I have finally reached that next big step with the language. Last night. it is one of those milestones when you are learning a foreign language. I now understand most of what I hear, but cannot speak as well I would like to. Whereas up until this point I spoke much better than I could understand. For truly anyone can take a few weeks and learn to sound good speaking in a foreign tongue. Actors do it all the time for films. but this doesn’t mean that you can understand or really communicate in the language. So normally because I have such a good ear I can learn to speak in a few weeks and because I speak so well everyone thinks I understand what they are saying and really I don't understand a damn word they are saying. but now its switched and I understand what's going on but I just can’t communicate like I want to. I still form my sentences wrong almost every time. It is very frustrating. We have six verb tenses in English. There are fourteen to learn in Italian. And with each verb and each tense there are six different conjugations of that verb. So you want to learn how to say “learn” you have 84 different words for it depending on who is learning and when they are learning. Ridiculous. But true. you have to remember all of them. So yes I still sound like Tarzan. I told my teacher ‘wait till you learn English. The verbs are easy. In fact it can’t get easier. But wait till you try learning to read, spell, or pronounce. You’re fucked in English if you aren't raised speaking it. Take the word ‘foreign’ or ‘tongue’ or ‘garage’ off the top of my head for instance, and there are millions of them. Impossible to sound out phonetically. That's the hardest part to learning English. Luckily in the Latin languages we don't have that problem. You don't need flash cards or anything. You just say it like it looks. 

Don't know why I am so shy still. I really fucking hate it. Especially when I am in a foreign country when I don't speak so well. I find it very hard to speak up and say hello to people. I really hate this and want to change it about myself. I have to start with baby steps and just start trying to start more conversations with people or at least say hello. I spend so much time alone because of this shyness. People think I am outgoing, which is funny. Because I am not. Too serious all the time. need to loosen up and lighten up and open up more.