Cleopatra... made me who I am today. I had never had that kind of support before. her excitement and her belief in me. it was blind. And it gave me the kind of support that I had never had before. God I loved her for that. forgot about it for a while. Do I now have it in me to do it on my own? do I believe in myself? Without the belief or support from anyone else? I can barely breathe at the thought of it, but I believe that I finally starting to believe in myself. All on my own.

LAST SCREENING: the last king. An A&E three hour movie about King Charles the II, truly, the last real king of England. This is a great movie. As soon as it is over you want to see it again. great history. Great story. Great acting. One has no idea how impactful the catholic church was in humankind’s history. England was the first country to stand up to papal rule. Because of them, we are all finally safe from that tyranny that was once so brutal and omnipotent. See this film.

On the subway tonight and there was this girl staring at me. maybe she knew me, or wanted to. she was very beautiful. I was so happy; I was tired, listening to great music on the ipod headed for this art gallery opening that *** was giving and just digging being alive and I'm looking at this chick and I want to reach out to her. tell her how beautiful she was but then I spotted this other chick to my right and then another to my left and in that moment I realized wow I am fucking in love with three different girls on this subway car right now... and in that moment I realized that that was a great thing. opening up. what does that lead to? this opening up? I don't know. but it feels good to be in it.

Between albums at this time. between worlds. no touring no playing no nothing just waiting building preparing. Sometimes I have to choose between food and laundry. And as most people would I almost always choose the food. I have more clothes than should be legally allowed. Madelynne counted once because she thought it was ridiculous and she said I had a hundred and sixty pairs of pants. A lot more shirts. So running out of clean clothes is never an issue, but running out of underwear is... no matter how many you collect at some point you are going to run out of all of them... and then... well yes then... and you don’t have the money to pay the launders bill just yet because you need it for food... LOL... o.k. so brainstorming with the incomparable Zeke Ziskin the other day about your options in this situation. number one you can just go underwear-less for a while. which is fine except chances are you’ve been wearing the same pair of jeans a few weeks so that's not usually a good idea. for obvious reasons. You can attempt to wash your underwear in the shower with you. I think that's the best plan. And then let it hang dry. Lets face it, its never going to be as clean as you would like but probably better than free-balling in the same pair of jeans for a week. you can take the least dirty pair and spray the hell out of them with Lysol disinfectant. That's worked for me before. you can even wrap yourself with a few sheets of paper towels down there if you want. That could do the trick. But then they're going to get all crunched up and sweaty and by the end of the day forget about it.

Last screening: the last king, history of Charles the II of great Britain. Got out the English history book to follow along. What a crazy scene the whole monarchy/king and queen thing is. what a bunch of murderous thieving lying monsters they all were. All just to hang onto power.

I'll tell you, we have three missions while we are here: to rid the world of dishonest governments, monarchies and dictatorships, and religions from having any power over any people on earth.

Current spin: vhs or beta, new one. on astralwerks. Good stuff. in line with the recent early- eighties renaissance along with franz Ferdinand and modest mouse.