Today is the 13th anniversary of John getting killed. Can’t believe that only Paul and ringo are alive now. hard to reconcile that. processing a lot. Getting to the outside of a lot of creations. I love coming to the office. I tried working at the house today till about 2. just can’t do it. I like the office environment. I can get more done. Saw the movie Chocolate. And decided that I definitely want to make that trip to Africa. Live there for a few months. Maybe spend a half a year or more. study the music, the animals, the cultures, and the languages. but first I want to do the France thing. speaking fluent French will make getting around in Africa much easier and more manageable. So plan on living in France for the summer. Paris for a month or two and then somewhere in the South to get that provincial vibe. Then plan for Africa the following year.

Played guitar all weekend. So into it right now. it is so visceral. You can feel it when it is loud and as much as I enjoy and focus a lot more attention on being a songwriter I could never go without guitar playing. It is just too important to me. I find myself thinking about it whenever I am not jamming. Peavey classic fifty is cool but just doesn’t compare to a good head and a 4x12. did a compare and contrast. Music man is still the king of TONE!! I love that baby. Too unwieldy for live usage, but the master of tone.

I get this email this morning from Antoinette, a friend from Sweden:

Dear Fishy,
Hello, I worry about you since I dreamed about you being bored. I hope everything is okay.
Bye

How does that happen? just this morning I was thinking about how thoroughly bored I am. How thoroughly lacking in meaning my life seems right now. how does someone I don't even know half way around the world have a dream about it? Our connections with other people are a funny thing. time and space don't have anything to do with these connections we have with people, do they? But alas dreams are funny. Can’t take them too seriously. but these connections that we have with people. Make life seem shorter and simpler... and yet life is long enough to enjoy, but sometimes I feel that life is just a blink of an eye in a long series of lives we are living, and I think perhaps that there is some kind of simultaneous life thing going on, an infinite number of lives being lived simultaneously. reflect back on the books Bridge across forever and One by Richard Bach. I don't think he is too far off. I think he is probably dead on there.

Current Spin: heard this bootleg of the Beatles rehearsing their vocals for the song think for yourself. Really cool. Also Emmy Lou Harris. Greatest hits. Haven't really been able to get into it too much yet.

Last screening: Happiness. This movie is not for the squeamish. But it’s a must see. Its sick and twisted and weird, but there is something about it that sticks with you. it is like the story of sad and sick people. and how evasive happiness is for them. I can’t shake it.