Christmas in Miami feels like… is it really Christmas time yet? Christmas all over the world, but so much harder to notice in the southern states, even though lots of cards are coming in from all over—that is the only reminder that it is Christmas. 

I stood outside today, had to take my shirt off, perspiring like crazy in the high 80’s maybe, low 90’s—so un-Christmas. I think they have put up some carnivals or something in certain parts of town, I swear to God—big flashing lights and rides begging for you to spend money, maybe that's Christmas to them... very weird. No one really decorates. I think I had a nervous breakdown sometime in the last 48 hours. I haven't heard “Happy Holidays” yet, or even a Christmas song. 

It's Christmas Day. The five nieces are opening up their presents like wild animals. Their eyes are glossy and I think I noticed them even drooling. They are all smiles. Jumping up and down and screaming "Oh my God! Oh my God." I'm kicked back with my guitar and my new cannon powershot. I woke up this morning, looked up to God and said good morning, Merry Christmas. He said, "Good morning to you. Go outside and let go of your fears and count your blessings." SO I took some time outside early in the morning and walked around reciting everything I feel blessed with in my life, enjoying the cold air and a very strong cup of java, I walked around the lake.

Over one hundred TV and movie stars sent a letter on live TV to president Bush asking him to stop the war talk. This may be enough to get more people to get off their ass and realize that it's O.K. to speak up. This could be a good thing. http://abcnews.go.com/sections/GMA/DailyNews/celebrity_activists021211.html 

So it's happening after all.

Just recently read a profile of ex-prez Jimmy Carter. Turns out that after his inaugural address he shunned the bulletproof limo and walked the 1.5 miles from the Capitol to the White House. Normally after they are sworn in they get in their limo for the first time and drive to the white house waving to supporters, and then they get out of the car about four blocks before the white house and walk the rest of the way, waving and shaking hands. Jimmy wanted to show people that he was one of them, so he walked the whole way. Now contrast this with George W. Bush twenty years later, who didn't even get out of the limo, due to over 20,000 protesters lined up along Pennsylvania avenue throwing eggs and tomatoes at his car and screaming “hail to the thief.” They didn't show this on TV that day. We have come a long way in the last twenty years. This was a very close race. Gore only won by half a million votes. I bet a lot more of us will vote in the next election, that's for sure.

Current Spin: Mum. Great sonic ambiance. And Audioslave. And new Pearl Jam. 

Every time we hook up with someone romantically our hearts our minds start racing towards this marriage idea. I notice it in myself all the time. it just starts thinking about it every few seconds whenever I meet someone new or start getting romantic with someone. It's like we’re in this race to get married and then of course once we are married it's like time just drags on forever, I mean you start to realize that now it is forever. 

With la Princesa she was always talking about that she didn't have time. "I don’t have time to waste if you’re not the one or I'm not the one for you. I don't have time." She was in a race. Her childhood was awful according to her own account, mother and father never got along, should have never got married, he was always drunk screaming all the time, money was their love, and I always used to think when she would tell me that she didn't have the time, well what are we in such a race for? She had already been married once and divorced. So what are we trying to do, make me the number two divorce??? I mean why are we rushing to this marriage thing so fast, so we can have kids and be miserable and get divorced and never speak again? I think of the Italian stallion and her telling me how her parents never got along and her family life sucked. 

Good show last night. Band was very loose, out of control at times. A few fans showed up, small crowd though, but enthusiastic. New version of the journey was awesome. Love is you rocked. Oh you pretty things by Bowie is a nice addition to the set.

Sat with fernie from the band Humbert after the show talking about our new album. Listening to the tracks. His band played before ours did that night. They were awe-inspiring. They were the music. They were rock and roll embodied. I told him what we were trying to make and what a challenge it has been. He listened to our rough tracks intently. His eyes closed. Every now and then he would say something. “What this song needs is something out of the measures, just totally fucked up, off of the rhythm of the rest of the instruments.” Or “this song is not sexy. You should scrap it.” He was right every time. It was good to talk shop with someone who was so aligned musically and philosophically.

A lot of reconciliation this week. With little Lisa, with Cleo, Jennifer, (God Jennifer, what a hottie) others. It really reconfirmed for me the importance of communication and persistence. You are either committed to cleaning up disagreements with others or not. Usually where there is a will there is way. And if you are willing to take a look at what responsibility you had in the conflict and forgive, then you can usually clean it up and get along again. That was the major win, and lesson, of the week.

