-----Original Message-----
From:    julia Sent:    Mon 2/15/2005 11:29 PM
To:    fishy
Cc:
Subject:    Re: what it is

Dearest Fishy,
hahahahahaha! well goodness. here is this beautiful scroll awaiting after my so burbling baboon conversation with assyra. man! i had had a THICK day at school as had she, and we spoke briefly tonight about the Matter of Fishy. funny but i found myself being very protective of you. i think she wanted to hear portrait of the artist as a young man type stories but all i could convey to her was the general and profound universal awkwardness of junior high school, and the unnerving intensity of your curiosity and gaze even in one so young. we have spoken of this, you and i. i told her a little about the unnamed chorus teacher-- a bit about the Shattered gig where we ran into each other. nothing much though....

"um.  wow. Fishy. yes..."  Assyra is probably thinking, jesus, who let this hippie have a cell phone??? who knows what she'll do with my beige phrasing. perfect for rolling stone.  hahahahahahaha she is cool though. i just couldn't get JOURNALIST out of my head and so it was difficult to feel fluid.

She wanted to know if your path so to speak was apparent as far back as jr high. i told her that you are the most intensely-fearlessly-curious person I've ever met. that you examine things like a child would, from all angles, unafraid to act on your foibles or your passions and that you are honest about both of those. that you are no saint, more like a wizard. I told her that you have a good mom, and have been blessed with some good elders along the way. i hope she does you justice Fishy. if not, she will be out here in a month and i will have to sort it out with her somehow.  unleash the MOM, whap. so, things..............

Oh my god the grammy party sounded like a fucking riot!! "girls! doing things! TO me!! hee hee! back off girls this scarf is HANDMADE.  okay, you can touch me there though..."   but god, sheer exhilaration.
athena was by me on the stairs when i was listening to your message and she says, who is that? --it's rock star Fishy honey.--- is he okay?--- oh yes, he's at a rock star party... i could see her filing the feeling away for later. she wants to be president. which eventually will be something like being a rock star eh? so good on you Fishy -- sounds like your proprioception was accurate and you inhabited your space with utmost joy and good humor.  fucking rad. i am glad the scarf served. i am HONORED that you called me to tell me about the experience. truth, this.

about the tony robbins tapes--- i love them-- the only thing that makes me uneasy is the subliminals. i am feeling a huge resistance to undergoing that part of the process. read:TRUST ISSUE. i am fairly protective of my mind and what goes in it ---especially images because they are incredibly effective for me and tend to stick viscerally---invade my dream spaces too--- the thought of subliminal looping feels weird. any thoughts regarding this? what is your experience with this part of the program?

I still love soccer legs though.

thank you for the messages, and the priceless trust.

much and more--
cheers---julia

Dear Jules,
1. I do not know about the subliminals... maybe something new he added. I feel the same as you do... do disregard it if you wish... subliminal always freaks me out a bit... enough sub-conscious shit coming in to process... no need to deliberately add more... 2. thanks for Assyra... I'm sure it will be fine... you should have told her how I chased you all the way to Oregon... classic... actually I think I sort of told her... don't know if I told her the whole thing... may have just mentioned it. what a crazy boy indeed. 3. you are such a good writer!!!! wow. I always walk away after reading you like I just saw a movie or something... so powerful and deep and dramatic... your brain will be a hard one to compete with, now that it has sucked me in... I wonder if I will meet another girl who will have a brain as ..... as yours is. it has certainly set a good archetype...
4. yes soccer legs are sexy... I hear ya on that one. its those little shorts they wear, and those muscles... I wonder what it would be like to get wildly made love to by a shaggy haired beer guzzling soccer player.... probably great until after he was done and wanted to run off and play with his friends... after guys orgasm, guys always want to jump up and go do something... use those endorphins pumping through the brain... girls shouldn’t take it personally... it just means we're happy. 5. who let this hippie have a cell phone? = LOL!!! 6. athena as president... wow. Tell her I said hello. I will take her to great parties when she is older... we will party like rock stars and presidents do.

o.k. enough of my drivel
Much and more... I love that. enjoy your day.
Love Fishy

Important black people:
olanda equiana
venture smith
phylis wheatley
richard allan – 1 of the 1st preachers
harriet jacobs
harriet tubman
nat turner
david walker
frederic douglas
william loyd garrison – white newspaper man who fought hard for the abolition of slavery and actually burned the constitution publicly because at that time it actually contained owning slaves as an inalienable right of white men, so that makes him black in my book.
danherfield newby
john brown – white, but fought hard and lost his life to try to help free the slaves.
600'000 men died in the American civil war over the slavery issue, white and black.
adam clayton powel
paul robson
thourgood marshal
martin Luther king
malcom x
jesse jackson
colin powel
oprah – she transcends blackness, she's just a transcendent human, doesn’t even need a last name at this point
calvin butts