Hanging Tough

Wish I had more time for this. But that's part of the problem with tough times isn't it? We don't have enough time for anything. Except for work. Or not. Times can get so tough that we can't even afford the time it takes to work. Unless we're out of a job .Which means we are working harder on trying to find a job than we would be working if we had a job. But that's just tough times talk re work or no work. But times can get much tougher than that. Much tougher. Indeed that's exactly where we are right this very second. So when it comes to not having enough time, it's an understatement. Forget about "not having enough free time." We're talking "not having ENOUGH time. Period. Forget about "free time."

Friends call or text or email or Facebook. They wanna talk. Wanna hang out. Wanna find out if you have some time. I try explaining that we don't have any free time. Don't have enough time period. But I can tell they don't realize what we're talking about. That we literally don't have any time. As in none. Zero. As in even if I keep up this same pace of working around the clock 24/7 and don't stop except to sleep (yes that means working while you eat, working while you're in the bathroom (on your iPhone), and working every other waking minute of the day from six am to one am the next day, that we will still not be working fast enough to keep up with all the work that is being thrown at us.

The King calls or texts every now and then. He wants to schedule appointments to talk. Rather than just texting a hello that could then yield a pretty decent two to five minute conversation that could at least keep us communicating, he only texts to try to arrange "an appointment to talk." Which of course there's just no way I can guarantee I can keep. Not with what we have going right now. And he also refuses to use Facebook. Which is dumb because part of my job is staying on Facebook 24/7, so there's a damn good chance that if he really wanted to talk to me all he'd have to do is jump on Facebook and grab me. We could at least share a few sentences back and forth.

Craiger's much better about it. He gets it. He texts whenever he has a second. We communicate thru whatever means necessary in order to keep the fire of our friendship together. We text good morning. We text good night. It's gay, sure. But it also helps us stay in touch as well as offers us a minimal but still impactful amount of the support we derive from friendships. 

Spoke with Father Bloopy this morning. Both of us work at and own a company together, along with a few other people. And even with that, we go weeks and weeks without actually speaking in person. The rapid pace at which we work necessitates that we communicate with one another primarily thru email, Twitter, Facebook, or texting. We don't question it. It's just the nature of our lives right now. This morning we were both celebrating and complaining about how busy we've become. Yes of course it's good news. And at the same time yes of course it's terribly frustrating to be working 24 hours a day and not even have time to spend any QT with your friends or family or wife etc. To feel guilty when you take the time to shower or eat dinner with the family as opposed to at the office. Truth.

But more to the point, I told Bloopy that it wasn't just that we're busy here in the West Coast office with work. That every time he sees an email or a text from me or Princess Little Tree regarding "work" it should be viewed as a miracle. Because in addition to the 24/7 seven days a week work grind, we are also: still recovering from a devastating miscarriage that turned into a medical nightmare that is still going on now, two months later, in the process of a legal battle with our leasing company for our apartment in Manhattan and are being threatened with eviction for no apparent or stated reason, reconciling the fact that and trying our best to help my mom who is about to have to file bankruptcy and short sell her house, our family house! Horrible. Not to mention the constant battle over this strange illness I contracted eight months ago which refuses to go away. So it's doctors doctors doctors all the time -- either for her, or for me. Five minutes without wearing this Scopolomine patch behind the ear and I'm in the bathroom puking followed by passing out cold for an hour or more from the headache and dizziness that go along with it. No one can figure it out. Next up are the MRIs and the catscans of my brain. That's our last resort. We've been to them all, doctors that is. No one can tell us anything. Of course there's also the fact that financially we are way in over our heads like most people and on the verge of the unspeakable -- so the only thing we can do is work hard and fast in an attempt to try to improve things as quickly as possible.

And all of the above? That's just the "super hard challenging stuff." That's not mentioning the kids, the dogs, the mail, the office, planning and rehearsing the upcoming tours, the seven hour flights back and forth between New York and Seattle, the upkeep of the houses. Life itself is busy enough. Throw all these other things into the fire and you've just lit half the northern hemisphere with the golden blaze you've created.
So yeah, times are way more than tough. And that means we are way more than "too busy to have any free time". I go to sleep at 2 AM in order to sneak some more work time in after everyone in the house goes to sleep. By 6 AM I am awake, wide awake, my mind buzzing a million miles an hour, thinking, brainstorming and strategizing all these different crises we have in our lives right now. It's impossible to fall back to sleep when dealing with any one of the above mentioned problems, let alone all of them at once. My head just gets so wired and scrambled that I have to jump up and head to the office to try to improve or fix things.

But how DO we handle life when it looks like this? When you don't have enough time to pay attention to your personal life because your professional life is too busy; but your personal life is so fucked up and filled with crises that you don't have enough time to pay attention to your professional life. What DO you do?

You hang tough. That's what you do. You put everything and anything that you can off for a while in order to battle each and every one of these fuckers till they're dead and buried. You wake up earlier and you go to bed later. You do nothing but work. Around the clock. You also do a lot of praying. Remembering the old adage that God doesn't give you anything that he doesn't think you can handle. Which means you trust. And you have faith. And you don't give up. And you fight like there's tomorrow. You keep your eyes on the prize, look at the bigger picture, realize that "this too shall pass" and one by one, layer by layer, you bring down the beasts that haunt you. And in the end you become a stronger person by having to fight for yourself and fight for your family and always believe that you're going to come out winning.

Of course if you're like us, you also most likely possess a giant arsenal full of useful tools such as Avatar, Abraham, the Sedona Method and Tony Robbins. I still to this day just don't get the people out there in the world who refuse to take continued education in self-empowerment courses that are used and proven to work by millions of people and offer nothing less than "a better and easier ride through life." You see, it's not that you aren't going to encounter any problems or challenges in your life... you will. We all do. That's life. But it's how you handle those problems and challenges. THAT's the key to living the life of your dreams. It means that life may throw you a few curve balls, or even a few dozen, sometimes all at once! But you know without a shadow of a doubt that not only will you survive these life challenges, you will THRIVE.  

I told Princee the other day that "i have absolutely no doubts that we will get through each and every one of these challenges, no matter how insurmountable they seem in the moment." And this is the truth. I've experienced life blowing up in my face and crapping all over me. But I've never let it get me down or hold me down. I hang tough. I keep my attitude one of gratitude. For things could always get a lot worse. And so I am grateful as hell that this is all we are experiencing; and for all the numerous blessings that God and life are throwing our way. Believe it or not, with everything we are going through, I still feel like we blessed beyond measure. And to me that is hanging tough. Life will always have its challenges. But it's how we deal with them that determines how successful and happy we are. Or not.

If I were a betting man, which I'm not, I would surely bet that despite how many problems and crises we are presently dealing with, we are still going to continue becoming more and more successful and more and more happy. If YOU are reading this and have experience with life throwing you curve balls the size of coconuts and the explosive power of hand grenades, you already know about what I speak. More power to you. And more power to us. If YOU are reading this and are experiencing similar challenges in your own life, trust me when I say that there is absolutely nothing that can happen to you that is stronger than we are as conscious human beings. You hang tough too. And I'll see you on the other side of this mess.
Peace love truth art beauty and happiness,
Fishy