On the phone today with the manager of this huge hotel up in New York that wants to play the new CD in their nightclub for a while. Calling for clearance rights etc. if they can clear it through us then they don't have to pay performance rights; and for us if one of the swankiest hotels in NYC is spinning your new CD, its good promotion. So its good business for everyone. The guy on the phone is the manager of the entire hotel. you know, probably the stuffy starched shirt type of guy I figure, who knows. so its just business as usual. But then he finds out that its actually me that he's talking to and not some agency or manager or whatever. So we start talking personally. Turns out he is a big fan. And that's how we got the opp in the first place. “My girlfriend stole my copy of rise and shine so I went to buy another one and then I bought your new one. I have to say, its just awesome...” But what's more than that, is he has every album I've ever made, knows all the lyrics to every song... the whole thing. He has my entire catalogue and goes back to the Shattered days. Has all of our original CDs. Knows every song I've ever put out since I was a kid. For him this was a big moment—he was just blown away being able to talk to me, because he was getting to tell me how he feels about each song and each album etc. and lets face it, I'm not really famous or anything, more un-famous, so this was just as big of an event for me. Probably even bigger a deal for me. It just made me feel so good. he tells me they are on the Internet shopping for a good deal on airfare so they can fly down to Miami to catch a show one weekend. Tells me how many times he saw me play with Shattered back in the day when we would tour. I'm humbled and honored. I stood up and was pacing around the room asking him all these questions about each song on the new CD to get his opinion. I mean, if anyone knows, its your fans who know, you know? “O.k. listen Chris, let me ask you then, what should the next single for radio be for sleep with you?” “Well if there's one thing I do really well, its pick songs.” He says. “I can just tell when a song is a hit. And on that album I like them all but Veronica is my favorite. And then Superhero girl. That song just has the hooks.” “So not girls?” “Well no. that's a good song, but I wouldn’t hear that on the radio...” “Hhhmmmm.” We talked for a while longer and he asked if he and his girlfriend could take me out to dinner tomorrow night. Which couldn’t have come at a better time because I don't have a dime to my name right now. I figured I was going to be living on Ramen noodles for four days... so go figure. All this from just some hotel nightclub wanting to play your music. Crazy.

Deeper than that it just reminded me. Earlier that day I was talking to God. “Fucking a God, can you just give me a sign that I'm even close to the right track here?” I look up. “Am I fucking kidding myself or what? What the hell am I doing with my life here?” and its these little things, these little conversations. Your fans don't know. They go and buy your CDs when you release them. And try to catch your shows when you're in town. They have no idea what you're going through as a person, just know you as an artist. I think that most fans just figure its like MTV or something. I don't think they realize that sometimes, not all the time, but certainly at this level, that we’re just normal people trying to do a great job at our job... that just a simple ‘hey man you're fucking great’ can make your whole day and keep you inspired. A stellar moment in time for sure. 

Obsessed with black people lately. Black women especially.