There was this bug that flew onto my laptop screen for a moment. And in an instant I blew it off with my breath. How easy that was I thought. How this clueless bugs life is so easily manipulated by me. I bet he doesn’t even know who I am or what I am. He just knows that he got blown off the bright white screen against his will.

When bad things happen to us I wonder who is the big powerful force that is so easily manipulating us as we do to all the little bugs around us all the time? As we get tossed about in this life, what the hell is that force that is just blowing us around?

In one of our philosophy classes in college we had to write a paper on our view of God. now because we were in college we all had a pretty disturbing view of God at the time. I am sure those views have changed over the years. I don't remember what I wrote but I am sure it was some existential or atheistic paper on the utter meaninglessness of life and of the idea of God. but Slim, he wrote this elaborate piece about how we were all these little pawns being subtly controlled and manipulated by ‘the Gods.’ How these mysterious and more powerful beings that we couldn’t see or hear but we somehow knew existed, because we could see the effects of their being all around us, controlled us in so many ways. At the time I didn't see much use in his paper, although our professor at the time loved the paper and rejoiced in its wit and irreverence. I'm still friends with Slim. And sometimes when I look back at that, I wonder if there wasn’t more truth to his exercise than any of us were giving it credit at the time. we were all a pretty cynical bunch of cigarette smoking intellectuals back then. Maybe there are beings more powerful than we are, so much so that we can’t even see them. just huge monstrous beings that only exist in the fourth dimension. Or in another dimension that we can’t see or measure yet... 

In other news, not entirely unrelated, our summer tour of Europe has mysteriously vanished. The material losses that each member has suffered have been devastating. The poet and I stayed drunk pretty much for five days straight trying to talk our minds into the fact that we weren't going to be leaving any day now. today will be my first day sober. Trying to put the pieces back together. our agent has offered no compensation and very few answers. They say that ‘that's just the world of rock and roll.’ Somehow that doesn’t make us feel much better.