Dasher still trying to get me to hone in on the show, make it more cohesive, a stronger, bolder, more singular statement....more filming, more shooting, more editing, just to film a fucking pilot... almost fifty hours of film now scattered about the office desks... and I just keep going all over the place with it. now I am working with this idea for the apple ipod to get it right into the TV cameras and my ears at the same time... a brilliant idea.. totally revolutionary... and he's like, ‘what? you want to do what? add music during filming? instead of in post? What are you fucking crazy? Fishy we don't do it like that bro.’ ‘yeah I know, but what if we did?’ and I flash him this smile...

‘Too Picasso.... you're just too fucking Picasso man... That should be the title of the documentary about what it is like to work with you Fishy,’ Dasher tells me. ‘you're just all over the place... too abstract. you have to hone in man, just hear me on this... you can’t go interview people about health care problems and hear all these fucked up stories for instance and then head out into the street with your ipod and be dancing around ten minutes later to a Jay z song. people are going to think you are a bastard and its going to totally minimize the impact of what we’re going for in the story...’

‘bro I hear you. o.k.? I really do. But check it man. Life is sad. I'll give you that. life is always going to be sad. God knows that's part of what we’re doing here with the show is showing how fucked up everything is... but bro... that's just life. life is always sad. No matter what. all the time all of us know someone in our life who is going through something fucked up and sad... but man life is good too... at the same time... you know?’

‘O.k...’

‘Yeah man, and like with music.... music is there for us no matter what. good or bad... even during the sad times... so o.k. so lets say I do the interview with the freedom fighters in Chechnya... and they're all fucked up because the media is inappropriately labeling them terrorists and blah blah blah and its really sad that Russia has killed all their fucking men in their whole country and all that's left now is young kids and women.. and sure that's fucking sad as hell man.. and I'm feeling that sadness... I mean, bro you know me... I'm feeling that pain...’

‘I know you are. That's what I'm saying... you're there... and I love that. and I think people are going to see that Fishy....’

‘o.k. but dig what I'm saying.... o.k. so then... on the plane coming back home, some girl and I are digging each other right? and I want to film us dancing to some awesome music and just let it out... you know man.. that's life.... or maybe we get it on in the bathroom at thirty-thousand feet and I want to film that and put it in the show... that would be cool man...’

‘No Fishy that would not be cool. that's why I mean... it won't work man... it would just never work...  people do not think like that... they need something solid. They want one statement... they don't want ten statements... maybe you do... and I respect that man. You're an artist... I understand that... I do, but its not going to sell. And we’re going to bomb bro. and I am too young to bomb. You're going to have to trust me on this.... I respect you, but you're going to have to trust me on this...’

I'm sick now. have a cold. I love having colds. I love sneezing. I love blowing my nose. I love the whole art of having a cold. Its never unwelcomed...

Current spin: Al Green – I'm still in love with you. this is the original album, the masterpiece. One of them. Just great. Perfect. so singular in what it attempts. Pulls it off perfectly. digging into all of the old original Al green releases. A master in his time. He and Marvin and Curtis and Sly and Ray and James. And then Prince sashayed in. So forget about it. He just blew the doors off of place.