You know, maybe we can and do spend our entire lives rallying against God and all that, primarily I believe for two reasons, one because he's never showed him/herself and only been an idea in human consciousness, as opposed to a “something real” that could be construed as undeniable – I mean put your hand on a red hot stove and that's going to be pretty fucking undeniable; or run out into the middle of Lexington avenue in front of my apartment at rush hour and that's going to be an undeniable experience to be sure, but God just hasn’t pulled that off yet. perhaps he's too busy. Perhaps he's moved onto to other worlds, his only mission here on our small planet was creation itself and then from there we’re all on our own. Of course our idea of God has always persevered; our desire for what God is and should be and what he/she could be has become almost undeniable to many and most; at least in the mind of many who call themselves religious. All that's in place already. ask a Christian or a Muslim – they're probably the most devout of the old-worlds left on the planet at this point (at least of the majors – from what I hear the Jane’s watch every step they take because they think it is a sin to kill anything, even insects.) --- and they're going to give you that confident “no I have no idea I'm in a cult but everything is just fine, really it is” smile and give you all sorts of reasons and evidence that God is undeniable. U dig deep enough and you're going to discover that for them its all going to come down to what is written in their respective holy books. Yep, I'm not making it up. most people get to a point in life where the hand on the burning hot stove is going to be more undeniable than say what you may or may not read in one or two books. But not all people. some of these people will look you right in the eye and tell you that their certainty of what's in that book is stronger than their certainty of their hand on the hot stove or any scientific proof you can prove or unprove in the known universe. And for them we leave a little bit of envy in our hearts, because that's a faith that is hard to muster up in most of us. they’re crazy, granted, I mean, in a court of law they would be deemed insane, but that doesn’t mean that we cannot envy them.

But for the rest of us well we have to dig deep to find that kind of faith. because its not easy in the face of the nothingness that surrounds us. so we rally against and bitch and moan about the God concept because lets face it, God doesn’t seem to mind. If he/she/it exists at all, he/she/it understands I'm sure. So far God doesn’t appear in the form of an undeniable hot stove that you can’t place your hand on. More like a damn good idea that just hasn’t fully materialized yet.

The problem of course with being intellectual is that it’s an utter waste of time. we may find it mildly exciting at some stage. But you just reach a point where philosophizing over matters intellectual feels such a waste of precious time and effort. Reading and thinking and talking about it all. I mean, life hasn’t changed that much since we got here. and I don't see it changing that much by the time we leave. Sure technology has shifted and evolved a lot, but in thirty-thousand years of recorded human history we are still right where we were thirty thousand years ago; no closer to knowing who we are or why we are or how we got here. I don't think any debate we’re going to have over dinner or drinks tonight or at the university or in court tomorrow is going to make a difference. If God had any heart at all he’d throw us a bone, clue us in even a tad. But God the eternal joker –where do you think they got the idea for that character in the first place – is too busy with his own Thai massage at this time; hell, he's probably got three hot Orientals at once as I'm typing this and he considers himself just too damn busy to give us even the foggiest notion of what's really going on.

Wow. What an exciting day! Went to the anti-war rally and march today held at the Vietnam veterans memorial. Over 200,000 were there. It was very inspirational because no one I knew was going. Like I said most people feel content with just watching stuff like that on TV, staying home and doing their own thing. So I had this lonely feeling flying up, like, “man what are you doing now…” But then I woke up this morning and started walking towards the rally spot and before I knew it I am surrounded by hundreds of thousands of people from all over the country who feel the same way that I do about things. I met up with the bus that came from Florida. There were about fifty of them. 


We all hung out together and listened to the speeches at the rally. Busses were arriving throughout the day from every state in the nation. Susan Sarandon spoke very passionately; patty smith sang the song ‘the people have the power.’ Al Sharpton and Jessie Jackson spoke. One of the best speeches was by Ramsey Clark, the ex-United States Attorney General. He blasted Bush and what he calls the real axis of evil that is made up of Bush, Colin Powel, Donald Rumsfeld, and Dick Cheney. All oil and big business war mongers ready to take down as many American lives and Iraqi lives as they want to in their little war for oil. And of course they won't fight. Plenty of young poor Americans will. Al Sharpton used the bogie-man analogy and said that George Bush was just trying to use this war as a means to get the public’s attention off of what was really important to us right now, like the falling economy, horrible education problems, the federal deficit, the recession, disastrous health care—this is something I can relate to because almost all of the musician friends I have all over the country do not have any health insurance—they are just  ‘winging it’, the Enron scandal, a company that he and Cheney were both very close to, and many other real problems. And of course the fact that we haven't made any progress in catching anyone responsible for the September 11^th attacks, including Osama Bin Laden.