Dearest Little Bird...

Dearest little bird...

So this is good news then...

Sometimes its important to wait for the time and space to be right for people....

It can really make a difference in how the whole conversation goes...

Obviously this is a subject that is difficult for him. It would be for any man... lets face it.

They lose their wife, their caretaker, their cook, their kids, and their house... AND they have to keep paying for all that stuff even though they aren't getting it anymore.

The men get screwed... as it stands now.... no wonder I have avoided marriage like the plague...

O.k. now that I have gotten that out of my system...

With all that said, you guys still need to do what you need to do. you need to talk. You can’t just stay in a relationship forever that isn't giving you anything.... right?

But remember, once you go there, a lot of times you don't ever come back. I mean, that's it. he starts seeing someone else, you start seeing someone else, you all of a sudden start seeing your differences and before you know it, its really over....

So I think you guys really need to talk. And he needs to realize that you are serious. That the time is now to talk to you and open up to you or that you are going to start to take action....

Let me share with you.... when Naomi decided she wanted us to separate, I floundered forever.... then she would flounder, back and forth.... it was very painful. And sad. We tried to pretend that everything was o.k., still shared together and went out together and all that. but it was ...

When you're younger the woman has all the advantage. The man loses everything and has to pay for everything still for the woman, and then he's out there single again... searching, on the loose...

The woman just needs to go to Starbucks once a day and she’ll have twenty guys asking her out...

The irony of course is when we get older, the tables turn. All of a sudden the woman isn't getting asked out so much anymore, but the guy if he took care of himself and has some of the more obvious accoutrements of wealth, is getting it from all over the place... crazy....

Only you know what to do about all this... 

How many times have you told me that you want to get that spark back with him.... how many times.... I think back on it....

But honestly, if a man doesn’t have it, its pretty hard for him to get it back...

Some men are honest... they can face that. and they can move forward based on how they feel. knowing that they're probably doing the right thing....

While others just try not to think about it. they think of the above scenario and how much they're going to lose in a divorce and they figure that the disastrous effects of divorce are going to outweigh the possible benefits of getting real with how they feel and moving on. So they just accept that they're stuck in a boring unsatisfying relationship. Man how many of us grew up in a house where the parents were like that... just dealing with the same old day after day....

But others of us grew up with parents who were madly in love for years and years and years and their love lasted forever and ever. I had friends who had parents like this. its inspiring.

The question my little bird is do you think you have that potential there anymore? Do you think you can create it? more than anything you just need to talk this out with him. Just let it fly. Really talk it out... and let it out.

Who knows? maybe the pain and separation anxiety may bring you guys together. Maybe the realization that this is really it, that its really over forever, will ignite this passion within you both... and you'll fall madly in love again.... I hope this is what happens..... I really do. I'm a romantic. I want to see it re-flourish. Or else I would have made love to you years ago myself.... Hehe. But I have too much respect and awe for the sanctity of marriage and those precious vows that people whisper to one another in the dead of night... and all those magical moments that two people share in those first few years when they are first together. So man it would just be beautiful if that happened for you all....

But now I can feel where your man is, just grinning and bearing it. just trying to not think about it. its not going anywhere.... that's why you need to stir it up a bit...

Make it work for you. get your life back. get some joy in there. there is nothing more joyful than just pure unadulterated honesty....

I love you. good luck

Sincerely,
me