Slept 11 hours straight last night. slept right through the phone ringing and alarm going off. Didn't even hear them. The gradient is high here. the pulse is fast. the day to day grind is very difficult at this level. The walking everywhere, the cold, the expensiveness of everything, the subways; the no car scene is truly grinding if you are not used to it. the fast talking, no bullshit, no time for small talk mentality is stimulating and inspiring, but it still takes some time to get used to if you are just getting into it. can tire you out quickly. Last night I just dropped by midnight. Fell asleep with my clothes on. And woke up and realized that I had slept eleven hours straight. Don't think I ever did that before.

went to the gym tonight. awesome. last year I went to the gym a total of three times probably. Just slammed it working so hard all year. but not this year. I have to make the time to exercise. It feels great. Good vibes being there. sparks flying out of my brain with ideas.

Then to this cool and cozy club called Carnegie bar and books in midtown that is like half library and half jazz bar. Good times.

Current spin: serge gainsebourg, du exterior. Back on the French music tip. Try to make the learning of the language easier and sink in faster. This is cool laid back French tunage. Good for early morning or late night.

Everyone in America is outsourcing to India now. there is only one thing to do and that is to invest in Indian companies and start moving money out of American companies, into up and coming overseas companies; except the ones who are doing the outsourcing, perhaps they will find a way, through the outsourcing, to keep costs down. The biggest prob is that the American consumer is going to be disappearing as more and more American jobs disappear. This isn't going to last forever. I believe we are a resilient people and we will find a way to kick back, but for now, and the next few years, once the credit bubbles burst, and then the over inflated real estate bubble pops, and then even the rental market dives, retail sales will plunge for a while as consumer spending continues to take a turn toward the downside. If we’re lucky and smart we will take every red cent we have and invest in overseas pan-Asian telephone, customer service, and tech companies that are just starting to kick ass now. their gain is through our loss unfortunately.

Its funny how most people talk about it, they make jokes about it, but they have no idea what it means, don't see how its affecting us or our economy, and have no idea how to profit or even prevent themselves from losing because of it. its like they don't take it to the next level. To them its enough to just crack jokes about the Indian on the other end of the line when they called AT&T the other day. anyway, for me, I think it sucks still and when I get one on the phone I always just ask to be transferred to America. I just can’t deal with how they can’t understand what I'm saying. they never get the real point I'm making. Its fucking crazy. I'm just like, ‘o.k. look, I know this isn't your fault, but you didn't answer my question at all. Can you just please transfer me to America? Please?’ that's where I'm at with it at this point. I just don't even want to deal with a company that is transferring their calls to India. I don't have time to deal with the thirty minute call trying to get them to understand basic shit. their nice and all, just not efficient. If we all did that, we’d get our American customer service reps back.

I'm in French class the other day and their language is seriously fucked up. just in dire need of modernizing and logicalizing. I mean, so is our beloved English language. Allow me for a moment here in case we need a reminder: “rough, bluff, dough, tow, go, toe, plough, wow.” This is my own little invention to remind me of how fucking insane English is. nothing phonetic about it. at some point if you are learning English its just going to come down to learning and memorization.

Anyway, I had this vision in class that soon, at some point, eventually there is going to be a massive cultural revolution human-wide, this won't be all of humanity of course. places like third world countries will not be included in the same kinds of revolutions and changes that first world countries will be, but their own shifts.... But the majority of modern civilization will go through this kind of cultural revolution. Already seeing it with the EU and the Euro. We will see human society becoming more politically correct, more secular, more gender-neutral, more inter-racial, more same-sex, more protective of human rights.

Languages will start to change. Become more logical and more phonetic. Finance will become more streamlined.

Think of the word doughnut. That word has all but disappeared, having been replaced by the more logical and phonetic ‘donut.’ This will continue to happen little by little.

Think of things such as the following: the increase in same sex and inter-racial marriages we have seen in the last thirty years. the change from stewardess to flight attendant, the change from mankind to humankind, the change from actress to actor for both sexes. etc.... this is only the beginning of what we will see in coming decades. At one point we will see one giant shift towards the doing away of a lot of the old world traditions that don't make much sense in our languages and in our cultures through specific mandates and large projects. America should certainly shift towards the more logical metric system. that's for sure. What the fuck are we doing still on this weird system we use now that makes no actual sense? I don't know but it won't last forever. and hopefully France will start modernizing its language a bit so the rest of the world can understand what the hell they are saying.

