Real quick for the record. Two Americans have been beheaded –what this means is that these men in masks throw a tied up and blindfolded man down on the ground, they then take long knives and they saw the mans neck until it comes off. Sometimes they start from the front and sometimes they start from the side. The whole time they are sawing the man is screaming madly, like an animal, the most desperate screams you have ever heard. When the knife gets to the throat or voice box the screams start to change depending on where the knife is; the man is still alive and he is still in dire pain, and his screams start to sound like a pig at slaughter; his body wiggles and struggles as men hold him down and the one man keeps sawing away at his neck trying to get his head off.

This has happened twice this week to us here in America. For those who don't know about it, they go about their days. For those of us who have seen the footage we will never be the same. I am changed inside and outside. I am confused as to what we should do. The president of France said yesterday at the UN meeting that America shouldn’t have attacked Iraq and that by doing so we opened up a Pandora’s box. He then left early and did not stay for president bush’s speech.

Today the president of the United States spoke at the UN. He smiled and posed for pictures. I felt ashamed and disgusted that he could smile at all for pictures because not less than two days ago two innocent Americans had their heads sawed off and it was broadcast all over the world. the families must be so grief stricken that they can probably not take being alive right now. I pray to God they did not see the footage. I do not dislike our president. I respect him. and honestly he seems like a good old boy that you cannot help but dig. But I feel that he needs to be acting more aware of what just transpired. He needs to be in mourning right now in the public eye. He needed to hold a candle light vigil for these innocent victims of his war. He needs to be dressed in black and showing the world that he is taking the losses of this war of his seriously and that it isn't all just business to him.

Kofi Annan has said that the American president broke the law by invading Iraq. And again today after the president spoke he gave a speech that said that now we are seeing laws broken everyday and a complete disregard for the law. Of course he did not specifically mention America, but it was obvious from the attitude he has had about our invading ever since we first started talking about it. The general tone of the UN nations is that the president is a defiant pit bull that goes around doing whatever he wants regardless of public opinion or law. Of course they are right; we have been doing that now for the last fifty years. Ever since we dropped the bombs on Japan. But bush has stepped it up even more now.

Still, as a citizen, I'm not sure if that's not exactly what we need right now to fight all these freaky little terrorist groups that are popping up. I mean, if it comes down to it, maybe we just need to bomb the shit out of every Muslim nation in the world till there are barely any left to attack us; and the thing about it is that bush is probably the best man for that job. You can tell that he wouldn’t be against doing something like that. Like when Truman dropped those bombs on Japan, I forget the exact number and don't feel like looking it up, but I think he killed more than 300,000 people. Japan has been our bitch ever since. And because of that bombing we have things like walkmans and plasma TVs so thank God for that.

Maybe bush and his evil consorts are right. Maybe we just need to kill a lot more Islamic people until we get all the terrorists. We’ve killed over 40,000 Iraqis in this new war. Imagine that. 40,000 people in little under two years dead... frankly I still think my friends and I got it right years ago: take some cool American companies and open them up all over the Middle East. Dell, compaq, Microsoft, American express, McDonalds, and put these people to work. These men are so happy to saw other peoples heads off or fly planes into buildings or drive cars into cafes with dynamite up their bum, all because they think it is going to give them some honor. And you couldn’t talk an American or a German or an English man into that for a million bucks; because we just have too much honor in our hearts already. I mean maybe for a million, but I doubt it. But these people, they just must really not feel a lot of honor inside of themselves, in order that taking these actions for the sake of honor are making them feel so good about themselves.
I don't think they are accomplishing enough with their lives and so they just kind of feel like shit all the time. So this whole “holy war” rhetoric really turns them on, gives them juice in their lives. Man if someone came up to your average American or German or French man and talked about a holy war, he’d probably tell you to fuck off unless you offered him millions, and even then.... he’d find a way around the whole car bomb thing. work it from a different angle and still find a way to make the cash. These guys have to just feel like total shit to be falling for all this Allah/holy war stuff... I mean, God is a groovy thing, you gotta love him, no matter what country happens to own him at whatever time in history you happen to live, but when God starts telling you to cut people’s heads off, maybe its time you started running to the doctors office or the pharmacists... or maybe rethink your God. Like fast. if any voice in my head told me he was God and that I should cut some peoples heads off I would run to the nearest insane asylum and beg them to let me in, tie me up, and drug the shit out of me.

If they want honor, why not open up a business or go work two jobs and make more money or something. Or just live a decent life, and be a good person.... man I cannot comprehend cutting a guys head off and feeling good about it. These guys gotta be fucking high or something. If we talk real and frank about this for a second, sure it sucks to have the big bad white guys invade your country... I mean, lets face it, we’re the evil empire these days. we do what we want, we invade who we want, we bribe, lie, cheat, swindle, borrow, and bully whoever however and whenever we want to, and if I were a Muslim, with all of our crusade history behind us and everything, I would probably feel a lot of hatred towards the western white people. Who wouldn’t? You’d be a fool not to. History is history.

