Well we aren't rock and roll icons yet. there is a real major label buzz about the band right now, but word is that even though some of them passionately love our music they have a concern that our lead singer is too old. We told them that I would stand behind the stage and sing and we would put Bloopy who is only 22 years old out in front and let him pretend he is singing. Haha. imagine being at the peak of your career and being told that you are too old at the age of thirty. Fucking crazy. but we are venturing onward. Feeling rightfully so that we are making the best music of our careers.

You see things here...

There was the 45 year old Turkish woman, big breasted, dark eyes, dark hair, smoking a cigarette, who sat down next to me on a bench in front of the CBS building and asked me if I wanted a “massage and some companionship.” We talked some more. I told her no thank you, that I was meeting a friend in a few minutes to play a board game. This was true. But I took her number. Talk about a fantasy she would be. I've never had Turkish. So this is must when I get the time.

The lady all dressed up in black pantsuit swaggering down the sidewalk totally wasted. Like any minute she was going to stumble over and fall face first onto the ground and never wake up. she was mumbling to herself very grumpily. Just totally wasted.

This girl standing on the corner at union square crying, just a little girl, maybe 18, ‘can any of you please spare some loose change. The guys in my band shied away from her but I came up to her and asked her are you having a bad night and she said yes a very bad night. I took out a ten and gave it to her. it was all I had. aren't you broke man my bandmates asked me. I am now I answered. I then hugged her and reminded her to pray to ask God for help and he would help her. it stayed with me all night. the desperation on her face. The pure sadness.

it reminded me of when I was a young struggling artist. Although I was never hooked on any major drugs like she obviously was I was still totally down and out and I know that God has infinite compassion and understanding for whoever we are and where ever we are in our lives. He knows and he accepts and he is always there for us ready to pull us out when we are ready.

The seven year old kid who knocks on our apartment door for a half hour while we are trying to sleep. Finally he just walks in and goes up to the edge of my bed. He wakes me up I swear to go I don't even know this kid and asks me if I play the guitar. I say yes in complete shock. He then asks me if I will teach him guitar. I politely tell him that yes I will but that he will have to wait till we wake up. that musicians sleep very late in the day and that it is better if he doesn’t just walk in to strange apartments like that. crazy. only in New York.

There is the garbage issue here too that is totally out of the twilight zone. Today I received a ticket for improper disposal of my garbage because some garbage cop assumedly found 1 can and two plastic bottles in a clear plastic bag rather than a blue or black bag.

So you can’t throw away cans bottles or plastic or glass or aluminum of any kind. O.k. that's actually cool if you can figure out where to get these special bags from. But you also cannot throw away cardboard boxes either. So my apartment is filling up with them. these big boxes. Because supposedly you have to tear them apart and then flatten them and then tie them up with string or twine whatever the hell that is. and where the hell are we supposed to buy that from.... this place is nuts.

A camera, I need a video camera around me and on me at all times here. the rest of the country will never believe what it is like here. it is a world all its own.

I just received this. Cool. We can house some protestors at our place for sure. I don't understand this whole thing fully. Nor do I fully understand why “we” should be against the WTO or the World Bank or the IMF or any of the other things that really cool people in the know are supposed to be against. I don't mind admitting it. try as I might, and I spend hours a day researching and studying things in general, its hard to get to know all the issues that are affecting us. the war on Iraq was an easy one. [Or was it?] this FTAA meeting coming right into our own backyard has made it very hard to ignore. All the better. Everyday I think about it. what the bigger picture is, what are we really here for. Besides just the fun and the money and the glamour and the friends and the art and of course our own survival—even say just family--- what are we really here for? (think of people like Gandhi or mother Theresa or ram Dass and then I start to get a better understanding of what resonates with me in answer to this question---I think people like bono and sting and peter Gabriel and Neil young are also onto it—kind of a combination of non-apologetic self service and gratification and service to others (the people that are running stars edge, the admin arm of Avatar, really took it in a direction that I didn't agree with or couldn’t relate to fully in the last few years with the introduction of the whole ‘selfless service to others’ concept. For me, I believe that it has to be a healthy combination of both. YOU have to be happy first, like just totally fucking selfishly happy, and I swear to God what starts happening is that you just automatically start reaching out all around you helping people.) Most recently....

Subject: urgent needs - housing/floors, young (and old) FTAA protestors
>Date: Sat, 15 Nov 2003 18:46:28 EST
>
>HELLO! Can you please forward this to your email lists -- very important and
>EXTREMELY TIMELY. -
>*****
>Hello. The FTAA meeting is coming to town -- and so are the "protestors" --
>who are here to protect worker's rights, the environment, our water (which is
>up for sale), and helping make sure people have a say in their own destiny.
>(They are not ALL here to "break windows!!" ). They envision a world of "fair
>trade" not just unaccountable-for "free trade." The city has done a great job
>of making it difficult for CHURCHES who normally open their doors to these
>mostly young folks to have a place to sleep. As such, there is a MAJOR housing
>crisis. If you can help with a floor, a backyard - anything, seriously
>anything.... one night will even do... please call citizens trade at
>
>ALSO, so you are comfortable, you can choose what kind of activist you want--
>there are kids coming down from college in Vermont, Texas, Portland - and
>even older activists, union workers, farmers.... You can even specify
>boy/girl/yoga-life/vegetarian/peaceful/gay/lesbian/etc! .... PLEASE help if you can.
>This is a SERIOUS, urgent need. (And could be fun for you too! - plus a way to
>take part, take action.) I have met many of these young activists and have been
>completely moved and inspired.
>
>(You can see some of the postings on http://stopftaa.org/housing.php but
>PLEASE also call citizens trade (I am not sure how updated that site it). But you
>can see the range of folks looking for places, and speaking from their
>hearts.)
>
>If you are not already informed about the FTAA (which you may be!), please do
>like I am and learn more about these vital issues - at mobilizemiamiftaa.org
>or ftaaimc.org.

Receiving more and more emails and calls for free stuff from radio stations. Sleep with you is starting to bubble. They want posters, cds for on air giveaways, T-shirts, stickers. And they're playing the hell out of the new CD. some of them. Its awesome. I am starting to understand something about it. I think that a lot of people in the indie side of the music biz don't understand how it works so there are a lot of myths that are perpetuated about the ‘local’ or ‘indie’ level. And they are perpetuated by a lot of the major players too. Its not just the indies that think all this. there is this idea that a band needs to break out of their town or ‘create a big buzz’ in their hometown and then branch out regionally and then eventually will get national attention or better yet attract the interest of a major who will then be able to give them national attention. So there is this whole creed and then methodology to how to do this. this is what we can call the Dave Matthews or the Marylyn Manson or even good charlotte approach. And this approach does work.