Ambasciatore says:

You there?

G2 says:

Yes

Ambasciatore says:

I JUST Got to the new office. I was at the old office all day. :

G2 says:

fo shizzle dizzle

Ambasciatore says:

This is wild. a virtual office. I am going to try to do this in the design district.

Ambasciatore says:

With our building. its awesome

G2 says:

YESES

G2 says:

Brilliant

G2 says:

Your best of the year

Ambasciatore says:

I walk in with my laptop and I plug into an Ethernet cable and I'm online like WHAM! And I have my own desk and phone.

G2 says:

Can you pull enough $$ for the mortgage out of small rents?

Ambasciatore says:

It’s brilliant here. copy machine and fax machine included.

Ambasciatore says:

Hell yes. This guy charges 500 a month for this desk plus about 70 for phone and Internet.

G2 says:

Is it clean, modern & neat or messy and old like 119

Ambasciatore says:

Sorry on the phone. It is clean

Ambasciatore says:

Modern. South Beach.

G2 says:

Sweet

G2 says:

If I were you I’d put some money into 119

Ambasciatore says:

What a fucking concept

Ambasciatore says:

Yea I know.

G2 says:

Make it modern

G2 says:

Clean

G2 says:

People are willing to pay

G2 says:

Make it like GTC

G2 says:

Cheap but clean

Ambasciatore says:

It’s an idea---rather than rent out the whole floor just rent out the little spaces

Ambasciatore says:

Sb

Moved into a new office today. Sharing space with a bunch of other people. Just a place to go to sit and work everyday rather than my old office. Sitting in this huge office space with like fifty other people---everyone doing their own thing. Strange. I told the guy I would try it for a few days. I can tell its not my thing. My current office, the one I've had for the last few years, is over a thousand square feet. I have a driving range and a basketball hoop in there. I can listen to music really loudly while I work. So coming into this kind of environment is a huge change. But anything just to keep making progress towards a complete transition. I figure I will only need an office for a few months so it has been hard trying to find some place that will lease for less than a year. But now I am dead set on moving to new York this year and not waiting any longer. So I just need a place to come everyday and work on promoting the new album and plan the move to NYC. I'm not good at working from home. Never have been. Makes me feel weird.

At dinner tonight Bas says, “God I have been witness to such monstrosities by the women the last few years since I have been here."

“What do you mean?”

“Just the girls down here. They are so different. They are like nothing else around America. They are just so harsh. So ghetto.” 

“I think what you mean is that they’re fucking sluts man,” I say.

“Exactly. And that's the way we like em,” says Ferret.

“I just can’t believe the things that come out of their mouths or the things they do. And I think its rubbed off on us. I think we’re all monsters now.”

“Speak for yourself man,” I say. “I'm still the same. Last night the Artisan was telling me I reminded her about manners and being a decent human being in a world full of scum. Face it man. It’s not just Miami. It’s the whole fucking country. Its going down,” I say. “Look at this shit with Madonna and that little tramp of the month... what's her name.” 

“Britney.”

“Exactly. Look at that shit. Its like ancient Rome all over again. Women are afraid to be women now. All these stars think that they're going to be more popular if they turn into sluts.”           

“I don't even know what you guys are talking about,” Ferret says holding up his hands in disbelief.

“They’re beasts man!” Bas screams. “Don't you see it?! Their complete lack of manners and decency?! Haven't you ever been to the northeast and seen how girls are supposed to act?! Fuck me! Why can’t you see what is happening to the girls man?! Why are they all such sluts now?!”

“Yea but we sure have a good time! I'll tell you that,” Ferret says and keeps eating. 

 “Dude, here's the deal. The chicks these days. They just want to be sexy. That's all. Its like they’ve lost their sexiness. So now they're all just trying to be sexy,” I take a bite of steak. “Goddamn this steak is good. You want some?” 

“I'll wait till you finish,” Bas says. “But why do they all think that being sexy is about being slutty? Why can’t they just act like girls and realize that they are sexy just being girls?”

“Bro. Look at the TV man. Look at the movies. They're programmed that way. No one wants to say it’s anyone's fault, but it’s someone’s fucking fault. They’re fucking programmed to be sluts if they want to be pretty or sexy. And it’s just as bad for us. All our lives we’re taught that as men we always get the girl. Every fucking movie, the guy gets like five girls. And every fucking TV show the guy gets a new girl. So we think that our masculinity revolves around us getting laid by lots of different girls. So five ten years into a marriage any normal man freaks out because he realizes he's only fucked one woman for the last ten years and he doesn’t feel like a man. So what do we do? we go and fuck some more women.” 

“Maybe you go and fuck more women. I just think about it,” Ferret comments. 

“No seriously. I'm a fucking wreck as a man. I've been thinking about this lately. I want nothing more than to settle down with a beautiful wife and have kids but I live in constant fear, almost panic, that the next girl I'm with could be the one. I'm praying for it, but at the same time, I'm praying that she's not it. Cause if she is, I'm fucked. It means she's going to be the last girl I get to fuck. And you know what that means...”

“Yea. You fucking leave some girls for the rest of us to fuck. Its about time man.” Ferret screams.

“No seriously. I'm serious. When I think of never being able to fuck another girl. That newness. That excitement. I freak out. My whole body tenses up. It’s awful. Could we die from that you think?”

