Stealing Music

July 21st, 2005
On the phone with itunes today about how one great they are and have been for us and two how awful they are at the same time because its so easy for people to just hand each other a stack of cds and have their friends burn them into their itunes system on their hard drives. We talked for about an hour about it. they tried to get me to see how much better it is now than a few years ago when people were just downloading for free. And I see that. but I also see how easy it is to grab your friends cds and burn them into your system. shit I'm DOING IT!!! and lately I've really been questioning it. I mean, after all, we are still stealing. Say what you will, but we are still stealing music. its one thing to borrow your friends CD for a few days for a free listen. but its another thing to take it forever into your hard drive... man but its just so fucking easy... how can we stop it? should we stop it? can I as a music lover stop myself even? its true that if I get the new lcd sound system from polar bear, and I like it, that I will go buy the rest of their back catalogue, BUT I'm still getting that new one for free and putting it into my ipod. Interesting. Perhaps one day we will find a way to stop it. get the control out of the hands of the consumer and back into the control of the people who actually make the music, the artists and labels who are spending the time energy and money on making the product. in no other industry is their such potential for such rampant stealing of product. imagine for a moment going into a grocery store and being able to just fill your basket with food and walk out of there without paying all because we have found a way technologically to do so without getting caught. So we justify it to ourselves because after all we aren't getting caught or getting into trouble... this is what's happening in music right. or imagine sneaking into a movie theatre to see the newest craze just because you can. most people wouldn’t because quite frankly they'd feel like losers. What's ten bucks for a movie? So what is the difference with music? well, I don't know. I'm asking myself the same questions. Because I'm just as guilty of it still and I make my own living from selling music. so why would I partake? Why? because I can get away with it. Crazy.





I am still knee deep into this process I have chanced upon whereby I am searching for past transgressions, misconduct, wrong-doings and healing them one by one....

Looks something like this. [this is from a letter to rockaway I sent him today to help him deal with a recent problem/conflict he is having with a guitar player in town]

Bro, breathe deep and check this out. And when you feel in a secure place, ask yourself what is your responsibility in this..... take a piece of paper and gently and lovingly write down each different incidence of misconduct or transgression that you feel like you committed against Tony; and then other people regarding talking behind their back (since this is what you are upset about him doing to you).... write down what you did, write down why you did it (to get attention or approval etc.... to feel better than others... to feel cool in the moment), and then let that all go. acknowledge it, feel sorry for it, see what and why you did it, see how it affects your life, make amends if you feel you can or want to, and then let it go.. this doesn’t make Tony right in the situation, but it allows you to clean up your part in it. it allows you to be clear. it allows you to free up more of your own attention/creating energy. And usually it helps you see the bigger picture of why you would create something like this happening in your life. after this, then lets see how you feel about Tony. And then lets see how he is showing up in your world.... o.k.? good luck and may the force be with you. love, Fishy

So yes this is what I am doing STILL. day after day I spend a few hours late at night doing it. things pop up in my mind. Based on the integrity rundown from Avatar basically. One of The questions is “list any current conflicts you are in.” so I am through with present time and now I am working on my high school and junior high school years. I look for anyone that has a charge for me. anyone that my attention sticks on. even though this is years and years ago, you will find that there are still plenty of people that if you feel into it have a charge for you, that when you think about them you feel bothered for some reason. They can be people that you know you transgressed against in some way and just never bothered to look into it or acknowledge it, or they can be people that you feel have hurt you in some way. usually if you look deep enough you will find some point where you did something to them OR some point when you did a similar thing to someone else. sometimes they are small things. like ‘I moved the ouiji board piece and pretended that it was moving by itself with my friend David and all these years I have felt like a liar....’ you cannot believe the sense of freedom and release and relief you feel from this! its fucking mind-blowing. We hang onto this stuff in our consciousness forever it seems and then we act and react based on how we feel about these things but very subconsciously... we don't even know this stuff is still there....

