Went out with this girl last night. Took her home very late. Went in because I had a sore throat and she offered me some Listerine. She said it will take a sore throat away instantly. I went in. We went to her kitchen. And there we proceeded to swig but not swallow a few glasses of Listerine in the dark in her kitchen. She was right, my throat did feel better. I went up to her and said now that we have such fresh breath we should start making out. Cheesy I know. But it worked. She says, you think so? And then we proceeded to make this mad passionate love—can you call it that?—on her kitchen counter. She had this counter island in the middle of the kitchen. It was awesome. I'll spare the details. I warned her about the diaries afterward, I mean she knew about them, but I kind of checked with her. She said, “I read your diaries. I enjoy them. You talk about other experiences. Why should this be any different? You are welcome to say whatever you want about ‘the Listerine girl,’ just leave me out of it.” O.K. fine. I wont mention your real name. 

Current Spin: Caetano Veloso, federico y giulietta—Caetano sings in Italian about fellini.