I am in the cigar store in phoenix. [I know. I quit about nine months ago, but I just love smoking during the cold holidays. The section of the Diaries that I am trying to edit by Jan 5th is about 575 pages and smoking is about the only thing that keeps my attention focused for long enough periods to sit and edit for hours at a time like that. or else I would just space it and never get it done. The diaries are terribly monotonous and now I am thoroughly convinced, not just secretly suspicious, that I am entirely insane without prejudice. Rambling on and on about the same thing months at a time.] The tinder box in the awatuke foothills is one of the coolest cigar stores in America. so laid back and cool. Its like the TV show Cheers. A bunch of guys always sitting around on chairs and talking and smoking. I come in here sometimes to smoke and write when I'm out this way.

Found some notes in my pocket for the diaries from a few days ago. a few months ago I had made this pact with myself to do at least one good deed a day. or more. right? I've written about it before I think. its one of those things that you forget about until you are hanging out with someone who notices and makes a comment about it. the artisan commented on it a lot. I think it’s the most fun thing you can do. just go around doing good stuff for people all the time. I noticed a few things about it this year. one thing is this: sometimes people are cynical about doing good deeds all the time. They have this voice in their head that tells them that if they are doing nice things all the time for people that they are selfish like they are doing it for themselves in order to get something back or whatever. I used to feel this way, so I just wouldn’t bother doing good deeds, cause I wanted to be doing it for the right reason. I think a lot people feel this way. Then once I started doing it, just totally coming from my heart and giving and helping in any way I could, I realized that it really does make you feel great, and that's o.k. I mean the other person feels great too. so what's wrong with you feeling good from it as well? absolutely nothing. Its just an awesome feeling. I noticed that the more you start to contribute to the good of other people the better you feel all the time. lets say it is totally selfish. Who cares? I noticed that that you can get totally addicted to helping others and how it makes you feel. It just rocks.

Last night I saw a little bit of Groundhog Day. I used to love that movie. And that was kind of the moral of the story. And it really cemented for me. like a message was being delivered. And then today in the cigar store, the Oprah show was on. And she was giving this lady this Princess of the day prize and gave her a car and more. it was awesome. Oprah is my hero. I would love to do that with my life. at the level that she is at now, with access to those kind of resources. it really resonated with me that you have to follow your heart and go with things that deeply resonate within yourself. And for me that does it. when it comes down to it, in the end of it all, that's what its all about. how happy we can be and how much ability we have to help others be happy. I hope that my wife is as awesome as Oprah is. I hope that she is a super hero and that together we can really do some amazing things in our life together.