I am in such a transition right now!!! oh my God. It is crazy. but so much fun. [God I talk, or at least type, like a fucking girl.] I really have no idea what I am doing here right now. I feel totally out of water. Its exhilarating. If not a bit stressful. But you know I just have this exhilarating feeling and this ability now to feel so confident and good about stuff. so I feel great about it even though I don't feel comfortable here anymore. But I am o.k. with feeling uncomfortable. You know? 

[o.k. I've come from the future. This is where I would say Fishy has jumped completely off the deep end. He feels good. he feels bad. He feels good to feel bad. Just out of his fucking mind at this point.]

Noticing my Italian slowly getting sucked up by the Spanish you are forced to speak incessantly here in Miami. Even though I cannot remember any Spanish. Its crazy. I am speaking Spanish with tons of Italian thrown in and vice versa. Pretty soon no one will be able to understand a word I speak in any language. I will be this human monkey in a cage in a laboratory. Who is he? Any idea yet? no not yet. he is mumbling in what sounds like several languages all at once. Totally incoherent. We cannot make any sense of him. Right now it feels like a circus in my head. 

It is impossible to watch the news or the TV here in America. It is just too much. What a different lifestyle. Watching the media of almost any kind makes me feel sick. I cannot articulate it well enough in words as to what exactly the problem is. I wish I could. It feels very uncomfortable doesn’t it? Like everyone is trying really hard but no one is really saying anything here. As if they are all just pretending. Pretending to know stuff, pretending to be reporting on something that is important. It really comes off very fake. There really is news happening in the world. I know because for the last two months I would hear about it. But here the first thing you see when you power up your PC is a picture of Madonna and Britney kissing. And this is America’s news now. It’s really amazing isn't it? [I'm not saying that two chicks kissing is a bad thing. In fact, it’s a pretty nice thing. But when its two heterosexual chicks doing it just to try to be controversial and hype themselves more and more like they are always doing in front of us—these are like the same kinds of antics we put up with from the same type of people in high school if you know what I mean—I mean its one thing if its two lesbians right? But when its just two greedy and desperate attention vampires trying to get more attention all the time by doing crazy stuff to try to freak people out, no matter what they exploit, then its just kind of nauseating. And I guess this is what it feels like a lot of the time now here in the states, at least as life is portrayed in the media. Like its just a free for all for people who are trying to attract attention to themselves no matter what they do or what they exploit and it is almost as if there is not much attention paid to the actual product anymore. (except of course that I am still a big fan of Madonna’s music—I still think she is making great albums—but why she still feels the need to pull these sophomoric stunts I don't know. its cheesy and it makes it hard to take her seriously.) 

There is really something wrong here. Bill Maher talked about the MTV VMAs  tonight on his show. Said it was a horrible message we are sending to the rest of the world as to what freedom or democracy means. Its all just greed and sex. Which is what I have been saying the last few weeks months. Its really weird how it changed really huh? It was like overnight the whole music biz just fell into the toilet. [man I loved getting turned on to so much cool music like Beyonce, and Jay Z and the new Justin Timberlake tunes, cause I don't listen to that kind of music as much as other types and its all so fresh and exciting. I really get off on it.] But I have to agree with Bill. The VMAs were gross and kind of disturbing. The whole music scene in America right now is gross. That's the new America. Again, I cannot put my finger on it. it is just a feeling. It feels as if some kind of clutches of apathy have gripped the entire country. Its like everyone’s idea of what cool is is all messed up. a bunch of guys who can barely speak a full sentence of English walking around bragging about being pimps is a song? No seriously. It really is. While a bunch of half naked chicks dance around like zombies on the stage. Even Chris rock made a comment about it. “...and today is the anniversary of martin Luther kings famous ‘I have a dream speech. Well if he could see us now!” I agree. I don't think that's what the King had in mind for his black brothers and sisters when he had this dream he talked about. Hey I'll be the last one standing to defend their rights to sing about and dance around and act like and exploit being “pimps” and “thugs” and “gangstas” and “sluts” and “nymphos” and all this other crap they’re so into now, cause God knows that's their right and I love that about us. it’s a free country.

