Stuck inside Miami with the Europe blues again

Oh boy are we like ghosts floating through the desert now children. Not supposed to be here in Miami. not supposed to be here in America. And yet here we are. The poet and I get together everyday and rehearse new songs for new albums because that is all I can think of to do to keep us inspired during this the greatest of all calamities, the tour that never was.

Our spirits are low and our poverty rate is high. (forgive me, I had to). we have no way to earn for the next few weeks because we didn't book any shows, since we thought we were going to be on tour already. Obviously. We roam the streets wondering if we are dreaming. Mouths hanging open. Perspiration pouring from our brows. Is this Amsterdam? Is this a dream? What the hell is going on? Dude I think we’re still in Miami. what? You mean this isn't Madrid? No dude, I really think we’re still in Miami. but dude, weren't we supposed to be in Barcelona or something by now? yeah. I think so. But this looks like Miami. man I need a drink. Me too.

In good news of course the song Superhero girl was released to commercial radio this week and is doing well. as well as non-commercial music on non-commercial record labels with non-commercial bands can do on commercial radio. We are in a different age now. clear channel owns the airwaves. And ticket master owns the box office. music isn't played by DJs anymore. Its programmed via satellite from one main office. oh if I ever shared with you dear diary the comments from DJs and program directors in our daily reports. How not-into music they are, and how they are just looking for the band with the next big story or the big pocket book behind them regardless of what the band actually sounds like. it is indeed a sorry state. But in all these little pockets all over America are still these raging raving pioneer DJs out there playing music because they like it. we found one in Gainesville and another one in Tallahassee, and a few others in places like Richmond and Omaha. They are out there still. if you are lucky enough to live in one of those areas where you have a maverick DJ and a REAL radio station. They just say fuck what's hot or cool or in or out, and they play it if they like it. good for them. Thanks guys.

I am noticing a feeling overtaking me---ah hah! I have finally crossed the border into the world of “I am not creating it; “its” creating for me!”---in spite of that realization intellectually, its still hard to do anything about it. a good lesson in learning tolerance for others!! ah hah! Anyway, yes this sinking drowning terrifying feeling that all is not well. wow. Its been a long time. welcome home feeling. Its been a long time since this feeling has occupied the space I call myself.

[By the way, before I forget, and before it mysteriously vanishes,
Check out this great speech by Bono at the University of Pennsylvania. 

You can watch Bono delivering his address - from the 1:56 mark - by clicking here]
It vanished. Go to their website. Its good.


A crazy week. this publicist rainmaker publicity up in Boston has fucked us. took our money, won't do any work, and won't take any of the labels or the managers calls. if you google them, which we should have done, you will see that she did this to hundreds of bands all over America. O.k. so we’re idiots. We never even bothered to check... just loved her personality. So now its going to court. And everyone spends truckloads of money to battle it out. it is a real waste of time and energy, all just because someone doesn’t want to earn their keep in the world in a legitimate fashion. I told our attorney in Massachusetts, ‘I don't care what it costs, just crush her.’ So she can’t do this to any more bands. I really cannot believe that people like this exist. I think back on all the times over the last ten years since I have been in business, when someone has screwed us over just because they knew they could. Sometimes people do it whether they think they can or not. Its like they're socipathic or something. and then when you sue them they scream and holler and kick and scream like maniacs like they don't even know why this is happening to them. its really weird and disturbing. Because you can tell that they really don't know what's happening. They get caught in their own deceptive devices as much as their innocent victims.

Between this and the whole tour fiasco, its been a crazy time to be alive in our skin. To make matters worse, I woke up to this radio promoter screaming curse words at me. actually he told me to go fuck myself. We’ll call him Masseratti. Masseratti has a reputation for being a good old boy in the biz. Doesn’t have any big name acts and works the small markets, but generally known as a nice guy. he sends our record label a blaring email because we decided to release superhero girl to alt-rock radio before we released Veronica to adult radio even though we had told them we were going to do veronica pretty soon. it wasn't that we weren't going to release veronica; but too many consultants came in with superhero girl as the first horse out of the gate. So there it was. So he was pissed that he wasn't getting the business. And he sends this pissy email. and on and on. And I question his audacity to come after us who are this obviously very small label and very small band who don't have a pot to piss in and if we’re going to spend twenty or thirty thousand dollars of our own personal money on a chance and a dream like radio then we better make sure it’s the right one. and besides, if they wanted the deal later, shouldn’t he be a bit nicer and cooler? Wasn't it worth it if in the future he was going to land a twenty thousand dollar deal for our second single? But all he could do was start screaming fuck off like some lunatic. Totally unbusinesslike and very ungentlemanly. and yes even in this twisted cursed business that the music business has turned into, I was still slightly taken aback. All I could do in return was send him an email that read: Dear Masseratti, You are a big baby and you should be ashamed of yourself. Love, Fishy

Its just been one of those weeks. What can you say.

So we’re playing with some bigger fish now, swimming in the big kids pool. And it hasn’t been easy. Everywhere you turn when you're a struggling artist there are people who are ready to pounce on you with a big smile and take what they can get from you. the poet tells me ‘man, dude, I hope you're writing all this down so if you ever do this pull this miracle of yours off then you can help other bands do it too...’ I'm like, ‘dude, if I did start writing all this shit down, about what its like in the music business for real, no one would believe me. and if they did, they wouldn’t want any part of it.’ Publicists and video directors, managers and radio promoters, who take the money and run, booking agents who book whole tours that mysteriously don't exist, record company executives who don't want to hear what you sound like but only want to ‘see the numbers,’ radio DJs who will only play your song if the guy next door is playing it or if you give them a thousand bucks a spin, video music channels who will only play your video if they're getting huge money to do so, entertainment attorneys who promise you a record contract if you give them five thousand dollars and then after your check is cleared they don't remember who you are... “what was the name of the band again?” and every time you check your email some company you’ve never heard of is promising you and every other struggling artist on the planet super-stardom for a one time payment of only $89.99. its fucking insane. And I wouldn’t believe it myself if I hadn't experienced personally over the last five years. there's this “consultant” in New York who I've known for years who rents himself out to artists for a ‘consultant fee’ that starts at fifteen hundred dollars, but he’ll never tell you what he's actually going to do for you. he just off handedly mentions a bunch of different things that might happen if things worked out. and this is how he makes his living. He mentions a few big name acts he has or hasn’t worked with and he takes the artists’ money and who knows what the hell happens. I've known him for ten years now and never heard of anything big coming out of it for anyone. Like I said, its fucking unbelievable. But that's the business.

But still, I told myself as I was driving home tonight with the wind blowing through my hair and Cyndi lauper belting out some old standards on her new CD, I still believe in this. I still believe in rock and roll. I still believe in that feeling I got when I first heard the Strokes or the Thrills or the Vines or Rufus. I still believe in it when I walk into the house and Bas has his new Ours CD cranked up to 11. or when we went to see U2 in three different cities on their last tour because it was so fucking amazing and life affirming. Somehow, in some miraculous way, some good music still manages to seep through to us. and that's the only thing that keeps me going these days. it’s the music.

Current Spin: the carter family singers, Best of. Going all the way back to the thirties and forties this does. Real Americana music. in our never ending attempt to explore every album ever made we find ourselves knee deep in the heartland on this surprisingly enjoyable 20 song collection of yee haw I've got a broken heart music. but in all seriousness, I love it. especially now after researching the fam and discovering that our American roots go so far back. this is very true true true music. much simpler times.