This is a new book, Welcome to the personal expression age.

What strikes me most about this new ‘I will approach girls instead of waiting for them to approach me’ resolution of mine is how difficult it is. I must say I have not found it easy. I mean, its easy to see a really knock out girl at the store or on the train and stare at her, but its another thing entirely to start up a conversation with her. for me it is not coming easy.

Check out this cool timeline of the history of the universe:
http://www.pbs.org/deepspace/timeline/index.html

Last screening: pentagon papers. This is a good enough movie but a great story. We need more renegades in America today. more people willing to go against the grain and defend our suffering democracy. Let the revolution begin again. we are too asleep right now. well perhaps, “we” aren't, but plenty of people still are.

An amazing day with Mitch. brunch in the union square area. Then walking all around the downtown area of the city, just meandering with no intention, catching up. hadn't seen each other in almost two years. he's lived here forever so he showed me around. all the cool places. We strolled through noho, soho, nolita, the village, west village, Chinatown, little Italy. Walked for hours. Literally all day. what a beautiful varied cultured city this is. no place like it in the entire world.

And then I trained up to what I thought was going to be this cool church uptown that advertised a full gospel choir at a 6pm service. But no gospel choir at all.

I decided to stay anyway just to cop the God vibe. But what I got instead was, well, the usual perverted and distorted view of reality that the Christian religion offers as its usual fare. I mean, I went there really wanting to dig in, you know. I mean, I was raised Christian so its easy to sort of try to overlook all the untruths and half truths in their beliefs and just cop the positive vibage, in spite of all the holes and problems in the fundamentals of what's underneath it all. sometimes I can do it and sometimes I cannot. When its more open minded and just good positive vibes I can do it. like the Unity Church. I can dig that. and when there is kicking Pentecostal preaching and grooving gospel music going on and tambourines shaking I can get into it and forgive them for all the other misgivings inherent in their limited understanding of life on earth.

But not tonight. within five minutes I was realizing we weren't in Kansas anymore, or better put, we weren't in nyc anymore; it was more like we were in Kansas. The preacher starts reading from the book of Samuel in what they call the bible about how this God that they created and still find a way to believe in after all these years had instructed Saul to completely exterminate the entire city and all of the people of amalicyte. The whole sermon was about how Saul didn't do this completely and wanted to save the king and save the best of the sheep and lamb and how much of a sin that was, to disobey this God.. And I'm sitting there thinking ‘who the fuck believes in a God who instructs people to kill whole cities and whole nationalities of people?’ I mean, who in this day and age is still so ignorant and unevolved to still believe in a God this base and impure and un-transcendent? And yet I was sitting in a room filled with these people.

To imagine that these people take the bible as something holy... I was filled with fear for the human race for about thirty minutes while I was sitting in there. ‘these people are hundreds of years less evolved than we are’ I was thinking. they are taking this crap as some kind of holy word of God, real eye for an eye stuff. real low-minded unevolved stuff. and I was really saddened by it. the preacher is screaming that when God tells us to destroy a whole city and all of its people then we better listen no matter what. and I'm thinking ‘you have got to be kidding. This has got to be a joke. There is no way these people believe this shit. and yet clearly they do. they believe that God is a spiteful vengeful God, that he wishes to kill people. that he wishes us to kill people. and yet one of their ten commandments is thou shall not kill. Crazy stuff. absolutely insane asylum stuff. the only thing that stops us form locking all the Christians up in insane asylums is that the majority of the country are still Christians. But by all logical accounts their beliefs are so unfounded and so dangerous that they would all be proved entirely insane in any court of law. But because the whole country was founded on these Christian beliefs we let it all fly and hang out no matter how ridiculous it is.

