This thing with Martha Stewart. Crazy. Martha Stewart going to prison? I don't see it happening. Nope. Not going to happen. but if it does... wow. And you know she got duped by the people around her a bit.... just thinking that once you get to that level that there's no way something bad could ever happen. just goes to show. You just never know. so its better to ride it clean. Now if that ken lay CEO from Enron doesn’t go to prison... what a strange world indeed dear Julia....
I read Julia's letter again today. somehow and I don't know why exactly but it had a tremendous impact on me, receiving this letter. And starting to correspond with her again after so many years. Reconnecting with, as she puts it, “the keepers of our history...” Julia was my first crush. Back in junior high school. I met her when I was 11. I even took out an ad in the school newspaper to profess my love to her. I know, leave it to me. 11 year old junior high school kid to take out an ad in a newspaper to tell a girl who wouldn’t even speak to me that I love her.... crazy even as a young lad. but I soon moved and never saw her again. until college. But by then we both had boyfriends and girlfriends and things had changed a lot. She said to me, “Fishy you’ve always been in love with love more than any one person...” and I thought to myself in that moment, ‘how the hell can you tell that from a seventh grader?’ I thought that was such an astute observation. But things have changed again. now we converse like old souls who have touched each other for lifetimes. Sharing what we've learned over the years...

We have more in common than we do with a lot of other people in our own backyards. our souls have caught up now in this lifetime.

I am set on moving back to New York. Its not a question anymore. Now I am frantically running around making plans and taking action to get out of here and get back to America. I have eight weeks to get it all done and move out of here. I am in school for beginning French and the class is eight weeks long. I figure that will keep my brain occupied while I'm here and give me a good deadline. Going from 3500 square feet to less than a thousand isn't going to be easy. But as long as I get a bed and a few guitars and an amp squeezed into my new place I'll be happy. Anything is better than this right now... isn't that funny? That slow boil... one minute you're driving around with the music pumping, and the next thing you know you can’t wait to leave a place.... I'm walking around here like an alien from another planet. I'll tell you the funniest thing about Miami. from an American’s perspective. If you're white/American, and you meet someone new here at a restaurant or a club or a bookstore or where ever, you know the first thing they ask you? “You're not from around here are you? Where are you from?” cause the truth is that whites, or gringos as they call us, which is a word that means foreigners or strangers (ironically we’re called strangers here.... ) don't come from here, and they don't usually live here either. Usually just visit. But that's not why I'm moving. I have liked living and working amongst the South Americans these three years. I've perfected my Spanish and Portuguese here and I've learned so much about the world. But I feel this undying desperate need now to be in a world more aligned with my own interests, with people I can relate to more and who can relate to me more. Miami will always be home away from home to me. But I gotta make a new home. Starting over from scratch. Crazy.
We hired a new publicist today. She’s up in Boston. Super cool chick. Super smart.
“Hi this is Fishy.”
“Oh my God I love you!” she says.
“Oh wow. Thanks.”
“Your music is so awesome. I can’t believe it. I was afraid I would never be able to reach you.”
“I got your message. Sorry it took me so long. So you like the new album?”
“Yeah its great. I like it a lot.”
“You think you can salvage my reputation?” I ask. She laughs.
“I have been reading your press. You have gotten yourself in quite a jam. But I think in the long run that's a good thing. you pushed some buttons that's for sure.”
“Yeah I guess so. You think you can turn it around? I mean all this crap about the new album?”
“Well what did you expect? Honestly? You have a naked girl on almost every page of your CD booklet and every song on the album is either about sex or drugs or both. what did you really expect?”
“I don't know. I guess I just want thinking. I was just in the flow of it. to be honest I never noticed that the girl was naked...”
“How do you put out a CD and not notice that there's a naked girl on the cover?”
“I didn't see her as being naked. I just thought the pictures were beautiful... seriously. maybe that's why we need a new publicist... someone to help out with that type of thing. if someone would have warned me or something, maybe I would have noticed what was going on...”
“You singers are all the same.”
“I doubt that. I've never been accused of being the same as anyone else before. that's a new one. But listen. If you can get people to understand it a bit more... if you can get people to get what I was trying to say, then you got the job. I mean that. I feel like no one got it...”
“I got it. I think its beautiful Fishy. you guys did a great job. You made a great album.”
“thanks for saying that. seriously. that means a lot.”
”I know editors who are going to get it. Who are going to feel the same way. You're just not hitting the right people....”
“You think so?”
“Yes I do. And you know what they say. Bad press is better than no press, so don't worry about it. its all good.”

We must have talked for an hour. Just going for it. Train speed conversation. Like lightening. I told her I was falling in love with her from our conversation. I miss intelligent conversation so much being here. Rapid fire jousts of the intellect. You just don't get it here. but like I've always said Miami has more beautiful girls per capita than any other city in America. hands down. Bas says he's staying here until he meets his wife because no where else in America do you have a better chance of meeting a beautiful girl. I wish him the best of luck with that. But like I told this publicist today, ‘you know your mind is turning me on so much I feel like I'm going to have an orgasm. ‘ I swear to God I could hear her blushing over the phone. But I was serious. I don't care what a girl looks like. Say what you will about the aphrodisiac abilities of good looks or tons of money or a hot body, but nothing turns me on more than a smart person. Maybe I've just been in Miami so long that I've become immune to good looks... you don't even notice it after a while.