Spoon Summer Semi-Pro Slumps & Rising Up Out of That Flame

Hey Summer!

So am I supposed to be happy about this email? That you went to see Spoon without me? One of my favorite bands right now! They are truly fucking great. AND you went to see Semi Pro without me? knowing that there is a sacred bond between us all and Will Ferrell that transcends all possible excuses excepting perhaps Armageddon itself. And even then...

Just kidding actually because I would have had to said no anyway, because I'm TOOOOO busy -- as hell, is how they say it I believe -- right now and if I can’t do the work for my own damn band fast enough to get our new albums out then why the hell would I go see another band play a show? You know? even if it is Spoon in their prime. I don't mind skipping out on shows by big huge oldie bands because its more of a greatest hits type vibe and I can enjoy it just as much on a DVD on a giant flat-screen with surround sound in the comfort of the old casa mia. You know? But to see a bnad like Strokes or Spoon or Radiohead or Coldplay or Muse or white stripes pre-meg-breakdown... those are good times... bands in their first five year stretch... that's where all the excitement is.

So you know what? Just look at me like a chick and always invite me to go see movies with you guys. even if you know I'm gonna say no, Cause I LOVE the Sky girls. You’re two of the few people that I'm not “sorry, too busy” for. (hence this reply when I am now sitting with 2938 unanswered in that wicked satanic thing we call an ”inbox” right now) BUT I must admit that I KNEW Semi Pro was gonna blow because Will has hit that point in his career now where he is just doing the same movie over and over again wearing different costumes. It’s like “o.k. this ones the same champ o.k.? But this time you're a doctor. Or ‘alright guy this one is the usual shtick but this time you're gonna be a cowboy.” And Will’s like “alright cool. Got it. See ya’ll on Monday.” It’s like YAWN! I bet he’s developing scripts right now for him as a clown, a wrestler, a porn star, a race car driver – oh yeah he already did that one! !!!!!

It sucks. But it happens to us all. Career slump. Too comfortable.

It happened to me before. I will try to type this really fast and then use it in some way – I'll blog it -- so I don't feel like I'm totally wasting my time by just emailing.... (not that communicating with you is a waste... but you get the idea.... every moment counts....

I'll never forget it. it was around 2003 or 4. I was rich as hell. Had three albums out with Transcendence. Two solo ones. Three houses. A commercial building worth a million. Breakfast served to me everyday in bed by a housekeeper who let herself in early in the mornings to cook and clean. I got in everywhere for free because everyone in Miami knew me. I owned everything there was to own. There just wasn't a damn thing that a person could buy that I didn't already have. (this is another story entirely and truly a rather deep, complex one, with lessons aplenty) I was going to self-empowerment courses all over the world. Spoke four languages. Traveled like a motherfucker. And by all accounts I was happy and successful. But I wasn't happy. But I didn't know it. I thought I was. But I also noticed that I BOUGHT a lot of stuff and was super anal about stupid materialistic things that don't really matter.

One day I was driving down Ocean Drive (along the coast in Miami Beach in my convertible turbo 330 icc silver BMW and I was just driving... looking for something to do.... and in that moment I realized that I was severely unhappy. I realized that I wasn't going to find anything to do in that moment that would really “make me happy.” I wasn't going to be happy even if I did manage to find my friends and hang out for the day on the beach or at Willies the bar drinking big fat super-charged tropical drinks that get you wasted. And this happened within the same month that I had that other realization that I “owned everything money could buy and that there was nothing left for me to buy.” Boohoo. I was devastated by that one. (I know. I've come a long way. trust me.)

That was a downer enough. But this other experience was worse. It was like I had this feeling that my life was empty and meaningless. And it didn't matter how cool my car was or how great my hair looked or how awesome my sunglasses were or that my band had a new album out or that my house was huge or how many hot chicks I had or any of that other shit. In that moment I realized that I needed a whole new life.... career slump. For no reason. My career was doing fine. I was coasting... but it was a slump alright.

I needed some perspective and so I called one of the most hard to reach famous “psychics’ in the world. Hans Christian King. $400 an hour or something crazy like that. he told me that on Grammy night he won more Grammy's than anyone else. I was like “I didn't even know you were an artist?” He was like “I'm not. But so many people who won Grammy's last night are my clients that it feels like I'm winning them because they are my friends and clients and we do a lot of personal work together to get them to that point in their life.” I'm like “o.k. great so what the fuck is up with me?” And he tells me “Honestly son, I hate to say this. But nothing is up for you. You are in what we call “a void.” Basically the idea is that nothing is happening and nothing will for a while. it is as if you are in a cosmic vacuum. I hate to say this to a person because I know you are looking for answers but I have none for you. There is nothing to tell you.” he did go on to tell me a few things about my life from a holistic point of view... that I would be married to the second love of my life. that I had just recently broken up with the first love of my life and that yes it was permanent. That I would have at least 3 or 4 children. And that my wife would die before me when we were older. “thanks asshole. I really want to hear that.” But his answer was interesting. He said “Listen, I can lie to you if you want. But look at it this way. you spend thirty or forty years together with this woman and you are both madly in love. You will be a lucky man. Its just that you are going to live a very very long time. and I know that YOU already know that.” wow. yes he was right. I did already know that and had been told that a hundred other times by other psychics around the world....

