Today we woke up early and went to the Oregon coast to see a few clearcuts. Acres of ancient forests cut down and completely devastated. The girl who has been my guide on this journey, Polly, started to cry when we saw it. I had more of an intellectual response and just started brainstorming about what could actually be done about this craziness. The pacific northwest has less than 5% of its ancient trees left now. they take hundreds of years to grow. So there is no chance of them growing back in our lifetime even if they were to stop all cutting from this point on. It would still take four hundred years to get the forests back. and all these logging companies don't care. In January George bush came to Eugene for one night for a fundraiser. He was given a campaign check for one million dollars from the logging industry. A few months later they had carte blanche to cut down as many large trees as they wanted to in the name of ‘preventing forest fires.’ crazy.

[I will say this about George w. Bush though, and I've said it before, lots of people do. he may be one of the worst things going in the history of mankind, but he doesn’t try to hide it. and remarkably he is rather forthright about it. as awful as he was in the debates, and he was truly awful in a remarkable way, as only he can be, he was very honest in his answers about things. when asked about the environment he never claimed to really care too much about it. he admits, not quite readily but damn close to it, that he is more in favor and concerned for business and jobs and the economy than he is about the environment. You gotta hand it to the guy, and everyone who was working for him at that time [most of them have now quit since his re-election – we can only guess why. God knows what insanity we are in for if his whole dame cabinet is quitting before his new term even begins.] He could have easily balked on the issue of the environment, but he didn't. he told it as he sees it. he thinks that environmentalists are extremists and that its just not that big of a deal. As much as I disagree with him and others like him, I like him for that.

He acted the same way when asked about America losing all of its jobs overseas. Unlike the democrats who tried to act like they were going to save the jobs and bring them all back home, Bush never once caved in. he looked right into the camera and told those people that their jobs were history and that he was going to try to help them get educated to get different jobs, that America needed to move on and keep up with globalization. Again, he never tried to pretend to people that he was going to try to help them keep their jobs from going overseas. The answers that were written for him in the debates were brilliant in how they managed to deliver a lot of the bad news of the republican agenda to the American people in a semi-digestible manner.

Same thing with his answers on same sex marriage. The justification for an idea as abominable as a constitutional amendment to ban same sex marriage on the grounds that it threatens family values or the ideal of marriage in any country in this day and age is ridiculous. And any thinking person can see that and knows it. You bring it up in any circle of semi-intelligent company anywhere in the world and it gets people laughing. This is a very clearly more a matter of evolution. Evolved citizens of the world versus minds just not as evolved yet. but again, what I loved about Bush and his administration’s answers during the debates and throughout his campaign was his willingness to put himself out there and tell it as he saw it. you have to be a complete loony to even come up with an idea as asinine as that one, but you have to have real courage and conviction as well. And I admire that.

I was in the bath. Called the artisan.
Hey artisan.
Hey Fishy, what a pleasant surprise, how are you?
I'm good. listen, how much do you weigh?
My oh my, what kind of a question is that sweetie?
I know it sounds crazy, but I'm taking some surveys; I just need to know. some girl I know wants to set me up with one of her friends and I found out her measurements and so I am calling a few girls I know so I can get a good idea of what this means.
Well Fishy you don't have to marry her. just go for coffee.
Yes I know, but I need to know what kind of getting together for coffee its going to be. you know, just need to know what to expect for things like this.
Well how tall is she?
She's 5’5.
O.k. well that's good. so am i.
Well how much do you weigh?
Well normally when you see me I weigh about 113, but I'm a bit lighter now.
o.k. 113. yeah that's nice. now does that include your breasts?
Oh stop it.
O.k. so lets assume that includes your breasts.... which are quite nice by the way. if you don't mind me saying so...
Fishy stop. But thank you.
So do you think 5’5 and 125 is too big for me then?
Well for you probably yes. but for a lot of men that would be perfect. but I know what you like and that may be a bit too big for you. depending on the size of her breasts of course. They may be very large. And you may like that. I don't know.
Well I like your body.
But you always said that I needed a bigger butt.
Well this is true. if you had another pound or two at least around your ass, that would really be quite perfect. but that doesn’t add up to 125 does it?
No sweetie, it sure doesn’t. but I think you should still at least go have some coffee with her...
Yeah, no harm in that. its just good to know what kind of go to have some coffee your going to have that's all. you know?
Yes I know....

Then we talked about boo boo kitty. How cute she is but I mentioned her short temper.
Yes she does have a short temper doesn’t she. [if you could only hear the voice of the artisan.... it is quite intoxicating. She is a very dreamy woman...]
The thing is that sometimes she just loses her temper and starts barking at people. and you know that's fine if you know her really well or you are related to her, but when you don't know someone that can be quite alarming.
Yes I know. when she starts acting that way towards me I just laugh at her.
Well so do i. I just tell her that she is being incorrigible. And then she laughs and askes me what the word means. I explain to her that the way that she is being is a perfect example of the definition of the word. But last night I took her to a very fancy place with some very fancy friends of mine and they made some comment about Michael Moore’s movie being full of holes and not very accurate and I swear to God she just started biting the guys head off. Right there at the table. And they didn't even know each other and here she is yelling at him.
Yes you must help her get over that Fishy. she listens to you.
Well my friend didn't know what to do. he felt so bad about it as if he must have really offended her. I felt awful.

Well just help her out of this creation Fishy. you can do it. she is learning a lot from you since you moved there. she really looks up to you. don't tell her I said so but she really admires a lot of your qualities and realizes that she can learn a lot from how you are.
Well that makes me feel good but I'll tell you, I'm still learning myself. That's a big responsibility and I'm a real bastard a lot of the time. and honestly I can’t seem to help myself. I hate that.
Oh I know. we all are. Its just part of being human. But you're wonderful sweetie. You're a very positive influence on those around you. you know that. you’ve taught me a lot.
Well, I try, but I fuck up all the time. I really fucking hate that. you know, I think the reason why we like Pride and Prejudice so much is because the characters are so perfect as people that it gives us something to aspire to. I wish we were more like that. I wish I was as perfect a man as Mr. Darcy.
I know! she sings... and perhaps we will be one day if we keep at it Fishy. perhaps one day we can be as absolutely perfect as Jane Austen characters, each and everyone of us. wouldn’t that be great?
Yes it would Artisan. That would be just great.

We had a brilliant production meeting today about the new reality TV show. It was filmed. the key is just to have a camera on me at all times we decided. We watched some of the footage that was already shot and it was truly hilarious! The guys said ‘people are going to watch this and think who the fuck is this guy and where does he come from?’

Two days of snowboarding in flagstaff. I am so sore I cannot even lift my arms, and can barely walk, but I had the most fun in the last two days than can ever remember. Listening to music on the way up the mountain—Rufus wainright, strokes, Bessie smith, even the new avril lavigne.  A surreal experience with the magic snow capped mountains and the white blankets covering the terrain everywhere you look. Peaceful and quiet. Easy to be alone with your thoughts and feelings. And Rufus singing so pure and passionately. Put on some Air and some Phoenix and some new David gray. Orange sky, mountains surrounding us, skyscraper Aspens and pines blowing in the wind, chills in my body from the beauty of the experience.  

I wiped out so many times I couldn’t even stand up. I would just lay there in the snow for ten minutes staring up at the sky, in this ecstatic pain, then lift myself up again. So happy to be alive. I haven't checked email or checked voicemail in a week. Just disappeared into things, living in the moment. I love the cold and snow so much I have no idea why I still live in Miami.