Wow what a day. non stop phone all day long for twelve hours. A little business; a little pleasure. Has to be because it’s the new year and everyone is getting back from vaca. Lots of cool talks with friends. Which I love. A totally full day on the phone which was great because I just got back to the city and have so few friends here so the days can get lonely, all work and no play type of thing and I'm so not used to that back in Miami. even spoke with the lovely Juliet. I must say my heart overflows with love for her. at this point I have no idea what kind, but I'm happy loving her just like this without definition. Our conversations are like roller coasters, just really fun and joyful, bouncy rides filled with laughter and the occasional deep thought thrown in for fun. she shared with me where when we were together there were a few times when we would look at each other, when our eyes would meet, and it felt to her like we were looking into the eyes of someone we knew for millenniums (millennia?), she says; as if we knew each other since we were protozoan. [Gotta be one of those science terms I missed out in high school skipping classes to go smoke cigs.] But what a beautiful thing to say. Some people you just love in this lifetime because you love them. and with other people its like you're feeling something deeper, something older happening, something lifetimes older.... following the scent as she says. Looking for clues...  some people follow us through lifetime after lifetime I believe.

But things are flowing in the universe since I've been back. today was fucking action-packed. and it’s a wonderful feeling to be back in my life.

A new one: “when the bong goes, the money flows.”
Not to be confused with last month’s classic, “The bigger your network, the bigger your net worth.”

What's the fucking deal with the way people pronounce cities and states in America? The people down in Texas call their city spelled Houston ‘huseton’ for some reason. And no one knows why. now we have a very famous street here in New York called Houston. Its in the village. Everybody knows it. and everybody knows its pronounced Houseton. Not Huseton. If you come to New York and you pronounce Houston street huseton they are going to look at you like you're from another planet. Its clearly spelled Houseton. But these people in Texas. What is that? and then I heard that in Oklahoma there's a city called Miami. why? who knows? but they pronounce it ‘Miama.’ Seriously. Why? who the fuck knows. and then there's Missouri. Some people pronounce it Missouri as its spelled and then others in the same damn state pronounce it ‘Missoura.’ Why? who the fuck knows. but the worst one of all is Arkansal. Now I know what you're thinking. there is no state in America called arkansal. O.k. fine. Then why the fuck do they call it arkansal if its spelled Arkansas? I mean, who were these fucking morons who came up with this crap? I think we should have a new constitutional amendment added, right along side that stupid banning of same sex marriage one. from now on, pronounce your fucking city or state the way its spelled or change the fucking spelling.

Reminds me of what they call ‘football’ here. How in gods name did these people invent a new sport, which is a great sport by the way, my favorite for sure, and then decide to give it the same name as an entirely different sport that already existed? football already exists. fine. Why the hell did they call their new sport football? Especially since it isn't even played with the feet. And then they have the nerve when they realize their blunder to rename the already existing sport ‘soccer.’ So the whole rest of the rest of the fucking free world is calling football football, but Americans are supposed to call it soccer and look like assholes to the rest of the world. And then when they say football they are referring to this new sport that's only played in America and doesn’t have anything to do the real football and isn't even played with the feet? We are a sad lot of rejects and outcasts sometimes.

One more thing. baseball. stop calling it ‘the world series’ when only American teams are playing in it. its not the world series; it’s the American series, or better put, the American finals or championships or something like that. you can imagine some baseball player telling someone, “man that was back when we won the world series...” “Holy shit man. You won the world series?! That's fucking great! Wow. Who were you playing? Manchester United? Brasil?” “Oh no man. we were playing Philadelphia...” “Philadelphia? What country is that in?” fucking crazy. America has a lot of growing up to do.

[and ps – Bloopy all of a sudden doesn’t want to be in the band now. if its not one thing its another. Always something. things are moving so fast at this point I can’t even think about things like that anymore. Guys are in or their not. You do your best to be a good mate. But you can’t take it personally. Even though you can’t help it. this shit fucking kills me. rips my heart open. We’re supposed to tour the northeast in Feb. and our agent emails the venues and dates to us and Bloopy says he doesn’t want to go. I love this kid like a brother. Seriously, like a little brother. So I'm crushed. I'm not even telling the other guys yet. But I'm thinking, ‘hold on, were going to take off and play a bunch of gigs all over the northeast for a few months to peeps who love us and get paid to do it, but you're going to sit in your bedroom at your moms house in Miami Beach and do what?’ sometimes you just have to let people go. Just have to keep moving on. But I'm sad for sure. Ripped up. But I'm just hoping it all works out for the best for everyone.]