Bas says to me tonight, “I wish there was a way to show the rest of the world that we weren't all blood thirsty war mongers like Bush, that dumb-ass cock-knocker.” We talk about a website where people can post their picture and a simple message to the rest of the world, that we oppose any more wars or violence, but that we are prisoners of our government. One such site is www.votenowar.org but I think we may need more. This site does not show the pictures and signatures of the tens of thousands who have signed it. This site would be a simple message to the rest of the world that regardless of what our president says or does, that we aren't out to hurt you. and we trust that you aren't out to hurt us either. That we aren't half as interested in our rather twisted and brutish foreign policy as we are in just keeping the peace around our own borders and getting our economy back up to where we need it to be.

  

II

Tonight we watched an episode of The World at War called, The Final Solution, about the Nazi death and concentration camps during World War II. We listened as the survivors talked about the screams of the people being shoved into the gas chambers. About their constant prayers to their God. About the utter brutality and the insane game that went on for almost five years as over five million of them were murdered in mass numbers. We heard the stories of the women being stripped and shot with their screaming children still clinging to them. we watched as the bulldozers pushed hundreds of dead lifeless bodies into big pits in the ground. And as Jewish prisoners dragged their friend’s and relative’s skinny-little chicken-like bodies through the dirt into mass graves that they themselves had to dig, only to be shot and thrown into when they were finished.

As we watched, we talked about this concept of God that we carry so strongly within us. As many of the survivors talked of God and asked the question where was God when these people were screaming for him to help them, day after day and year after year. Many of them who were very devout Orthodox Jews before they got to the camps could not understand why God was ignoring them and so they killed themselves when he did not eventually offer any help or means of salvation for their plight. They realized for the first time that perhaps we really are alone here on earth. Where strength and the will to live, and not justice or God, rule the land.

Went to see new world school of the arts one person shows at a local theatre. Really good. Inspiring. So much talent all over the world. Thinking about a website that acts as a simple server where arts organizations can upload their shows, art exhibits, photo exhibits, film events, plays, concerts on their own so people can be in the know about what's going on. Yesterday two different people told me that Miami was a cultural vacuum, which is really hilarious because it is the opposite of that. Tonight I had to choose between an indie film opening, a photo exhibit opening and this live theatre thing, a songwriter in the round concert at Wallflower, and an anniversary concert at tobacco road which I may still hit later tonight. And of course countless other events. So it's just people don't know what's going on. Art is thriving in Miami. There is always too much to do.

Four minutes to cook your dinner in the microwave can seem like an eternity, while four hours in a dark room with someone you love can seem like four minutes.

Current Spin: phantom planet, the guest. Love it. Sigur Ross, the new one. Love it more. 

Last Movie:  Eddie Izzard, Dress to Kill. Amazing, brilliant, funny, amazing, brilliant, fucking amazing. And LaLee’s Kin: The Legacy of Cotton. Moving study of education and current social and economical situation in rural Mississippi due to cotton industry enforced slavery.  

Lots of emails from Muslim fans and friends re one of my last diary postings. Interesting. They are not all .... terrorists, obviously. Too bad the whole world cannot convert to Hinduism. We don't see them running around the world killing people like some other religions we know of. Nod-nod, wink-wink, and I don't necessarily mean the Muslims. Even Buddhism would be good. Of course we would have to change that awful first law that “life is suffering.” Talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy. Even if we changed one word. Perhaps “life was suffering.”

Saw Andréa Boccelli last night. Not quite Domingo or Pavarotti, but I don't think he aims to be. He has such a signature sound to his voice. It is all his own. so he doesn’t have to be anyone else. He is who he is. First half lots of classic opera and Neapolitan songs. Very romantic, beautiful stirring music. Then a moderate dose of his more contemporary pop-opera, a genre he didn't necessarily create but certainly defined in modern times. He even sang his own version of My Way by Paul Anka. He also played the flute and the piano. Wonderful. Amazing day today.

Spoke with Jennifer today for over an hour. Reconciled, resolved, worked through. We both left the conversation feeling more alive and refreshed. Met with friend of a friend who is a PR girl who offered to help the band get more press and publicity in northeast. Really smart person from new York. Talked for hours about everything from business to politics to modern culture. Refreshing.

Later tonight overheard a man talking about the film Koyaanisqatsi and others. We started talking about music and film. Turns out he is Jeffrey Lew, one of the producers of that film and many others. We had a real synergy. Mad fast-paced wide-eyed half-sentences about everything from film to music to religion to Indians. Spoke about a few upcoming film and music projects. Going crazy without an assistant. More interviews tomorrow. Six weeks now. Perhaps I am already crazy. 

A cat will attack anything that it sees in it's space that is smaller than it is, except maybe for another cat. They will attack and play with until death a mouse, a bird, a lizard, all insects, a frog. Objectively it's really strange instinct they have to just kill anything they see. They have no ethics about this. If it crosses their path, they will hunt it down until it is dead or plays dead or is unable to move. They do not seem to have any goal in doing this. They certainly would never eat any of the things they kill.

