Dreams were crazy. dreams being nothing more than symbols of our feelings desires hopes fears etc, I don't pay much attention to the facts or figures of dreams, just the underlying meaning. Last night we saw a boy in front of my supposed house, which at first I didn't even know, in the dream, was my house. he was loading a bunch of gear into a duffle bag. Whoever I was with, I don’t know him, yelled to me, look, he is stealing all of your stuff. I didn't pay any attention to this. we continue to talk. A few minutes later they tell me again. I realize maybe there is something to it. I chase the guy down. We run a few minutes. I catch him. it is true. he has this whole bag of my things. he starts pulling them out of the bag one by one. and what's weird he is doing it with total non-chalance, as if its no big deal that he was just stealing all of my things. in the dream, I was thinking, ‘this is so weird. This is just totally twilight zone.’ But when I awoke I knew what the dream was about. And I knew what I need to do about it. sometimes I think I allow too much lenience with people just to not rock the boat and keep things smooth. But you know, that's only one personality type. Other people are totally different than that. they are hardcore always looking out for number one types. I have to pay better attention to maintaining a good balance between the two.

Note to self: Breakfast in your room at the Waldorf Astoria costs a lot; don't eat it there. Breakfast was $36 in my room. and this was just coffee, carrot juice, and muffins. I still feel like I have to throw up from the shock. I have found it impossible to eat from my stomach being so upset. I think they call that sticker shock. I don't think I have ever had it, being as good as I am at over paying for things and not noticing, I am kind of an expert at it, so I never experienced sticker shock before, but this morning was different.

[last weekend Beav and I were discussing buying cars and he tells me how he went into the dealers and did all this negotiating till he got his last car for like 6,000 less than the list price. And I told him how I knew the sticker price and went in and just paid it, totally forgetting to negotiate price. I even knew the cost of each option because I had researched them and just added them all up and said o.k. this car should cost xxx, and paid them. The sales guy was shocked. Beav was like ‘you did what?! What are you crazy?!’ “Dude, I know it sounds crazy, but I totally forgot that we could bargain with those guys about the price. I just gave them what the sticker said on the window.” “Oh my God dude, you need help. Please don't do stuff like that on your own anymore without me or mom being there. please. fuckin A dude.”] 

Eating breakfast in the bathtub this morning, I turned over the silver fork and it says Waldorf Astoria on the back and then below that “made in Korea.” Now how the hell are we supposed to enjoy our meal if we see that on the back of the fork? Imagining all these people in these sweatshops churning out this cheap silver that they just stamp waldorf Astoria. I mean, what the hell does that even mean at this point? I mean why stamp your name on it at all? you obviously didn't make it. you had nothing to with it. its not fine sterling silver or anything you should even be proud of. Its not made in some meticulously hand crafted manner by respected artisans or anything that anyone would give a shit about. Its just a fork made in Korea. And that my friends is what's wrong with this whole outsourcing thing. I'm not expressing myself well here; not enunciating the exact problem with how distasteful the experience was... now granted, Hilton bought the waldorf, so it isn't even very waldorf anymore. Its more Hilton, which is bad enough, and probably why there was so much vacancy there that I was able to get two nights for next to nothing. The Plaza certainly feels like a finer hotel. But still, you expect a certain something there, and as much as I try to, I cannot force myself to enjoy eating on a fork that says made in Korea, if the establishment that is offering you the fork is attempting to put on the air of fineness and quality to everything it does. It just doesn’t click somehow.

Spent a few hours at the macanudo club on 63rd street. A very darkly lit, richly wood paneled library looking bar where mostly men go to smoke cigars and read and work and hang out. I read an excellent article by financial advisor John Maulden there explaining that the reason why self-investors almost always fail is because they grab at the right investments at the wrong time, when they’re on their way up, rather than at the bottom. Ran into liv tyler who was hanging with you know who.

Idiot Fuckheads: a recent ad from Toyota reads: Our blue sky: more US manufacturing jobs, cleaner US manufacturing plants. .... and then ...” Toyota’s US operations account for more than 190,000 jobs...” and then in tiny little barely-legible print at the very bottom of the page, there is this disclaimer. *Toyota components and vehicles are made using many US sourced parts. Direct US employment: 31,040 jobs as of 12/03. Why does everybody have to be a bastard?