The new U2 “hit?” on CNN there was a news piece down in the marquis that read “Rock group U2 released their new hit song, blah blah, today...” o.k. now lets get this straight. The song was released today. but is a hit song already? No better example of the bullshit propaganda machine in full swing.

Isn't it amazing how we sometimes form really close bonds with people who are not related to us, as if they were part of our family, and sometimes with those that we are directly related to, our biological family as it were, we may speak with very infrequently or almost never at all.

Current spin: The complete recordings of Skip James from 1930. Old old old blues. Killer. Amazing. wonderful.

Last screening: Life aquatic with Steve zisou. This is the new Wes Anderson film, the man who brought us Rushmore and the Royal tennenbaums. I had read some reviews and was quite concerned before attending. Seems that peeps either love it or hate it. see some reviews:

More like the life BLAHquatic!

Reviewed by khsdofwhyoeyrh 01/05/05
This movie is so tragically un-funny it makes an epsisode of Full House look like comedy gold. Bill Murray is at the end of his career when he signs up for drivel like this. I literally vomited with rage into my popcorn! There were a couple people actually laughing at the lame jokes so I decided to kick them in the head and walk out. This was the worst movie in my whole life and because of its terribleness I can no longer function and feel like I may just snap unless Star Wars is finally good. 
--------------------------
Great

Reviewed by hujadaddy 01/05/05
Anderson is a genius - I was worried that he had somehow slipped up when I read some of the reviews, but The Life Aquatic was, true to form, brilliant and beautiful. Andersen does tend to rely on his signature methods, but that doesn't mean they've stopped working.

Well I was not disappointed at all. in fact I would agree that it was one of the best movies I have seen in years. all of his signature style is there but improved on. All the brilliant use of subtle humor and color galore! Deadpan wit and sarcasm and out of the blue conversation. This movie had a tremendous impact on me I must say. The whole time I was watching it I felt as though I was receiving secret messages from the universe about our new little TV show project actually. Just was that important to me. I will go see it again in a week or so before it leaves theatres. Artists can learn a lot from this subtle masterpiece. That is, if you dig his style. If you don't, you're prob going to hate this movie.

Eggs: What the hell are they?

Was thinking tonight about eggs. We eat eggs. But what the hell are they? I couldn’t sleep from thinking about it. so I had to get up in bed and make a note. it is such a gross thought when you really just start thinking about it. an egg... isn't that the fetus of an animal? So where the hell is the animal? I think its like the unfertilized egg of an animal, something like that. totally gross when you think about it. The worse part is that I love eggs. But who the hell thought of this crazy idea? and why don't we eat the eggs of other animals as well? other birds like turkeys or other birds? Man that would be weird. Why just the chicken? Face it, the idea of us eating the eggs of other animals is just plain fucking weird.

Consciousness

Went to the dinosaur museum today for a few hours. There is something there we are not getting yet. the earth without man? Or man’s consciousness? The entire world and whole universe without intelligent consciousness? Frankly I don't believe it. call me anthropomorphic, or whatever that word is that defines when people project humanity onto everything, but I do not believe that there was a time when WE, human consciousness, were never on the earth, or in the universe. Period. I just don't believe it.

I will never forget the moment when I first discovered it. I was in deep meditation, or tripping on acid, can’t remember, about fifteen years ago. Sitting on the floor of my bedroom as a teenager. Scattered about my room were many books. Mostly on science and religions at the time. in my meditative state I had opened my eyes for a moment and happened upon a picture in one of the books of some dinosaurs. I went back into meditation and had this realization that there was no way that the world was spinning on without our consciousness, as we are told about times during the dinosaur periods. There was only one logical explanation for the quandary: that we were actually dinosaurs, in dinosaur form, before we were in human form. Our consciousness was at least. I just sat in this understanding for a while and tried to imagine what life was like back then for us.

Since we invented the concept of God, then the theory that we weren't around for hundreds of millions of years and yet other living beings were, like the dinosaurs, is like admitting that God wasn't around, and therefore didn't create the universe at all. unless we are to believe that the dinosaurs were intelligent life. which most people don't. But I would argue with them on that point. I've said before and I will say it again and one day it will probably come to pass that a very smart scientist living God knows where will get the credit for “discovering” or “inventing” the theory that we, human consciousness, were actually dinosaurs for hundreds of millions of years before we became extinct and then re-evolved as humans in our current form.

