There are so many bugs here in Oklahoma. And lots of sounds of animals all around me as I sit out here and type away. crickets and frogs mostly. Dogs barking in the distance. And bugs hitting the windows. Its so peaceful here that I feel like I am opening up inside a little again. Living in South beach, which is so soulless that it could very well be the lobby of hell itself and we just don't know it, has really taken its toll on me the last few weeks. I have closed up so much lately, not really myself. Finding it again though very quickly. Remembering.

Being out here in this beautiful clear weather. Watching the sunset every night over the huge open fields that stretch from one end of the world to the other; hanging with the family doing nothing. I woke up today on the couch at about three in the afternoon from a little catnap to the sounds and smells of the Rat in the kitchen baking cookies, mom was on the floor playing with the nieces, and Beav was lying on the couch working on his computer. How lucky I felt in that moment to have such a wonderful family to come home to.

Oklahoma. We drive by a sign in front of a house that read “FOR SALE WITH OWNER.”

A few minutes later we drive by a sign in front of a holiday inn that reads ‘56K MODEM WITH YOUR ROOM FOR ONLY $19.95!”

This place is classic. The heart of America.


Aliens
In 1991 I had a vision of some terrorists from the Middle East attacking us in the future. I've already written about it so I'll keep it brief. But I had this vision that there would come a time where we would always refer to before and after they attacked us. that they would attack our financial center. and it would be the beginning of a new era in our American history and in civilization. I wrote about it in one of my handwritten diaries of the time. When 9/11 happened I realized that I was seeing on TV what I had had the vision of ten years before. To be honest it was much less catastrophic than my vision. which leads me to believe that we can all breathe a huge sigh of relief or that as senator Gary hart recently warned that there will be more attacks. I cannot say for sure. But my gut instinct tells me that there will not be any more; even after our invasion of Iraq. 

A few years later, in an unrelated incident, I had read that there were other planets in our solar system that scientists had not yet discovered. I didn't know what to believe so did nothing but log the data into my memory and never thought about it again. Every now and then I thought to myself, I wonder if we’ll ever find those secret planets that are supposedly out there... Earlier this year scientists indeed found another planet in our solar system, sort of. Quaoar. No one is really sure yet if they are going to officially call it a planet or not. If they don't call it a planet, scientists say, then they will also take Pluto off the list of planets as well. so there will be eight instead of the nine we normally attribute are out there. weird. The times they are a changing.

Throughout the last ten years or so I have had an unshakable intuitive feeling that in our lifetimes that the existence of other intelligent life forms in the universe will make themselves known to us in some kind of very overt irrefutable manner. Whereas now it is still theory to most, that sometime in our lifetime it will become commonplace fact. I take note of it here so there is a record of it.

My feeling is that they are already visiting us, and continue to do so quite regularly. I have no personal experience of any kind that would make me say this. its just a feeling. It’s a knowing. I also have the feeling that it will not be necessarily a bad thing as many people fear. But their existence will rip open our current philosophical and theological views of the universe so wide that we will never be the same after it. Our current constructs of life and the universe will be forever changed. And I believe that after the initial shock we will be better for it.

I spent a considerable amount of time in 95 and 96 studying alien theories; a few years totally obsessed with current knowledge of the subjects. Some rational; some over the top crazy. everything from the theory that we humans were created as a slave race by aliens from Sirius B, which is actually a very popular and well known concept, to the theory that many of the world governments already know about alien life forms and are in constant communication with them, even the idea that many of our current military and technological advances come from this communication we have with alien life forms.

I am not sure what to believe honestly. I have no idea if our government already has this knowledge. A lot of people claim to know, but who knows really? For sure? All I do know is that I have a feeling that in our lifetimes we will see these alien life forms in the flesh. So to speak. Right on our very own TVs. For some reason the idea does not frighten me and I don't know why.