I found this in my private diaries from mid-December but it had not been posted:
“The other day getting out of the subway on 23rd St.. I was so depressed I decided to kill myself, but something stopped me. I don't remember what... something I saw or thought of made me forget... and here I am... still alive...”

Well that's good. I am glad I am still alive. If I would have killed myself then, I would probably be reborn by now and be a little baby somewhere, who knows where... yeah. I'm glad I'm still me in this life. there is plenty of time in this life to kill one’s self. I'll wait.