What the F is wrong with CNN?

CNN was at one time a news station. I remember this. I am not that senile; nor that brain damaged from a life of a debauched and reckless rock and roll lifestyle. It cannot all be in my imagination that CNN at one time in the distant past fashioned itself “a news station.”

But times have changed. I am not sure WHAT exactly CNN is now, but it certainly does not deliver much news. And even worse for wear we all are when we begin to wonder where exactly should we go to get the latest news of the world?

I have kept CNN on for the last six hours while working in my office. Currently a hot little minx they call Campbell Brown is on the screen offering a something she calls “No Bull. No Bias.” Her top headlines?
“Burris Blocked From the Senate.”
“Gaza Humanitarian Crisis.”
“Al Franken announces victory but not sworn in.” and
“CNN’s own Sanjay Gupta possible Surgeon General?”
and
“Obama’s Stimulus Package.”

Problem? At 7PM the ever increasingly blustering Lou Dobbs, whose show preceded Ms. Brown’s, reported the same five stories. Two hours before that at 5PM Pussy Cat Blitzer reported those same five stories in his “Vomitorium Room” not once but TWICE each. Before that Don Lemon also came on a few dozen times telling the world about those same five stories. Later tonight at 9PM Larry King will tell us how “Oprah” is planning on losing weight yet again. Now that’s some important world news for sure. Tivo that shit. After that Anderson Pooper promises to do what? Tell us all about “the humanitarian crisis in Gaza, Burris getting blocked by the Senate, Al Franken declaring victory but not getting sworn in, and the potential pitfalls of President Elect Obama’s new 800 billion stimulus package.”

The pure guts of that man’s journalistic integrity. Such boldness. Stepping out on a limb like that to report on such rarely reported stories. NOT! He just repeats what we’ve already heard all day long from other CNN reporters. And he's not going to do it once. He's going to do it twice. Once in his first hour and once in his second. I cannot honestly understand how he can do it. And I mean that. For all the money in the world I wouldn’t myself personally do it. Unless I was drunk as hell, didn't give a fuck, and pretended that I was someone else 24 hours a day. The man has got to be brain-dead. No offense to brain dead people. I know he’s “just doing his job.” Ever heard of Edward R Murrow? So was he. Everyone at CNN can “just do their job” and still report the freaking news if they would simply stand up to the suits who run CNN who are telling them to run the same damn narrowly focused five stories ad nauseum all day long.

Speaking of nausea by the way, if bulimia is your thing, then CNN has got you covered because at midnight just in case you haven't barfed up EVERYTHNG you ate today they will replay the SAME Larry King show from earlier AND the SAME Anderson Pooper Scooper show. Doing what? Yep. Reporting the same damn five news stories they’ve shoved down our throats all day long.

So what’s up with “the most rusted name in news?” What caused CNN to jump the shark and run with celebrity wannabe puppet heads dressed up in different costumes repeating the same five stories all day instead of reporting news stories from all over the world? There certainly isn't a lack of news worthy events happening on planet earth. Life in today’s times is anything but boring or uneventful.

So what gives? Fuck if I know. And fuck if I care at this point. None should. We’ve given CNN enough time and attention and like the Bush-Cheney regime that illegally invaded Iraq and the White House it is simply time to pull the plug. CNN is a giant overstuffed corporate behemoth that talks too much, carries way too much weight, tries to pass its news anchors off as celebrities, and doesn’t deliver much except loud mouths, and questionable opinions rather than objective news reporting.

But let it be said that the people of the world would love to be able to have one place to go to gain access to comprehensive and objective news reporting from all over the world across a broad spectrum of subject matter. We have 193 countries on planet earth today if we count Palestine, which we should. So chances are there are more news worthy events happening each day in our world than one station could possibly deliver to the people even if they didn't repeat one news item more than once in a 24 hour period. That's a lot of news. And there are plenty of people who would love to hear it.

So that's the vision: One TV news station serving the people of planet earth 24 hours a day with the latest, greatest, and most up to date news items from around the world leaving no stone unturned, and preferably offering nary an opinion, but simply objective news reporting. Hey, you may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.

Ambassador over and out.