Fucking a. already June fucking first.

No wonder I say I'm not moving to California.... “look honey the house and everything we own and love just slid off a mountain and is destroyed...” an people who live in California will always tell you ‘don't worry about it. it’ll never happen. and yet every year we hear about it happening... humans in general are pretty whacked.
(But lets be fair, live in New York and take the risk of being blown up by terrorists. Live in the Midwest and get blown away by tornados. Live in the South or the east coast and get blow away by hurricanes. West coast and you're sucked up by earthquakes. We’re fucking doomed no matter where we live.)

California landslide sends homes crashing

Damaged homes sit on a collapsing hill
A landslide sent at least five expensive homes crashing down a hill in Laguna Beach, California, today and may have damaged many others. The earth was still moving beneath the homes. Some fell nearly intact, while others were ripped apart and left trails of debris. There was no immediate word on whether there were any injuries.

Current read:
O.k. so where are we? Well as fate would have it, as if fate has anything, I had just recently purchased and stated to watch a DVD series of Abraham-hicks material. Good stuff. highly recommended. As I said already. The general idea espoused in the message is that life is all about joy and freedom. Our lives. And that's a great message. That everything is alright. And that it is through our desires that we control our destiny and that life flowing through us through our desires is that purpose of life. good enough. I love it.

Now I also started at the same time reading a book called ‘becoming like God: our ultimate destiny through the kabalah.’ Now his whole premise is that we are like God and that the way to become more like God is through letting go of the egos ‘desire for personal gain.’ Wouldn’t you know that I am absorbing both ideas at the exact same time. during the day I am reading this guy teach how you have to let go of the egos desire for personal gain and just focus on sharing everything with everyone... which is very similar to Avatar actually. And yet the abe-hicks material teaches the exact opposite: that life is all about our own personal desires flowing through us and this is how we achieve ultimate happiness.

The thing about the Abraham-hicks stuff is that it is so easy. the science of deliberate creation they call it. go for the feeling that you want is the method. Go for the best feeling that you can get to they say. Can you imagine... feels really easy. scary, because we aren't used to this at all. aren't used to just trying to go for the good feelings if things around us aren't feeling good... you know? but they are saying this is the key to manifesting our hearts desires and dreams... reminds of the old adage, ‘be it, do it, have it.’ in other words, be it first, but this is more like, ‘pretend that you are it and start to feel it and vibe it and then you will notice that you are it.’ spoke with the king the other day who is really into the abe-hicks technology and was telling him that I totally vibe with it. it seems so there, so on, so pure and dead on right, but still just getting used to practicing the process of it. will keep you posted. I do feel better. But lost these days. a whole week where I just feel totally fucking lost. Not myself.

New York is cold again. it is mid may, and we are still cold. Shivering outside cold. Sweaters and scarves and jackets. This is eight months straight now of cold weather. its just fucking bullshit at this point. getting very tired of this.

though the spring has been extremely exhilarating. Everyone looks so beautiful. filled with life. they call it spring fever. Everyone so happy and excited. The neighborhood is so full of life and bustling activity. Last night I just walk out the door down the steps, walk across the street to hit the local sandwich shop, “you want a juice” they ask, knowing me from coming in everyday, ‘yes please, carrot beet celery please. then across the street to buy a few potted azaleas for the planter just beneath the window of my bedroom. They're fifteen each – with New York being about five times more expensive than the rest of the civilized world, but we bargain and I get four for thirty. And I love that about living in this beautiful quaint little neighborhood. Then I mosie next door sipping my carrot juice and carrying a box that holds four blooming azaleas to our little neighborhood bakery, squeeze a few loaves before finding just the right seven grain loaf, bs with the owner a bit inquire at exactly what time the fresh loaves are baked – six am if you want the absolute freshest he tells me – and then I run across the street to buy some Spanish oil from the gourmet market across the street from the Koreans that own it. let me tell you something, New York is everything and then more than you dream it is. it is like living no where else. good and bad. The subway still completely sucks ass and if it not for my willingness to stay open minded and look for how interesting it is with all the freaks and crazies I would truly hate it.

Going out, dating, seeing each other, going steady... what is the right way to say it? isn't that funny...

Current spin: Nicolas Peyrac, toujours une route. His best of two disc set. A French acoustic singer songwriter.