Before i forget...

It had been happening for a few months, only late at night so by the time i would awake in the morning i would always forget. Every now and then i would see the visions during the day and remember to attempt to go there again that night. After a while it became a regular practice. Been months now. It has become part of my natural thinking as i fal asleep each night.

Don't know what made me think of it. Riding the subway earlier today i had the recollection. Been meaning to make a note of it. What will come of it.... what can come of it... isn't that ever the holy grail of questions.

I cannot say what prompted it. It was not a conscious thought. It was never a conscious intention. As I was falling asleep one night a few months back i disctinctly remember watching the thought-dreams and images pass before my mind's eye as every night before. But this night i actualy became conscious of it. perhaps for the first time. recognized that at some point before we fall into what we call "sleep" we go from conscious thinking to unconscious observing. just random pictures, scenarios, images, thoughts, ideas, all scrambled together and utterly random and unintentional. before we know it, next thing we know, we are out. But this particular night i recognized that was happening.

Keenly aware from studying it that in some circles psychiatrists and neuro-scientists will call this state of mind the 'hypnogogic state.' legends abound how edison, da vinci and nostradama would create elaborate systems to send themselves off to the hynogogic state with a bell attached to their wrist or head to awaken them so they could then scribble down any thoughts they could remember having during that state of half-consciousness. i was familiar with it. Other artists like Neitsche or Poe used more direct methods such as morphine or heroine or LSD. i've never been too partial to any particular method as long as i get THERE. which is the point of it. once conscious thought stops and this other mechanism takes over, this unconscious awake-but-dreaming mode, miraculous ideas transpire, things we would never normally conceive of. It's where songs come from.

We could spend hours talking about it of course. and if we ever get a chance to meet in person, please let's do. But here now let's move on. So on this particular night I consciously popped myself out of it for a moment just long enough to actually observe it. I noticed that i was struggling in the vision that i was having... something wasnt working out. something had fallen and i was trying to bend over to reach it and i couldnt. Again, not sure what prompted this, but a voice in my head just said "well then, just use your mind to pick it back up and put it in its place." which i then did in the vision. it was that simple. i made a mental note to remember to start doing that in all of my dreams and pre-dream visions. i am, as most, not able to do this in my waking state. move objects with my mind. but i was clearly able to do it in my mind. in my dreams. in my visions. could i do it in my unconsciouus random pre-dreams and visions as well.

A year before i had started having dreams of bouncing hundreds of feet up in the air and landing softly only to bounce up again. these eventually turned into a very real conscious deliberate flying dreams. now they are common for me to have. i fly around or bounce for miles into the air and traverse the earth as if i am some sort of extraterrestrial being with super-powers on a regular basis. So i assume that this new form of telekinesis is just the next step from that.

a few nights later i remembered this new found ability to do this and attempted to do it again as i was falling asleep. The key was this: whatever i was envisioning or experiencing i would consciously attempt to do it easier, more magically, more super-naturally using my mind. if i saw myself in a vision or scenario walking down the street to get somewhere i would tell myself "why not just go from here to there like BAM without walking but rather just literally go from here to there in an instant." and then i would just instantly transport from one place to another like magic.

Or perhaps i had seen myself balancing some things but was struggling for the keys in my pocket. i would just tell myself to let go of all the items and let them all balance in mid air as if by magic while i looked for my keys and they would all just float there. or sometimes i just tell the door to open without me even reaching for my keys to open it. i just think the thought, "door open now" and the door opens and i walk through it. it goes on and on. there seems to be no end to what we can do with our mind as opposed to doing it with our bodies as we are currently limited on earth in our current state of mind or conscious awareness.

now after a few months of this there is almost nothing that i haven't pulled off in these random dreams and visions. and here's the catch. i am not talking about anything conscious as if in meditation which i would assume might be the next step. or perhaps it is the step before, i dont know. i am not talking about consciouusly sitting down to meditate and attempt to envision yourself pulling off telekinetic stunts deliberately. what it is showing up as for me is a conscious decision to have it happen unconsciously as if it is a natural ability that i possess. no matter what the circumstance. if i encounter a "a bad guy" in a dream, we all know how dreams are, filled with ghosts and dream girls and wizards and freinds and enemies and good guys and bad guys, just the mind messing about with itself really, well now a voice in my head says "just make him dissappear. and he dissapears. or "make her appear. make her come over to you." and WHAM she (whoever she happens to be in that particular dream) just appears right in front of me. as if by magic. like some teleportation.

telekinesis. teleportation. at least now we know it is indeed possible. at least in our minds. i have seen it for myself. it becomes easier and easier once you begin to practice it. and it all happens quite unconscoiusly which is what gives me hope for the future. if i was still in a state of having to go into a meditative mind-set and deliberately try to picture it or envision it, i would say that it was jsut imagination. whereas now it has become a new way of thinking. just as breathing is ... after all, something that at some level we are having to think about doing, but we just arent conscious of having to think about it. having thoughts in fact is something that we arent consciously thinking thoughts about. we just have thoughts. (some would argue thats not such a good thing, but we'll save that for another conversation.) the point is that if we consciously tell ourselves that we want this ability in our half-conscious state we can indeed acheive that ability.

now again, what will come of it? what can come of it? im not sure yet. i do know that it has given me a tremendous feeling of power and confidence in general. as if i have crossed a new threshold of some kind mentally. But no i have not been able to pull it off in the real waking world. though when i do attempt it on occasion i fully expect to see it happen. which is a good sign. it means my waking mind is ready for it. no hangups about it.