After all, try to imagine a universe without our ‘consciousness’ existing in it, without ‘intelligent life’ in it. impossible yes? exactly. precisely. Indubitably. The truth is that we at one point came to exist on earth, were birthed in the great universe at that point in time, as dinosaurs, because that is the form we needed to take at that time because of the environment of the earth. We could not have existed as humans at that time. So are we to believe that intelligent life did not exist at all in the entire universe? Hardly. We just didn't exist in our human form that we now exist as. But we certainly did exist. Intelligent life must have certainly existed, since time began I would assert, and since we are the only intelligent life we know of on the earth and throughout the history of the universe, at least we tell ourselves that we are at this point, then why not assume that we took the most practical physical form necessary for our survival at that time? I am surprised that no psychics have ever gone into trance to vibe into the whole dinosaur consciousness to get a better feel for what we thought and felt during those times. and I am even more surprised that no scientists have discovered or postulated this theory as of yet.

Spoke with the psychic by the name of Echo Bodine, a rather famous woman who lives in Minneapolis, MN. Good stuff.

Current read: Studying history of Tibet.

With an average elevation of 4,900 m (16,000 ft), Tibet is the highest region on earth. For this reason, it is sometimes called the Roof of the World. Most of the people in Tibet live at elevations ranging from 1,200 m (3,900 ft) to 5,100 m (16,700 ft). Tibet is also one of the world’s most isolated regions, surrounded by the Himalayas on the south, the Karakoram Range on the west, and the Kunlun Mountains on the north.

Holy shit. I watched some TV tonight at moms house. back in phoenix now. just relaxed and watched a bunch of reality TV. What a crazy world we live in right now in America. Reminds me of that old Arnold movie, Running Man. Like that. things are crazy on TV these days. a perfect time to enter. Who crazier than thou? Haha.

New Years Resolutions

A fabulous new years eve spent quietly at home with the fam for the first time in many years. But as much as I was apprehensive about my decision earlier today to stay, I must say that I had a great time. I was supposed to fly to L.A. to hang with the sir Michael and lady Beth Ann, but I have been digging hanging with my family so much while I've been out here that I just didn't want to leave them. so I stayed and never flew. May head to L.A. on Sunday instead. I cannot explain how much being with the fam this holiday meant to me. I feel a lot happier and grounded; recharged and refueled. Something changed in me as well in the last few weeks. I really got into this whole kids groove and for the first time could see myself getting married and having kids one day. Not just in an imaginary way like in your mind or in a video or something, but actually saw that I could do it and enjoy it, would welcome it now. crazy. I'm not saying leave the business and become a mainstreamer, not at all. I'm saying do it in spite of still being in the business and staying outside the mainstream. Do it in my own cool way. if I can find a cool non-mainstream wife who digs the idea of having a big family. [but I'm also not saying going totally overboard and naming my kids Dweezil and Moon Unit either. Has to be a subtle in between kind of a thing).

Anyway, we rang in the new year right. lots of Champaign and all of us singing and dancing and all the kids around and I must say that it was very merry and homey and fun. I am very lucky to have such a close tight knit family. It just took me a fucking long time to dig how cool family was. if you would have told me ten years ago that I'd be taking in the new year with my mom and brother and sisters and nieces and cousins at my parents house rather than being at some party somewhere with a bunch of friends, I would have told you that you were fucking nuts. But it was good times indeed. My heart feels warm and smiley and I will fall asleep tonight with a big smile on my face feeling very cozy and full of joy. As Mindy would say, family rocks.

