In the studio now recording my vocals for the new album. I can feel such a difference now after my return from the holiday. For one thing my voice is back, thank God. One of the things that the soul reader told me was to come from my deepest heart at all times. That I was here from Alpha Centauri many thousands of years ago as what she calls a blue print provider for humanity. (personally had a tough time swallowing a lot of the “facts” she “saw” in my “soul” but I really got a lot out of the ideas she presented to me—they seemed right on—she was recommended to me by a bunch of others I knew who had also called her and said they got a lot out of her whole trip, so I figured why not, and really, I have to say, that put aside all the coming from other planets stuff—which I am open to but skeptical about, her work, her readings are unbelievable accurate and helpful). So I did some processing on times when I didn't follow my heart as she suggested, didn't follow my intuition, wasn't completely allowing my power, doubting, second guessing myself etc. well that turned into a five day exploration, really more, just blown away by realizing how much I did hold back, second guessed myself, doubted my heart, my gut, my intuition, you hear this a lot—people always talking about it, but sometimes you don't realize that you could be doing it too; intense; realized how maybe I was operating at half of my power potential as a person in general. 

So then I spent the next week taking all this in and then really intensely focusing on changing all that, coming from this insanely huge place of power within me and not holding back anymore, you know before I knew it I just felt like I was on fire, like on a mountain or something. So that was where I was that last week or two of my trip and now I am starting to integrate being back here in the real world day to day of my life. I have been so moved by this the last two weeks since I have been home. I just haven’t been writing about it because this was such a huge transformational experience. It was like one of those before and after events you will always remember. I have talked to the artisan about it, we kind of went through it together each of us guiding and pushing the other on to greater and greater heights just honoring the other’s deepest wishes and desires and then prodding them to go for it etc, and she has said the same thing. Things just seem totally different now. more real, more vivid. Easier. 

I’m sitting here on the couch in the studio. I just sang the song veronica for the album and I was so moved by the whole experience. 

Kind of tingling. I was on fire with excitement. About singing. About being in this band. About making this music I hear through the headphones. I said, “God it's like a fucking rollercoaster or a ride at Disney world doing these vocal tracks. It's so much fun.” In every moment coming from my heart more and more. Just totally going for it. How do you explain that? I don't know. I was just so moved by my willingness to open up and be in the middle or be the source of this passion.

Imagine living in this state all the time. not afraid and totally inspired and passionate about life. as if by living through your deepest heart’s desires will just transport you to a constant state of joy and power and success and happiness. Just saying whatever you want in the moment like a little kid. 

  

The songs that have come out really good so far are junkie, vicodin, veronica, keep moving on, and I'm not the only one. Will post to the site as soon as some rough mixes are made. 

Rehearsal with the guys yesterday. Practiced little Tree and watching shira cry to go record for new album as well. That’ll be 13 songs which is a lot for one album but I just have to include those two.