“We all have that. Face facts man. That's life. You're a man,” Bas shouts.

“Yea but dude this is what I'm talking about. Who says this is what a man is? That’s what I want to know. I think it’s all just programmed into us from the fucking media when we’re growing up. We see these guys on TV who only fuck their wife and they’re always so wimpy and sweet and silly. You know, they’re always doing whatever their wife is telling them to do... Like your dad Ferret.” 

“Ah hah. Your fucking dad is a pussy man,” Bas says.

“You better shut the fuck up man,” Ferret shouts, his mouth full of food.

“Dudes check it out. And then you see these guys on TV that are really cool like James Bond or whatever. And they're always single and they always get a different girl on every show. That's what being a cool guy is all about. Like a rock star. You know?”

“Its genetic too Fishy. Face it. We are men. We’re born to fuck. And we’re born to fuck a lot of women.”

”Yeeeeaaa booooy. You can say that again.” Ferret says and high fives Bas.

“Well I don't know. When I was with Cleo, I was very happy not to be with other women. No problem. So I don't know about that. I really didn't feel this genetic thing be with other women.” 

“Maybe that's because you had already slept with like a thousand girls. You ever think about that?"  

“Yea. You probably just got it out of your system already.”

“Perhaps. God this steak is fucking great man.”   

“Fishy.”

“What my brother?”

“Do you think that what we have turned into this because of being around them for so long or is it just a reaction to them?”

“Turned into what?”

“Into pigs. We used to be gentlemen. Since we have lived in Miami we have turned into monsters...”

”What do you mean?”

“Do you think we can go back to the way we used to be?”

“Dude I still am that way.”

“Yes, but even you. Remember that one time when the Texan thought you were the sweetest most decent well mannered man in all of Miami, and then you got a few drinks in you and you were going off about the fetish parties and she was so shocked she couldn’t even look you in the eye? Remember that? You shocked her.”

“Yea I remember that. Did I really say something that bad?”

“Naaaahhh. You were only talking about fucking some girl in the ass while she was blindfolded.”

“Dude what is it with you and fucking girls in the ass tonight? Give us a break man.”

“So what the fuck Fishy? Are we ruined? Is it over? All the hard work of our parents? Are we beasts?”

“Dude shut up. We’re not all monsters. Ferret and The Tortoise are monsters yes. Because they have always been monsters. They're dogs. As are most men. No offense bro,” I look over at Ferret.

“Hey none taken man,” he says.

“But we’re not. At least I'm not. I'm still the same. And I'm the one who’s in the rock band. I should be the worst out of all of you....”

“Yea what happened to you?” Ferret chimes in.

“You're in a fucking band. You should be the biggest dog. Why are you such a prude anyway?! Going to the opera and shit. Why are you the one that the Texan thinks is such a fancy pants fucking gentleman?” 

“Cause I'm fucking cool. That's why. And I'm polite. And I’m not a prude. I just know what I want.” 

“He’s not a prude. He’s done more than you and The Tortoise will ever do in your entire lives Ferret.”

"No no no. I'm not denying that. Hey he’s the man. But now you don't even sleep with girls. Everytime we go out, you could have any girl you want and you just walk around talking to us. I don't understand that. And you don't even drink. You drink water for God sakes.”

“You’re not there yet dog,” Bas says.

“I gotta hold out for number one now. Man seriously. There are definitely some things I still want to do. Don’t get me wrong. a nice gangbang with like five girls and just me and a few bottles of Champaign would be great. Right?”

“And the Tortoise with his video camera getting it all on film...” Bas says.

“Well of course. That's a given. Ha. But you know, just picking up chicks that I can’t even have deep conversations with and taking them home to do them? Nah. That's not my scene anymore. Its boring and I think now I hate to say, but I think its degrading to me and to them. to humanity...”

“God I hope that never happens to me,” Ferret says.

“Shit at this point I'm even embarrassed to bring a girl home because of Rosanna unless I really like her. She's always giving me these little speeches.”

“Old Rosanna sitting you down man. Like she's your mom or something. You gotta like that...”

“Who’s Rosanna?”

”The housekeeper. She knows. You know. Always tells me stuff. She’s funny.”

 “You fucking guys and your fucking housekeeper!” Ferret yells as if by obligation. Why he’s yelling no one ever knows.

“Bas don't worry about these girls. We’re not turning into monsters. We’re still good guys. But you know, maybe don't go out so much then. Cause you're right. these girls are trash down here. I hate to say it cause I'd love to meet one who wasn't but for the most part its just all money and sex and not knowing how to even speak in complete sentences.”

“Tell me about it man. Why can’t we just meet good nice girls. Like the Canadian girls. They are so nice and sweet and smart,” Bas says, shaking his head.

“But you know, that's Miami. We know that. so if we’re still here then its our fault and no one else's. you want a girl you can take home to mom, go to Boston or Connecticut. But if you want a chick you can take home and fuck in the ass while her friends are getting wasted downstairs drinking with your friends then stay in Miami.”

“That's what I'm talking about booooyyy!” Bas says.

“You are fucking unbelievable. Five minutes ago you were depressed because there were no good girls down here and poor you because you are the perfect gentlemen. Now you're highfiving talking about doing girls in the ass,” Ferret says. “Fucking unbelievable. I don't get you guys at all.”