Woke up this morning to a fucking madhouse of a city. we are in august. This is THE MONTH when Italy goes on vacation. the whole country literally shuts down. And guess where they all go. the beach. And what else? this weekend is a fiesta. Of course. Italy has a fiesta every two weeks I think. this one is for the Madonna della Pescatore. So it has something to do with the virgin Mary protecting or saving the fishermen. Like I said they have a holiday for everything. at one time in its hey Rome had over 300 holidays per year. Today its not much different. So I wake up to find out that I don't have a room tonight. No prob. I hop in a cab and tell him to find me a hotel. Once I tell him I am American he is dying to know why I am here. this is a very small little town. Not even in my rather extensive discovery travel guide. And you can’t find it on most maps. So I'm like the only American within a hundred miles. This is a place where Italians come to vacation on the beach together. And finding a hotel was very difficult. I told him I was here to see the area where my great grandmother was from. he opened right up. we drove around for an hour or so. He checked every hotel for me. the guy was SO nice. everyone here knows him. he would get out of the cab and go in and find out for me. he told me all about the area and the people. everyone here is so friendly. Way nicer than the cities like Florence or Rome or anywhere in the north where they are a bit more cautious and jaded. Super sweet.

We find a hotel finally so then he takes me to rent a motorbike. And then I'm off. So fresh and cool with the breeze from the ocean on my face. It is like heaven here. right on the western coast. Just beautiful. the actual town my family is from is called Itri. This is a hidden town between two sets of little mountains. So I had to ride about twenty minutes up these mountains to get there. I stopped and took pix when I saw something cool. 

When I saw the sign that said that I just pulled into Itri I have to say that I just felt so amazing. I had planned this trip for so long. And spent so much time doing research and waiting for data to come back from the researcher who I had hired. So this was awesome driving this scooter into the little towns city limits. I stopped at this little bar and told them who I was. And this place feels like it’s a hundred years ago. you know. like five hundred years ago. And all the buildings and little alley ways are from like 1100 and 1200 AD and they are still up and people still living in them. so these people look at me like I'm some kind of a freak. America?! Wow! What the hell are you doing here? I told them our last name was Agresti. They all laughed. They opened the phone book and showed me that there were like fifty Agrestis in the small town. They said it has been a popular name for centuries in the town. It really felt like a home coming. I took a few pictures of everyone and off I rode. They were all very nice to me in a very old world kind of way. I felt like I was back hundreds of years ago in this town.

Then I decided to drive up and down the mountains through all the little roads, both paved and dirt. I drove through huge fields of vineyards of grapes. And everywhere I looked there were amazing views of rolling hills and mountains and farm land. Houses stacked up really high on top of each other all over the mountain side. I drove up and down the highway and towns for hours. My heart kept opening. I experienced a happiness I have never felt. I was in Itri. In 1896 my great great grandfather gaetano Agresti sailed to New York from Itri. They had lived here for centuries. He had with him a little daughter named Amalia. Who eventually had my grandmother. When she was only 14 years old and many other children as well. We are not sure when Amalia met and married my great grandfather Cesare. Our research is showing that perhaps they may have even met on the boat when Amalia was just 9 years old. They didn't stay in America for long. They came back and lived in Parma where Cesare was born and then moved to Milan where he attended the famous music conservatory there. eventually they did move back to the states. That's how my mom was able to be born in the states obviously. 

So all this is going through my head as I am driving through some of the most beautiful peaceful and sweet smelling country I have ever seen. I started reciting these incantations while I was riding around on the scooter up and down these little roads. “my heart is opening. My heart is opening for all of my ancestors. My heart is opening for my descendents. For my children and for my grandchildren. Our hearts are opening from me being here.” I would take in these huge deep breaths of their clean country air. And I just felt fantastic. Then I went to another bar talked to some more people. had some more coke. And looked in all the faces. I called my mom and bro but they were still sleeping in the states. They don't seem as interested in this trip as I am. I think they are satisfied with being in the states and being American, and don't care that much about the past. Which is totally understandable. they don't seem to have the same passion about visiting all the towns where our family is from. but for some reason for me it feels very very important. It feels like a must. Something I have to do. I don't know why. but after today I have an idea. 

[My father too for some reason. When I started this mission a year ago, he didn't even know where his parents were from for sure. He had inklings but most of them were wrong. wasn't even sure what his mom’s real name was. This is beyond my comprehension. But then again, we’re all different. Different motivations in each life. one mans mission is another mans waste of time, etc.]

Today felt so important to me. like something major in my life. I could feel my family’s presence here. I know that sounds crazy. I was born over 100 years later. But I could feel this place inside of me. I felt so at home. I felt so at peace. I felt like I could just park and sit in some field and be there. I don't know why or how this is. I just know what I felt. I believe that perhaps it is in the dna. If I am made of my parents and them of their parents etc then some of the atoms in me still remember Itri. Still retain a memory of living in this town. That is a more scientific theory. Or perhaps from a more metaphysical perspective, perhaps as an artist I have a sensitivity that can feel beyond this lifetime into the past of my family line. possible? Sure. But perhaps it isn't just me. perhaps this same thing would happen to anyone. Perhaps it is just something we can feel because it really is inside of us. this cellular memory of our family line. I think that is it. 

The rest of the day I spent on the beach. Getting totally fried. 

The Canadian girls called me last night from Frankfurt and sang me a song they have been writing about their trip. Told me all about the sound of music tour and Austria and Germany. They are so cool. Must go see Canada. 

[last night I came into town at night. totally dark. Took the bus. Didn't know where I was and didn't know my way around. Ate at a very quiet restaurant. Asked where everything was happening and got a few recommendations but found nothing cool. Today I rode all over this town and the one below it and the one above it. and there is stuff going on all over the place. tons of little cool places where people are hanging out. But last night where I was it just seemed so quiet. It just goes to show that sometimes things are right under your nose but you just don't know it. you just have no way of knowing it. reminds me of that story of the old guy who was drilling into that mountain for like twenty years looking for gold and he always found little bits here and there but not the big payload he just knew was there somewhere. On his death bed he told his son that he could just feel it. his son went into the cave they had dug into that mountain and within month he found the biggest one time gold find up until that time so far ever. He had to drill less than a thousand feet. And there it was. You just never know.]