O.k. so here it is election night. the phone is off the hook. Went up to the polls in east Harlem to film my Buddy Raphael vote. Good times in the hood. All the brothers and sisters are voting for Kerry.

Phone is ringing like crazy. friends are worried, confused, and perplexed why bush seems to be winning. They are scared. This is what it looks like now:

PRESIDENT
Full President
270 electoral votes needed to win

BUSH
193
27,993,878 (51% total)

KERRY
112
26,209,056 (48% total)

43% nationwide precincts reporting

No wonder they are scared. But what they don't know is that the dems will take nh, mi, ca, or, wa, probably nm, and most likely ia, oh, wi, and pa. may even take a few more. yes bush will get FL, and nv, and az, etc. that's just the way it is. this baby looks too close to call to most, but I am pretty confident the dems will take it and Kerry will be victorious. More later as more states coming in.
In the meantime I am watching this documentary history of Peter and Paul of Israel who helped found the Christian religion. Interesting stuff. a lot of pieces coming together that had not been completely clear before the last few days of studying this.

O.k. things have changed. Bush took Florida. In this great battle between the light and the dark side of the force, between the enlightened and the barbarians, between the people and big business, between the well-informed and the well-intentioned but ignorant masses, between the hip and the ‘hope one day to know what hip means,’ the only chance we have now of winning comes down to a humble state known as Ohio. Bush is ahead in Ohio now. So my friends it looks like we are doomed here. 

On more frank terms, we are fucked. The world at large is fucked. Gay people are fucked. The poor are fucked. Health care is fucked. Our supreme court is fucked. Logic and truth are of course fucked. The people of Iraq are certainly even more fucked than they have already been. And our reputation around the rest of the world is fucked. So tonight before the election results were finalized I decided to take a long walk around the city. the weather is cool and crisp. A light mist was falling. Not quite rain. I walked and I walked. Just kept shaking my head.
 
All I could feel was heartbreak and fear. Bush had somehow managed to stay in office. it seemed so obvious to me that he was through. After everything that everyone heard and saw and learned in the last four years, it still didn't get through to people. over one hundred people killed in Iraq in a little more than a year and the American people voted this regime back in office. I am truly stunned. by all accounts I believe I may be in shock. Kerry seemed like such a shoe in that I spent the last week or so just dancing around happy as can be. I just never imagined that the American people would vote Bush back in. so there we are. The phone is ringing off the hook. People calling in to offer their condolences or to just sit in silence and in shock. Rockaway calls and asks me ‘dude is this really happening?’ ‘yes my brother. It looks like it is.’ ‘yeah but this isn't it, is it? I mean, we still have a chance right?’ ‘I don't think so man. I think this is it...’ I console him.... but don't know how really.
I'll tell you what, if we thought the last four years were divisive in this country, wait till we see the next four years. I cannot help but feel a bitter anger over the situation myself. I can only imagine what my more activist minded friends are feeling. Me, I have a lot of expanding to do. I need to get outside of this a bit so I don't walk around with a big grudge on my shoulder against all these stupid hicks from the sticks. Who are these people? did they not see the debates? Did they not see the same babbling unprepared idiot that the rest of us saw on our TVs, drool and all? I must get to know these people. get to the heart of them. I must get o.k. with this. find a way to brave the storm ahead. Find a way to look at the reality of it and accept it... for now I am just shocked though.

Received a note from a friend in Israel because of the suicide bombing there this week.

Dear Fishy, 

Some times I feel like I can't take this shit any more...  Like a De -Ja-vu from 4 years ago, I remember exactly why I was unhappy here and wanted to move.  And if I forget- obviously there is some one there that "keep me posted".  The funny thing is that only last Friday I was at that place (not Tel Aviv, because I'm here every day now, specifically that street market), it was unusual place to set up to mite some one, because it's so messy, but when my friend said that he's two blocks away from the market, and I was two block away from the other side, I was like: sure, way not?!
 
I was thinking it's a good idea since I have memories from that place, I haven't been there for at least three years.  When I was a child my mom use to take me over there, to do "pre-Shabes" grocery shopping, it was so messy, noisy and sweaty, I was only 1 meters tall (or short) and every body would totally trying to run me over. Once when she wanted to go in to the "meet section", she told me to wait for her on the street corner, she believed dead animals is not a pretty sight for a girl like me.
But me, I was afraid being alone on the street with all those strange people (that looked totally barbaric to me) insisted on coming with her.  And then I have seen some thing by far more barbaric  than the human being out there, Flash was every were it was slathered cattle, skin naked on hooks!
Until today I'm a vegetarian- just kidding!!! And I remember the first time I left the base, from boot camp. I was officially a soldier, wearing itchy uniform, I felt like every body was looking at me, like I'm a target, well the fact is that I am a target, even today! So it felt good walking over there few days ago, thank God not yesterday. I was walking over there 1.75 meter, that are 5 feet 9, and that's enough for my head to be above every one else, I located my friend easily and we had a good time for two hours. And now a boy shorter than me, blow out him self. and the human flash is all around, I can't imagn.
 
Thank you for your concern, me and my friend are all well.
Kat.