But that doesn’t mean I think its cool. In fact I think its kind of degrading and sad. Its just such a weird message to be sending to people. Not only to the kids of the world but I don't get why they want to send that message to themselves. (and the irony is not lost on me that our new album is called ‘sleep with you’ from the song of the same name which for the most part is nothing more than a blatant plea for free unbridled gratuitous and casual sex with the entire female population. So yea.... we’re all fair game.) It feels as though it happened sometime in the last two years or so. Something slightly nauseating and insidious. It is as though there is always a need to have a big show. Rather than just live and experience life as it is. it seems like flash is now desired more than beauty. Or brains. Brains. God. Remember brains? Wow. Just saying the word.... and beauty. Remember beauty? Real beauty? Not these tarted up little ghetto sluts that dominate pop culture today, But real beauty? Inside and out? Seriously. What the hell is happening here? where the hell did all the beautiful and smart people go? 

And its affecting my work too. I am so horrified by all of it that I have found it almost impossible to start working at hyping the new CD we just worked our asses off on, because I feel so diametrically opposed to the way things have been going in the industry—with all the hype and flash and bs. So it makes me cringe when I think of doing any hype at all to promote our new album. we just have to throw it out there and see how it floats. Cause I'm not going the way of hype with this one. it means too much to me. 

I think that art can still exist in America. I just don't know if the people realize it anymore. The mass media companies that control what we see and hear certainly don't remember it. and so the people just take whatever they are dishing out. 

[This is just a side note but I am remembering this now that I am typing here. I'm driving on this train with a chick from England and a chick from Spain and of course the beautiful Giovanna from Rome. And she asks me, “What do you think of the music now in America? We want to hear what you think about it since you are american...” and I’m like “why? We’re making some great music now.” and Giovanna says “well we don't think so. We hear the music that is popular now in America and we wonder how you all can listen to it. When we read the lyrics, we think who is listening to this music? It is music for fools...” I heard her. And I stared out the window. I was thinking, “wow so this is what they are thinking of us now over here. I thought maybe it was just me.” and Montsy from Spain says, “All the music that is popular from America now is just about sex and money. Where is your good music gone to? does everyone listen to that stuff?” (I am deliberately leaving out the names that were brought up in this conversation because I don't want to offend anyone). I told them, “the truth is that there is still a lot of great music being made in the states now. Maybe more than anywhere else. its just that its not popular anymore. And what is popular right now in our culture you are right just really sucks. 

I just didn't realize that the rest of the world was aware of it. We've got a lot of great groups and a lot of great singers and songwriters but they are like underground now, because the popular stuff is all the kid stuff. And yea all they are singing about is sex and money. But this isn't necessarily all of America. Its just those people....” I heard myself but I don't know if even I believed me. Let alone them. Are we really that fucked up in America right now...?” I thought. I mean remember when we were kids and we would hear about these predictions about the fall of America just like the roman empire and America would get really crazy and gross and filled with sin and all that... I never believed it actually. Sounded like a bunch of crap. but if its not true, would some smart beautiful people stand up and say all this offensive gross stupid and violent stuff that is crammed down our throats all the time is just a dream and its now going to end? unfortunately I don't think it is going to happen. not now. not in the mainstream.]

Check it out:

On this page you can find a lot of good stats on guns in America. And on school shootings etc. two of the last major “random serial shootings” in America—the Arizona man and the DC sniper---were both Gulf War vets. Maybe they are trying to tell us something or probably they are just messed up from the chemicals they were using against the Iraqis. 200,000 veterans of the gulf war still suffer from untreated war-related "syndromes." And 8,000 veterans suffer from "mysterious" symptoms that are similar to those observed in Iraqi children who were either born in or lived in areas where our forces used depleted uranium against the civilians.

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2002/10/03/national/main527553.shtml

Current Spin: ivano fossati, his newest one lampo viagiatto. its awesome.