On the subway. Still seeing the judgments come in sometimes. In the movie they call my thoughts. Judgments of other beings coming and going. where is the knower who knows all and judges not? how long must I wait to become him?

current spin: on Amazon.com for the last two hours doing research. Everyday this week. hours and hours and hours. I purchased 19 cds. got all the new releases coming out that I felt that I could at least get through even once... but most of them I just listened to.... funeral, doves, shins, Decembrists, Kaiser chiefs, Louis the 14th, all the bands that are the next big thing for the most part are just the same old thing with a different singer.... honestly just didn't feel the need to purchase any of it. wanted to want to but just didn't want to... same old 4/4 rock and pop. Nothing new... I read so many incredible reviews and album descriptions only to listen and quickly learn that there wasn't anything new there.... but I did purchase some way out stuff, mouse on mars, boards of Canada, squarepusher, drum and bass, atmospheric, avant garde instrumental, a new sigur ross re-release. Bought the new Gwen CD because it sounds like the production is off the charts. And of course a few of the newest hip-hop cds because that's where all the creativity is these days.

I think that puts the total this month at 50. no, maybe not, hold on, I will check... stand by.... o.k. I'm back. I just counted.... 91 cds from Amazon.com since January I purchased. That's nuts. And that doesn’t include bmg, Columbia house, virgin and tower stores, the occasional bestbuy splurges, and CD collections from eBay (this is my own little secret weapon: go on eBay and type in “CD collection” and just buy other peoples whole collections from them. There will be a lot you have in your collection, but those you can quickly sell on Amazon at a good used price, but whatever you don’t have may be something really cool you’ve never heard of. Good way to get turned on to things...) I'm probably buying a few hundred cds a month at this point trying to find anything in music is totally off the charts...

A few nights ago, before the sunrise, I was on Amazon researching African music spawned by a recent discovery of that Moroccan CD and I purchased a big supply of African cds – about twenty of them. Salif keita, youssou ndour, king sunny ade, ladysmith, Ali farka, etc... and just about anything anyone recommended.... also anything I didn't have of the David byrne catalogue because he is so cool. Very inspirational he is. He is... exploring, adventurous, Totally out there, willing to try anything, no matter how crazy it might sound in the end.  not always on, but who is?

now I am listening to something called a world out of time, Henry Kaiser and David lindley in Madagascar. More documentary than pure music. did you know that Madagascar is an island? Off the southeast coast of Africa? And here they are making music.. and I'll tell you, its pretty normal sounding music. nothing so far here too far out. but good. funny, but it sounds like island music. why does island music sound like island music? now there is a guy called Roger Georges with a song called aza mamaraha playing... very cool. the instrumentation is totally different. Which is what I'm looking for now. new instrumentation so I can add it to pop and rock and new musical ideas, new scales entirely. somehow someway I will break from this mold of creating normal predictable pop rock songs and albums.