O.k. time for some new years resolutions:

1. Clean out stuff from the last twenty years. All things items AND habits and thoughts that are no longer serving me. Free up space and time and energy to allow new things to come in and feel a fresh start for the New Year and a new life from now on. 2005 is your year of creativity and fulfillment.
2. Practice more and master the art of extending the least amount of effort to achieve the biggest and most rewarding results. This is definitely the highest priority behind clearing clutter and freeing up space this year.   
3. Figure out and find where the fuck I am supposed to live and actually move into a place rather than living out of boxes. I've been living out of boxes since July and I have had enough of it. 
4. I will sign up for French class here in America again and get through the first two levels where I can actually speak French and then... 
5. I will go to France and study French for a few months in Paris. Spring or summer time would be good.
6. Speaking of which, I will register for sign language classes when I get back to the city. there is no reason not to speak sign language. Makes me feel like a loser. That would be cool to be able to communicate with people in that language.
7. From the get go, the most important thing is this: Focus the most free attention on whatever is going to bring in the most money the fastest so I can start delegating more again. delegating is key. Delegating is power. and right now my most immediate need is to have more money available to delegate more.  
8. Be more artistic. Allow/open myself to be more artistic more of the time. have to get mooooooooooooore into the flow of pure art, flowing art, all the time.
9. Me and the boys will finish the new album we started in October and it will be our best album ever. I want it to be the best album I have ever been a part of and I am willing to get totally out of the way of it to make that happen. if that makes sense. I know what it means. 
10. Develop more partnerships. This is really cool and interesting that in the last three days three separate friends of mine have shared with me this same resolution for themselves: acknowledge their strengths and weaknesses in everything that they are doing and develop partnerships with other people that can help fill their needs so their projects are more flowing, and I have been working on developing the same habit. stop trying to do it all yourself and get other like minded people on board. There's a great book I read last year called mentored by a millionaire that says that this is the number one thing successful people do. 
11. Along the same lines is the importance of delegating more. this is easier said than done sometimes. I have always been good delegating. But lately I haven't been doing it as much because of money, or the lack thereof really. There's tons of stuff we delegate already obviously. If we’re lucky we delegate our laundry and dry cleaning, our massages facials and nails of course, our food preparation when we eat out, etc... but I just want to kick it into overdrive and take it to a higher level. Delegate a shitload more so I can free up more time to do what I'm really good at and what I enjoy doing. True that.  
12. The TV show we started filming the last quarter of this year will get picked up by a major network. Everyone has worked so hard on it and we deserve to see it through. Plus, I got a chance this holiday while vacationing to catch a bunch of other reality shows on TV now and we have something really cool. Don't hate me, but I actually watched about five minutes of the nick and Jessica show a few days ago for the first time and for political reasons I won't say anything except ... we need to get our show on the air. And FAST. I'm not going to say it was every bit as stupid and inane and asinine as I thought it was going to be. I'm going to say it was ten times that. times infinity. 
13. I want to create a way to promote and celebrate GEEKNESS. I'm not sure exactly what I mean by this or how one would do it. But I can feel it. I think that our culture has gotten so totally out of hand with glitz and style and non-substance and hype and crap that we need more substance and authenticity thrown in there to balance things out a bit. [I think ashly simpson and her sister kind of sum it up pretty well... say no more...] We need to honor and celebrate our brains a bit more. and since I am so over the top stupid most of the time I may be the perfect candidate to try to bring some of that out into the mainstream. In other people of course. like if I can just be my cool self and interview smart people that would be cool. I can learn while other people learn watching me learn. That would be cool.
14. I will not use so many explanation points when I write from now on! Whoops. I mean, I wll not use so many explanation points when I write.  
15. Of course I will join a gym in nyc when I get back. haven't been working out the last six months or so and frankly I feel like shit. I live on coffee, sugar, and pizza and that's no way to live. so I will also make a conscious effort to get through this new anti-aging book by Gary null and really try my best to follow his advice. You should read this book and what he says about sugar and caffeine and processed foods. Its some scary shit. if I wasn't suffering from all the symptoms he says we do if we eat like that, I would quickly write him off. The problem is that everything he says we experience when we eat like shit is exactly how I feel. go figure. 
16. I will eat a lot more healthily. More organic, more free range, more whole foods, more natural foods.
17. I will focus less on being cool and more on being human. Whatever the hell that means, I can feel it and I will try. 