It would be great if I died when I was forty or something. just to prove them wrong...

So I called another psychic, this one equally well known in her field. Micky Dahne. An absolute clairvoyant. Real gift. She had a lot more to say but her first question was “honey why are you living where you live? you are very unhappy there. where DO you live?” “Miami, FL” “Oh yes I see. No no no. not good for you at all. You need to move to Washington DC or LA or to New York. And you already know this. why haven't you don't it?” I was shocked and stumped how this woman knew this... she also told me and I swear this is a quote “They’re going to put you on TV. You're going to be on TV.” And I'm like “who's going to put me on TV?” And she's like “Well someone is. you’ll see. It will be like a talk show but you will be traveling....” eerie right? considering that within a month of moving here we started the Transcendent Television project.... crazy.


Thing was, my whole life was in Miami. my house was in Miami. my other investment properties were in Miami. my companies and employees were in Miami. my friends were in Miami. and most of all MY BAND was in fucking Miami. What was I going to do? And what was I actually looking for???

Well. I did move to New York. That was that. My band showed up for rehearsal one day and saw a “for sale” sign in my front yard and thought what the fuck is this????!!! you're moving???? You can’t move! We’re in a fucking band!!!

But I had to. had no choice. felt like I was going to die if I didn't. my soul was aching. Real visceral pain.

Was it a good move? Was it the right decision? Boy was it ever. The last 4 years have been absolutely amazing. Hard? Sure. But mostly due to other circumstances that we don't have to get into. But the point is that I got a whole new life. A whole new attitude. I got out of that life/career slump and out of that “vacuum/void” that King was referring to... pretty soon I had more going on than I ever had before...

And then wouldn’t you know it happened again! Late ’05. This time much worse. Not just me deciding I needed a change but more like something totally out of my control and not of my doing -- more a cleansing by fire. (the legal thing you may or may not know about. the reason why I'm not daddy warbucks anymore – not at this moment – but soon again ---cause I'm working like a motherfucker to rise back up) But you know what? Even that I'm glad about. Because it has transformed me in a way that I would have been fine without, but with it, I think I'm really starting to become someone that I always doubted I could be, but always fantasized about becoming but wondered how people become that... and the last TWO years I'm watching me become that. a man. a person. a human being. It has been beautiful.

Best saved for conversations... not emails...


So Will Ferrell. He’s at that “Fishy in his BMW driving down the Ocean Drive experience” place.” Pretty soon maybe if we’re lucky as fans he’ll get sick of playing the fool and he’ll change it up a bit and surprise us all. Plenty of comics have. But for now, he’s burned out. we all see it. He’s doing the same thing over and over in different costumes. He needs a transformation. Something that will shake the shit out of him and turn him into something new. Or else pretty soon he's gonna be a has-been and people are gonna stop laughing. And he's gonna be selling insurance on late night TV making the same old foolish jokes for nobody laughing.

Sort of like the Iran thing. That fucked me all up. came out of nowhere. and now I don't know who I am or what I'm supposed to do.... kind of sad and traumatic but I know it will really be transformative for me and my peeps. I'm just not totally sure of the big picture yet. But I know that getting fucked up, rocking my ass off, and getting laid (holy shit am I saying this? To little Summer Sky??? Summer close your ears/eyes!) are not the only things in life. I mean, I'm not even sure WHAT the things are in life are now. Except trying to make things better for everyone. Which just might mean sacrificing our whole darn life to help make the world better in the short time we are here.... and here’s the thing: I ALREADY KNEW THAT >>> and anyone who knows me has already told me “Dude you're full of shit. You’ve been ‘trying to save the planet’ Mr. ambassador as long as I've known you. So no, this isn't some new revelation for you bro.”

O.k. fine. so its not.

But maybe I'm talking about internal changes that only I can FEEL.

Maybe that's what I'm talking about. Something going on inside me. With who I am. Rather than just “the mission.” Maybe the mission stays the same, but inside becomes clearer.... I don't know yet...


Oh yeah, your question about SPOON – sorry about that rant. But don't worry. I'll post it to the Diaries and believe it or not some people will actually get something out of it. Most of all, me. That was a good ride. And why else DO we blog? No?

Summer babe, little clubs always rock way better because it brings the band back to their “early days” when they were teenagers and starting out and you can smell the beer and its like “woooooo dude lets rock this little fucking place hard!” So yeah, little clubs = way cooler and more energy.

The other thing is that if SPOON is on tour right now which they may be, being on tour sucks. It is grueling. Same thing night after night after night but trying to pretend like it’s new because you KNOW you're playing for DIFFERENT people. In a different city. so to them it IS a new experience. But to you it’s the same damn thing you just did last night... so some nights you just can’t muster up the energy to fake it... you just want to get through it so you go to fucking sleep. Could also be that. who knows. we weren't backstage.

Tell you what though. I saw U2 three diff times on the same tour! In 02 or 03 -- In the same year. In three diff cities in the US. And they were amazing every single night in every single city. I couldn’t believe it. what a great live band.

Alright I actually have to work. Or we’re never going to play another show again till I'm old and fat. Which I already am.

Maybe see ya tonight.

Peace
F