From a recent email from a friend:   “But the truth is that some work to become a better person actually negates self, casts doubt within. Accepting and loving who I truly am, flaws and all, helps me more than I could ever have imagined.   "Fishy--- Well, this is so timely .... as I am finding many flaws with myself lately ... primary: I am happy to be me : )"

Yes so where do you draw the fucking line between being at peace with yourself just the way you are and deliberately attempting to become a better person? Well, she's got me there… that's the million dollar question. Breath in. Breath out. 

Working on The Transcendent Manifesto.

Last Movie:  Bedazzled, with the amazing Elizabeth Hurley.

Rehearsal tonight with the band. More news from the big time talent show people. They are asking that all bands sell tickets to the event at a price of $65 per ticket to our friends and fans. Of course the bands will not actually get paid. Funny. Doesn’t this sound familiar? We all had a good laugh and decided to not participate.

Last Movie:  Recently declassified war-time educational movies about America’s atomic bomb tests.

Turns out that North Korea now has at least two nuclear bombs. And several different companies have sheepishly confessed, or announced to the world, that they now have cloned humans on the way in January. So things are really looking up for us in the New Year. 2003 promises to be one hell of a good time indeed, what with the new invasion of Iraq and the slumping economy. .

Had a reading today with a lady who claims to read your soul history from the Akashic Records. Cannot comment yet. Need time to integrate.

Current Spin: Tom Petty new one, The Last DJ. This is a really good album. He is at the top of his game as a songwriter. Not much sonic exploration, but just really good songwriting.

So good to be home again. I got off the plane and wanted to hug Miamians. Why? I don't know. When you get off the plane in Miami, the first things you are immediately struck with is one, the hot and humid weather—it doesn’t matter where someone is from—this is one of the first things they comment on, and two, the sound of Spanish being spoken all around you. They say there is a lot of Spanish in Phoenix and in Los Angeles as well. That just means they’ve never spent any time in Miami. I am sitting out on the back porch now smoking a very strong Cuban cigar and writing. I feel so good to be home. I walked in my home and felt such a sense of relief and comfort. They say home is where the heart is, and I just left my family and a big group of some of my best friends. So why do I feel so good coming back here? Went to the Grove for dinner and was immediately taken by the sheer number of beautiful people we encountered along the way.

Thinking more about the art and music scene here and in New York and in LA. And I feel that we have a pretty good scene after all. It’s very centralized which is a good thing. The music scene in LA seemed so cynical, almost kind of washed up. The kids and musicians I talked to on the street and in the clubs in LA had such a ‘it's impossible’ attitude about it. I don't necessarily think it's any better here in Miami or in New York, but that it just depends on where you are. You make your scene where you are. Now if you happen to be in Iowa, yea maybe you should think about moving. But in any big city USA, you can blossom and grow your thing, whatever that happens to be. There is so much great talent in Miami. It just needs to get out to the people more. The people need to start working together more to get the word out. Miami is ready to bust out nationally. People have been saying it for years. I'm beginning to believe it.

On the beach right now. Sitting in the sand of the Santa Monica beach watching the sunset. A mountain range to my right. The ocean and setting sun in front of me. Endless beach and more mountains to my left. And palm trees as tall as skyscrapers behind me lining a highway that winds on forever up and down the coast. Don't have sunsets on the east coast. Very cold here. Dry and cold. Somehow it feels different. California is very big. Too expansive for words. Just the sprawling beach, the sand between the pacific coast highway and the ocean is longer than a New York City block. In fact, the average California palm tree is a longer than an average Miami block. Everything is big in California. Driving through Santa Monica, sunset strip, west Hollywood, pacific palisades, Brentwood, Beverly Hills, it feels like any minute some guy in a Baseball cap is going to come out from behind a wooden façade with palm trees painted on it and yell “cut!” everything looks like a movie here. We found out tonight that Larry David lives here in this neighborhood a few houses away, and his show curb your enthusiasm is filmed here in this neighborhood where mike and Beth live. You eat at your local Italian restaurant and two days later you see it on TV. That's California.

Also very beautiful. It offers amazing greenery, great beaches, mountain views all around you. And more than that, the people seem real, more real, sincere. A lot less bullshit than on the east coast, which is funny, because everyone I have spoken to here says that you have to watch out for the bullshit or the fake and phony people. Maybe they have just not ever been to Miami or fort Lauderhell. The problem is that there really isn't a city here. there is just little cities all over the place nestled amongst sprawling neighborhoods. Neighborhoods and more neighborhoods that go on forever. But no city really. That is California.