18. But on the other side of the equation, I will focus less on being so self conscious and allow myself to start dressing as creatively as I want to again. Like I used to. I think I got such a backlash for the sleep with you album from everyone that I went in to reaction from it and started getting really self conscious about how I was being perceived. Kind of closed up too much and wasn't allowing myself to be the full me for a while. too bad. But not anymore. I'm going to start getting back to dressing as gay and wild and freaky as I want to everyday again. 
19. I would say I will stop smoking so much, but just writing it makes me nervous. So I won't. 
20. I'm going to start a charity of some kind. Some kind of non-profit that gives back. the problem with this idea is that we already have enough non-profits in the world, so there doesn’t seem to really be a need for any more. But maybe I can find a void that needs filling and help fill it. I must say that recently finding out that over 30,000 people die of hunger a day really fucked me up. maybe I can help with that one...
21. I will resolve and finish all business with Cleopatra and get back to a balanced place with that situation.
22. As in one of the top ten tips of success by Donald Trump I will “get even” with all the people who fucked me or the band or any of my businesses this year. I have to say that when I first heard Donald recite his ten tips of success at a lecture I attended a few years ago, I cringed when he said that number seven was “get even” with people who fuck you over. I thought that was so unenlightened. Like revenge was only for mainstream idiots. But now after living such a fast paced lifestyle the last few years and seeing how easy it is for some people to fuck other people over if they think they can get away with it, I have come to a deeper understanding of why he has this as one of his top ten tips for success. He's not saying fuck them over; he's saying “get even.” Meaning, get back to an even playing field with them. So if that means suing them and taking it all the way to the bank to stand your ground and show them that they can’t take advantage of people just because life is fast paced and they figure you won't take the time to go after them... well then, that's worth it. just to “get even” and teach them a lesson. I think it also teaches us a lesson too. that we are bigger than that and won't take shit. makes us a bigger person and makes us more proud of who we are. So this will be the year we get even with a few folks. And I must say my body tingles at the thought of it. 
23. I would say that I will find my wife and get married because I would love to have a family, but that seems more like a fate thing, doesn’t it? and besides, is marriage really a goal in this day and age? I mean, this isn't the old days where you needed to find a wife and start having kids immediately for practical reasons... isn't the goal more to just connect with people and if you do happen to fall in love with someone then perhaps you decide then what to do about it. and really, in the bigger picture, I should be more concerned with just not being so shy and actually talking to girls rather than just talking back to the ones who approach me. that would be a better goal. To just not be so shy. That's a big joke amongst my friends, that I never talk to girls. I just wait for them to talk to me. But this is going to be the year that I start opening up more and actually approaching them as well. cross your fingers on this one. but on a deeper note, still have the goal of not goofing off too much. I don't want this new approach just to turn into a fuckfest like in times past. Still keep the light on for the one and not get too distracted. [o.k. I cheated, I've been sitting on these resolutions a few days now before sending them in to post, and I have thought more about this one. the truth is that my mom is right, God bless her. I should focus more on sowing my wild oats completely before I settle down to get married so I can really be there one hundred percent for my wife and family. Once you go for it, that's it. there's no going back in marriage. its not like school or work, where you can take a vacation for a few weeks. Imagine going up to your wife and asking her for time off to go fuck around with a Swedish cheerleading squad or for a few nights in a brothel in Amsterdam stoned off your ass on hash brownies in various positions in a few mad orgies. I mean, that would be one hell of a wife who would allow that. No, truth be told, these things need to happen first, before I get married. O.k. so I need to reset this resolution. The real resolution has to be something about taking the year to finish sowing the old wild oats. Just fuck like a madman. Just go crazy and fuck everything that moves. That should do it.]   
24. I will start signing more and more other artists to my record label. That is a feel good goal. Really juices me. how will we afford it? how will we make success with it? don't know. But it inspires me. In some cases I will take acts that I am passionate about, sign them to a shopping agreement and shop them to larger labels that can better meet their needs as artists if I feel that I can’t.
25. There is the infomercial project I am currently working on that has the potential to turn into millions. Will finish this project to completion and realize buku dinero from it. this work I don't like so much but its good money.
