I went out on a date with the Brasilian last night. Again it was hard to ask her out. I don't know why. on my way there, I was not even excited to be going out with her. What the fuck is this? what has happened to me? the whole time we were together I felt like torturing myself. She was speaking and I would be sitting there imagining myself running really fast to smash my head into a building to splatter my brains everywhere. I was just so uninterested in her and so mad at myself for being there with anyone who I was not entirely intoxicated by. One would think I could just be appreciative to be going out with girls....

This game in my head. Back and forth. ‘you like her.’ ‘I don't like her.’ ‘you like her.’ ‘I don't fucking like her. If you like her so much you take her!’ ‘I am you! you idiot. lets like her!’ ‘No! I don't like her.’ ‘what's not to like? Look at her. She has eyes like Julia Roberts. She looks like Julia for God sakes mixed with a little bit of Penelope. She's fucking perfect!’ ‘I don't care. I don't like her. I want her.’ And then I would look over at some girl walking down Lincoln road or sitting across from us at another table. ‘now that's what I want. That girl is speaking Hebrew. I want that. or is she speaking French? either way, I want that.’ ‘dude you are such an idiot. that girl isn't even pretty. Look at this girl sitting in front of you talking. and for God sakes at least nod your head while is speaking so she thinks you are listening to her instead of carrying on a fucking conversation in your head.’ ‘I am nuts.’ ‘you’re not nuts.’ ‘ well then who are you talking to me.‘ ‘I'm you. and you're  me. you're talking to yourself. Its perfectly normal. People do it all the time. don't sweat it. but just keep your nodding so she thinks you are listening.’ ‘God what language is she speaking in again?’ ‘Dude its Portuguese. you know it. c'mon say something back to her. Participate in the conversation. Get interested in her.’ ‘but I'm not interested in her. I don't know why. I'm just not. She bores me.’ I AM SO FUCKING BORED!!!!! get me out of here. I want to go now.’ ‘you can’t go now. you just got here. your food hasn’t even arrived yet. you have to be cool. Just be polite. Be a gentleman.’ 

Played a show last night in Gainesville, FL. fans drove in from Miami, Daytona, Orlando, Naples, and Fort Lauderdale. The house was not packed but it was well filled. The crowd dug us. At the end of the set the crowd was chanting ‘one more song, one more song.’ Those friends and fans made that night for us. I lost my voice again during the set. This is new. It started at the hard rock a few weeks ago. I'm going to a throat specialist to see what the hell is going on. Later that night everyone went their separate ways to various parties. The next morning me and Vancouver woke up and realized that we didn't know where Infinito and the Piano Man were. The Piano Man finally called and said, ‘Fishy, I'm in some apartment and I'm all alone and I don't know where I am. I don't know how or where to tell you to pick me up.’ It was classic.  

Current Spin: Ram by Paul McCartney

Last Good Flick: Black Hawk Down