Earlier tonight I found myself with the hiccups. Someone told me to place my two forefingers close together, pointed at one another but don't touch them. just focus on putting them as close together as possible without touching. Within ten seconds my hiccups stopped. Just like that. fucking totally amazing. has to be some ancient Chinese thing... fascinating though.

I'm coming around. little by little , the boy is coming around. I have noticed an increase interest and willingness to sit in public places to write or talk or relax. I noticed this tonight. normally I spend all of my time holed up in the studio or the office working or the apartment studying or sleeping. So this is good progress.

Also noticing that I'm going more with the flow. Like if I'm going nuts during the day I will run to the gym and do a workout. Rather than wait for the “right or scheduled time” to go. I'll just jump and run over there and pump for a while to clear the mind and let off some steam. Its almost a sense of something like “its o.k. like its more than o.k. its fucking great. Life is great. I'm living the life of my dreams.” something like this is what it is starting to feel like.

Like the song says, I really am softening, letting go. more willing to relax into the moments without always being on edge about doing doing doing. Its good to do do do. but its also good to be be be.

Current spin: sigus ross, Von. An unreleased early one. easy to see why it was never released. It is really bad. Just them starting out, that's all. And I am a huge fan. they are one of my fav bands of all time. but may I never hear this horrible CD again.