Sexual Promiscuity, Good or Bad?

Today I am in the closet writing. Me and the laptop and the cat and too many cups of espresso. it is very comfortable. Hanging out with all of your clothes. Good smells and good memories. Seriously. Hanging out in your closet with all of your clothes for an hour or so is like getting to wear all of your outfits at the same time on the same day instead of having to choose just one.

O.k. I'm done studying porn now. Its been about six months. Really dug in and checked it out. A few days ago, I kind of got the ah hah. Here's the deal. At first it does seem gross and nasty and disgusting and distasteful and soul-less and all that. to some, I might add. Maybe not to everyone. I know some guys and girls who don't mind it all. think its great. And so that's why I decided to really dive in and research it myself. Because I didn't feel that way about it. so I wanted to discover why. the idea was to dive in and integrate it. you know, you can’t be grossed out by something but still be attracted to it in some way. That whole desire/resist paradigm is a sure sign that you have un-integrated beliefs surrounding something. which then takes up some of your attention, which then weakens your overall personal power. which in turn inhibits your ability to create.... by now we know the drill. Already wrote about the whole porn thing a lot; but I guess the conclusion is that sex is sex. Sex is different than love. And that yucky feeling that one can get from porn is from confusing the two. People think oh that's so gross. Those people don't even know each other. That is such soul-less, loveless sex.

But that's the point. Yes. That's exactly what it is. its sex. for the sake of sex. But what you have to get over is the idea or belief that that's bad in some way. I mean, granted, a lot of gross and bad things can come out of the whole sex porn scene, things like child porn, or abusive drug use, or sexually transmitted diseases and all that, but any industry can be that way. shopping at the Gap or buying Nike shoes supports children and women working in sweat shops for 30 cents an hour under horrible conditions at machine-gun point, seriously—so go figure. That doesn’t stop people from shopping there. But that doesn’t make sex for the sake of sex a bad thing. you know? that was the piece for me. realizing that its this natural thing. sex. its not love. Its not about couples or relationships. Its like anything else that we enjoy here on earth. Like food or shopping or chocolate or love. But its sex. and so porn is like the Starbucks for people who like sex. and maybe that's not necessarily a bad thing. or a good thing. it just is. you know, getting off does feel good. and I think, and this is where we really go deep in the trenches of the human psyche, I think that if it doesn’t feel good to people, I mean, I think if they do have hang ups about themselves getting off, or enjoying sex, or other people enjoying sex and being into it, without being married and all that more conservative religious stuff, then there are probably just some screwed up beliefs inside there that need to be cleared. Its not that you start getting all into it and lose sight of being married or being in a great relationship or being monogamous to your partner or anything like that. You don't lose that. you don't lose your desire for love and romance. its just maybe that you realize that sex is this normal thing that is a part of and yet can be totally separate from all of that other stuff.

[o.k. I thought more about it. I watched some of this German gang-bang porn---ten guys do another man’s wife on their wedding night---every man’s dream for his wedding night, right?... The Germans have the most wacky, most disturbing porns out there, lets just put it that way---this one is mild compared to what they put out... I won't go into the details. the Dutch are very loose and free as well, very matter of fact about it, in the Swedish porns the girls are always these blond little tarts laughing and giggling the whole time—like they're all at the beach. The French porns are so matter of fact that they don't even seem pornographic. The guy is like (in this thick French) yeah do me baby.... and its like you're watching a couple of people wash their car... but forget all that.

I wanted to understand what it was... I went inside, deep inside, just sat and meditated on this, trying to get to the bottom of why at some point, did WE decide in our consciousness to make porn or gratuitous sex seem like such a bad thing. Why do so many religions consider it wrong? Why are they so against sex for the pleasure of sex? Why is it labeled a sin? Why was it originally labeled a sin? What is it that everyone is so against? Everytime you hit a brick wall in your thinking about something, when you just can’t figure it out, you just turn around and head somewhere else, it feels like your mind is a snake, just twisting and turning through consciousness until you get to the core of whatever it is that you’re trying to get to the bottom of. A minute or two later I got it.

As with all things religious or allegedly “of God,” this too was cultural, and survival related to our species...  before we decided to start feeling this way about sex, I have no idea when it was---Islam is only 1400 years old, Christianity only 2000 years old, Judaism about 5000 years old, all preach against sexual promiscuity without marriage and all that.... so before these religions... imagine what it must have been like for us before that... I mean, women didn't even start getting real rights till the 20th century... so back then people were probably just doing each other all the time... and chances are it was probably the men who decided these types of things. the old cave man beats the woman over the head with a club thing we see in cartoons... I felt into that.... wow. Its an intense thought when you think about it. The poor women throughout history....

so the sex thing, before religion came around... what happens when you have sex? You have babies. And what happens if you have babies but you aren't married and you don't know who the father is? Many moms roaming around with many babies and no husband or man around. Not good for us or our survival. So you can see how these types of taboos begin in consciousness and then in society. When people first started preaching against it --- casual sex, gratuitous sex for the sake of sex, sex without marriage --- it was probably just to avoid thousands of fatherless babies being born with no one to take care of them. when people started saying that it is ‘immoral,’ indeed it was. Not in a God type fire and brimstone way, but in a holy shit we have to find a way to stop these people from having sex and leaving all these unfathered children all over the fucking place kind of way. But how do you get ‘the people’ to stop it? Simple. Use God. Tell people that something is not good for them, and they don't care. Tell the people that to have promiscuous sex outside of marriage is “morally wrong” in the eyes of God and that they will burn in hell of eternity and you might make better progress. People are always more frightened of God than they are of losing their lives... 

[Reading this book about Abraham Lincoln. And the book is constantly referring to slaves. or ‘the slaves.’ like, ‘he helped free the slaves.’ As if there were this people called the slaves. Of course that's a total misnomer. There never were any slaves. these were people. just like the people who were enslaving these people were. they weren't slaves. they were people who were enslaved. Just like you and me if we were ever to be enslaved by someone bigger or stronger than we are. its bullshit to call a group of us slaves, just become some assholes took advantage of these people. especially now, when we’re looking back it. [I swear to God if I were alive back then it would have been very hard for me not to take a gun and just shoot as many of those fuckhead slave-owners [another misnomer because there were no slaves—just people enslaved, so call the people formerly known as slave-owners ‘the fuckhead bastards.’] as I could have gotten away with before I got caught. When I think of slavery it makes me very angry. It is something I need to work on.] the point is to stop calling or referring to people as slaves from back then. I imagine what would happen if like my mom or dad got enslaved in some other country and I was over here trying to get them free or whatever. We wouldn’t be referring to them as slaves. We’d be calling them ‘Fishy’s mom and dad who are being enslaved by some evil fuckhead bastards.’]

Current Spin: the verve, 1995 northern something or other. Good vibe. Songs o.k.