Sometime they can be big things that we just repressed. Things we don't want to look at. things we are still justifying. Things we are still trying to find a way in our mind of not remembering or rationalizing why we did it. Picking on your younger brother or sister, or making fun of some other kid in school to try to make yourself feel cool. or man I'm not going to list anything big here but I have found tons of little things from high school and junior school that I am not too proud of.... things that have been there all along and that I have been living through... it has helped so much free up my attention and energy. I feel so much more relaxed, softer, more myself, less on guard, more able to look people in the eye and be myself. little by little everyday I am letting it go and becoming more happy to be me. it feels like enlightenment. It feels amazing. great stuff.




I spoke with little Havana today and she asked how my love life was doing. I told her I was sort of seeing this older woman, and last night I had this opportunity to be with an even older woman. I Googled her today and found out she was about 60 or 65. She was aghast. ‘What?! what are you doing Fishy?!’ ‘you know, I just want the experience. Its so crazy. but c'mon I want the experience of that. how awesome that is!’ and she asks me ‘whatever happened to your fetish girls?’ ‘oh I'm over that phase now. I'm into the older women now.’ she tells me “They should make a planet out of you Fishy. you are your own planet.” Use that for a song or album title. they should make a planet out of you. hey, can I use that? sure, feel free.

Last screening: the classic, maltese falcon. In my ongoing discovery of Humphrey Bogart. This is one of his most famous classics. He plays Sam spade, the derelict dick with a pension for fast talking people out of cash whenever he sees an opportunity or slugging people just because they did that a lot back then. all these old movies, guys just hit each other out of the blue all the time. A small picture, like all the old movies, but no less dramatic because of that. you can’t believe at the end that he turns the girl in. its great. thoughts: movies are much bigger now, but not necessarily better. Back then the characters had a sense of realness and drama that a lot of times they don't seem to possess these days, though I cannot say why. could it be that we are around now? so we see the bullshit media hype behind the stars all the time like brad pitt etc? so we just don't respect them as much? Whereas with Bogart we weren't around back then so he has become a sort of icon to us because we only see his movies and not the behind the scenes stuff??? I'm not sure yet. but there is such an intensity to him onscreen. You really believe him in his roles. I'm a fan now. maybe that's just what made Bogart Bogart so to speak.


Current spin: LCD sound system, lcd sound system. creative. Addictive. Can’t stop listening to it. reminds of young David Byrne before he got serious. There is a song called losing my edge that everyone must hear at least once.

Also, the BOOKS. This is a great project. Amazing experimental music. get it.

Also, serge gainsbourg, comic strip. My oh my those French were cheesy. You have to hear this stuff to believe it. it is major cheese. I'm not saying its bad. But its everything that sixties French music was... just over the top tongue in cheek campy kitschy stuff... girl back ground singers and all... really silly.


Last screening: DIG. This is the best. It’s about the bands Brian Jones town massacre and dandy warhols. This is the best rockumentary I have ever seen. it’s a must see!!!!! Really good. critics and observers were right about anton. He deserved the bad rap. He comes off like an asshole and an idiot. his band seem cool. but their music doesn’t sound very good. the dandies on the other hand made some really great music in their time. I don't see how Courtney was influenced by anton at all... or intimidated by him. he was better, wittier, classier. Maybe he was just influenced by his personality.... that whole art for arts sake thing... which can be a potent aphrodisiac, but in that case one often forgets to actually pay attention to the product or output itself. Such was the case with Andy Warhol. Where his asthetic influenced generations but his art (what art?) just never lives up the hype. But his cult of personality was something to behold and to be reckoned with.



by the way: this is really cool: fucking humans. We are cool.

(In Case of Emergency)

Following the disaster in London... The Ambulance Service has launched a national "In Case of Emergency ICE)" campaign. The idea is that you store the word "ICE" in your cell phone address book, and against it enter the number of the person you would want to be contacted "In Case of Emergency".

In an emergency situation ambulance and hospital staff will then be able to quickly look at your mobile phone and find out who your first contact should be and be able to contact them.

It's so simple that everyone can do it. Please do. Email this to everybody in your address book, it won't take too many "forwards" before everybody will know about this, and it will become an international practice. For more than one contact name use: ICE1, ICE2, ICE3, etc. It really could help the emergency services in doing their job.