We won the crusades and we've been winning ever since. we replaced their Allah-God with our Jesus-God and now we rule the earth. God, listen to us, we use God like he's some kind of flag or mascot or something...

The fact is that right now we’re the winners. We won some battles and now we’re taking advantage of that fact. So we’re going Hog wild all over the planet doing whatever the hell we want to, flaunting our victories and wreaking general havoc the world over. Hindsight has taught us that for as happy and proud as we are now for how strong and able and great we are, that one day it won't be that way. We’re the winners now. Sure. But one day we won't be. Just as France and England and Spain and Germany are all subordinate to us now when in times past they all ruled the world at one point or another throughout our history. People forget this, and they like to think that America is this great giant thing that is so special and different and will last forever... But we’re just the new flavor of the century and one day someone else is going to come along and be smarter, cooler, stronger, more cunning, more wicked, and have bigger guns and whoop our asses. That's just history. I just hope it doesn’t happen in any of our lifetimes. You know, as long we’re talking frankly here... I'd like to stay on top for as long as we can if truth be told...

Anyway, I can’t shake the images of these poor men who are beheaded for us. I just can’t believe it. I am so horrified that it seems like the images just stay in my mind’s eye all the time. Always in the back of my mind. Poor us right now. Poor world. poor poor us...we are all victims of our own ignorance and brutality.

Lance tells me today that when he hears that hurricane Ivan didn't die but instead rejuvenated itself miraculously and is headed for Texas, and yet another hurricane, now Jeanne, is headed for us here in Florida, and that there are two more brewing out in the Atlantic, that this is indeed the end of the world that they used to teach us about in Sunday school. I'd have to say I agree with him. It sure looks like it. I just hope I make some big money and am able to enjoy it before the world ends. Lol.

No seriously, I just have to say what the fuck good is God if you are cutting peoples heads off? That's what I want to know. if someone told me that if I cut a head off or blow myself up while killing some people that there is a God and that he would send me to heaven and in heaven I would have twelve to 72 virgins attend to my every need (this is a real Muslim belief taken from their bible --- the Koran) the first thing I would tell them is no offense but have you ever slept with a virgin? They aren't exactly experts at their craft if you know what I mean. Give me a more experienced wench anytime. And the second thing I would say to them is ‘what the hell are you smoking if you believe that you're going to blow some people up and then go to heaven and be waited on by a bunch of virgins? I mean, where are their brains? For more details read this article from usa today. It’s really scary: http://www.usatoday.com/news/world/june01/2001-06-26-suicide-usat.htm

How does the rest of civilization find this the most ridiculous notion but these people don't?  Well honestly I can kind of understand it, because all of man’s religions are pretty whacky; I remember this one time in one of the hundreds of Christian schools I went to and got expelled from (I think I broke the record for how many private schools you could get expelled from in twelve years...), this couple who were preachers from some church, traveling around the country speaking, they came in and told us how they had this real life vision of heaven and how glorious God was and how it was like this great big kingdom with all these palaces for everyone... and seriously I'm not even making this up, all the teachers and even the principle of the school started crying “at gods love and mercy for us” and all this joy they felt because of how great heaven was going to be for them when they died.

They really believed this stuff about the kingdom of God. I guess a lot of people do no matter what religion they are. And it makes them do some crazy things. I will never forget that scene in school. I was about fifteen or sixteen. I lost what little respect I had for those teachers and that principle. I was just aghast. I seriously felt as though I was watching something from the twilight zone, all these people in tears thinking they were going to live in mansions and hang out with God in this bright sunny afterlife driving fancy cars and stuff. it was nuts. And for a moment I felt nuts for not crying with everyone or believing any of that crazy story, but I just couldn’t bring myself to. it seemed like the most ridiculous thing I had ever heard. I sat there with my mouth open, half smiling, half laughing, half crying... was I the fool for not believing? Would I ever fit in anywhere? At this same school they wouldn’t let us dance. Crazy, right. A lot like suicide bombers.

I wasn't exactly expelled from that school. I was just politely asked to leave before the second semester started. Maybe that's being expelled. I don't know. I think my parents tried to keep a lot of that from me. Not wanting me to get my feelings hurt. Good for them. It was bad enough that I had just gotten expelled from military academy six months prior. This sergeant comes right up to my face while we are standing at attention and yells in my face “Son, you will never be a good cadet!” and I laughed. I mean, what was I supposed to do? Who the hell wants to be a good cadet if that means some guys with more power than you are going to be bossing you around and yelling at you all the time? How was that cool? How was that rock and roll? Just let me play my guitar man.

But seriously, I will never forget that scene at the Christian school till the day I die. me and Beaver still talk about it. I really fell out of Christianity that day.

So the moral of the story? Well, I'm not one to look for morals to stories very much, but if I had to stretch a bit to find one, I'd say that it has something to do with God being a really groovy cat when he's talking about love and peace and helping your fellow man, and God can be a really whacky prankster when he's telling you that after you die you are going to live in a big mansion and hang out everyday with the great white robed one, and yes God can be a really scary monster when he's telling you to blow people up or cut their heads off. I think you just have to be real careful which God you listen to.