Just got the call. Our friend Maria is getting worse. She has started to bleed through her trachea tube. It is only a matter of time now. she has we guess decided to head the other way. I call her lover *** and I tell her we are there for her. hundreds of people around the country are there for you both thinking about you and thinking the best thoughts for you. I hope you know that. I know. I know. and Maria knows too she tells me sobbing into the phone. Fishy, there is one thing you can do. tell me sweetie. will you write a song for Maria? She sobs. I already did. I wrote one that night that I was with her in the hospital. And you know what? she added some lyrics of her own. oh my God thank you so much Fishy. that is so cool. I know. it really was. I will play it for you one day. I will record it. it is called Maria full of grace.

Boo Boo Kitty tells me that its o.k. that Maria wants to check out. that will finally be free out there floating. I lied this imagery. It helped me calm into it a bit more. death is heavy for the people that are left behind. But perhaps its not so bad for the person who leaves. At least for Maria, attached to all these machines, afraid to even wake up for fear of choking on the dam tubes shoved down her throat... maybe for her its an alright thing to pass on. I will hold that space for her. for whatever she decides to create. I will miss her though. Very much.

Current spin: ivano fossati, not a word. This is AMAZING. REALLY GOOD MUSIC.