I talk to so many of my friends who struggle with the day to day. how to make it happen... it’s all about momentum I think. results create momentum and momentum leads to more results.

Johnny Carson died last night... Johnny Carson was the last of the old lions.

I must stop the diaries to simply take notes to use the material for plays and novels and screenplays etc. I spend countless hours journaling needlessly instead of writing. I am producing nothing except thousands of pages of my own life’s story, as purposeless as it is. It is utterly meaningless I am afraid. I must start taking the material and drawing on it to use for fictional works that I can profit from. How? When? The process? Just know I have to do it. But how...

Back in nyc. The city is covered in snowy white. How absolutely warm and cozy and comforting the snow is. two feet of it perched upon my window sills and piled high all around our city streets. winter has finally arrived and what a great feeling it is indeed. Snow is such a magical substance. If God ever does turn out to exist, then snow will most certainly turn out to be one of his most subtle but greatest gifts to us.

Last screening: the aviator. So Leo is growing up. and continues to be a fine actor. Totally in the zone on this one. he embodies Howard Hughes. But the film I found boring and uninspiring. I hate to be the one who’s volunteering to get snowballs thrown at him in the play yard but scorcese really seems to have lost his touch. This movie is just lifeless EXCEPT for the actors. The actors make this film. Leonardo and cate blanchett are great. [God would I love to spend a week with her]. But the film lags behind them. slow meandering predictable and oftentimes seemingly meaningless but for Leo’s fine performance.

Today it was 20 degrees here. so cold you can’t really walk outside without feeling very uncomfortable. No taxis to be found. That's when they make all their money. your legs feel it first. You notice that your legs are actually cold. Hence long johns, or long underwear. Then it hits your face. Your nose and your ears start hurting. Snowboarding in the cold every year for a few days is one thing. but living in this day after day for months straight is another. People assure me that this is nothing, very mild compared to what we are going to get in January and February and march. I am still in shock I think that people actually live this way. I keep finding myself asking myself if one can say that ‘why do people live like this? don't they know about warmer states?’ but the big apple is the big apple. As the Stallion reminds me all time, when we are speaking that is, ‘hey its Gotham. Where else are you going to live Fishy?’

Last screening: the jack Paar collection. This is the collection of the best of the old jack Paar show from the early sixties. Life was SO different. He was the host of the tonight show before Johnny Carson who was before Jay Leno. And you always hear these men who came after him speak of him with such reverence and esteem, like he's just this awesome person that they hoped one day to be like. And you really see it when you watch him. What an intelligent well mannered and well spoken man. I am studying him right now because of our own show. Studying anything I can get my hands on really. Getting in on the old and the behind the scenes stuff. I must say I have really enjoyed this series. Interviews with all of these wonderful old stars who have now long since passed on, the likes of Richard Burton, Bette Davis, bill cosby, Judy garland, and this amazing person by the name of Robert morley from the UK who has got to be one of the wittiest men I have seen or heard.

Watching jack Paar the last week has revealed to me how much our country has changed over the last forty years.