So the medium said to write. The medium said not to worry and to write. I am still worried. But I will write. What else have I learned? Memories flood in. The lessons peek their heads around the corner when I'm not looking. Here's one. Things usually turn out the way you think they will. Yeah I know. Except when they don't. That’s the other thing I have learned. Sometimes they don't. but a lot of times they just do. Just heard from Metal Guru. Turns out that this guy that we all used to be best friends with back in high school who always acted really gay is now gay and living in NYC as a gay activist. Could have called it fifteen years ago. Knew it since we were kids. Saw it coming from a mile away. With hindsight now, looking back, pretty much every kid that acted gay way back in junior high or high school turned out gay once we became adults. So much for the religious right’s assertion that it isn't genetic but rather a matter of choice. I have a sneaky feeling I know who the next victim of the Blue Mask is going to be. But I won't say. Not now...

So what else? Yes this. This is very important. When someone lies to you or deceives you in any way, even if you don't catch them, but just have the suspicion of it, follow your gut and get them the hell out of your life. don't turn your back to it. no matter what excuse you might give for hanging onto them, don't. it doesn’t matter if they are a friend, or a vital employee, or whatever else you tell yourself to rationalize keeping them in your life, don't. just get rid of them. there is no need to explain it to them. if you were right, they will know, and you will then know instantly that you were right. never settle for it. never. Turn your back on them and walk away. it is the only way we will have a chance at upping the consciousness level on earth. People like this will only change when those of us who are not like this refuse to accept it.

Something else. Never settle for less than what you want. Just because something is o.k. doesn’t make it good. And just because something is good doesn’t make it optimal. I always use to tell Little Ash this back in the day. never settle for less than what you totally totally want. People tell you that you can’t always get what you want, and as much as I love this song, its just bullshit. Most of the time you can get what you want. Not all the time. But most of the time. But one you gotta know what that is. and two you gotta go after it. and three, you have to realize and accept that its alright for you to have it.

Something else. Reach out when you have to. a lot of times when things are fucked people won't reach out. we tend to start to retreat into our own shells, thinking other people are going to judge us or think we’re weird or whatever. but sometimes just reaching out to someone, anyone, can be all you need. the same goes for when you are looking for something. I remember reading this book by Harvey McKay when I was still a teenager. Something about managing your network. He was one of those business gurus who wrote a few books back in the early nineties. This book talked all about building your network of all the people you had ever met in your life and how helpful that could be not just to you but to everyone in your network. As the years passed I saw countless times that he was right. Often times what you are looking for is right under your nose. You just have to call a friend who can call a friend who will call a friend. Its that whole six degrees of separation thing. but remember that theory came about before the Internet revolution. I heard recently that now its more like three degrees of separation between us all.  

Something else. You cannot go back. Sometimes we want to. The temptation is always there. But it never works. I have tried it a few times. Different things. Never works out. I don't think life is meant to be lived backwards. Always moving forward. I think that's just the way its so supposed to be.