26. There is also the new business of playersearch.com that recently resurfaced out of the blue just from me thinking about it. will explore this puppy and see if there is some good action that can come out of it. I used to feel really weird about being a rock singer/artist AND a business man/entrepreneur at the same time. as if by being one or the other minimized the authenticity of the other identity. But now I feel that I have integrated both aspects of who I am and can make them both rock and get inspiration out of both. spent some time watching ‘where are they now’ and one thing I don't want is to be twenty years down the road and be a broke singer from a once not so famous or successful band. a person can open up to their true potential, can become big enough to encompass many aspects of who they are, not just one or two.  
27. And last but not least, we have a new album coming out in January. I would like it to do better than any other album we have ever released. More radio airplay, more positive press, more sales at retail and iTunes, more live shows and bigger live shows, and more money in every area coming our way. amen to this one. Fo schizzel. 
28. Also, something about experiencing more depth in my daily life, more godness, more soul, more ritual and more feel-goodness. This is important. How do I do it? hard to get close to nature in nyc. But there are the parks. Hard in winter to go in the parks. Its so fucking cold. Will find a way to get all this and more. need more soul and godness in my daily life. workaholic or not. Need to feel more fulfilled spiritually on a daily basis. 
29. Also, something about opening up even more and not living in fear or being guided by fear or hesitation as much. There is a fine line between being really open and free and just being an idiot who acts before he thinks things through. Have to find that balance so I can do and experience even more out of life but not be an idiot who doesn’t plan ahead. Allow, and this is the key word here, allow myself to open up more and not be so tight-assed. Let myself go a little bit more. Something like that. 
30. O.k. a few more I have thought about the last few days (I am writing from the future so this is actually possible – to add notes to new years resolutions of the past... heh heh.) I will spend less time focusing on social things, on friends and family things, during potential ‘business hours,’ during working time, and more time focusing on business, career advancing, and money making tasks. Too focused on friends and family all the time I am I believe. Need to hone in more on making shit happen. save the social stuff for night time.
31. Same thing with learning, studying, and research. I spend far too much time “working” when in fact what I am really doing is reading or studying or researching different things that interest me. I would be laughing now instead of just smiling if this weren't so damn true. But I have noticed for years that I could be right in the middle of some all important business task like reviewing proposed artwork for a new CD or new PR for a press release or something or even reviewing dates for a upcoming tour, and I'll just stop in the middle and start reading about Genghis Kahn on msn Encarta. an hour will go by and then it will be late and I'll be tired and be like “o.k. well that's enough for today. lets come back tomorrow.” and lo and behold I never got done what I told someone I was going to get done. So what should only take an hour or two usually takes me days or weeks. Cleopatra used to hate this. used to scream about it all the time. I'd be up in my office studying stocks or real estate or cloud formations when I was supposed to be doing the most simple of tasks instead. o.k. well at least I am on the outside of it now. at least I see that this is happening. I don't think I ever even noticed it before. I just could never figure out why I never got things done as fast as I wanted to. But I sure developed a large knowledge base about a lot of worthless things for better or worse. haha. 
32. I will not get ‘caught up’ on things as much and then delay the doing of them. this is about not thinking about things more and just doing them. hard to explain this one. but I can feel what it means. I will see something that needs to be done, and tackle it right then and there. the old ‘email inbox’ is a good metaphor for this tendency. I have messages in there that have things that I need to do in them that are from January 2002 still in my inbox. Crazy but true. from now on: see it, plan it or do it. delete it. period.
33. O.k. one more I thought of: be more watchful of spending money on different things, mainly business promotions or other offers that come in. So you don't get ripped off. Have contracts in place first. Have NDAs and CAs. Have agreements in place first that protect you. everyone talks a great talk when the deal is being made, but then if the shit hits the fan, which it always seems to after the money has changed hands, that way your ass is covered. 
34. Develop more partnerships. This is really cool and interesting that in the last three days three separate friends of mine have shared with me this same resolution for themselves: acknowledge their strengths and weaknesses in everything that they are doing anddevelop partnerships with other people that can help fill their needs so their projects are more flowing, and I have been working on developing the same habit. stop trying to do it all yourself and get other like minded people on board. There's a great book I read last year called mentored by a millionaire that says that this is the number one thing successful people do. 
35. Along the same lines: Delegate more. Delegate a shitload more so I can free up more time to do what I'm really good at and what I enjoy doing. True that.
36. O.k. one more. I will not be so needy. What does that mean? Well, I have an inbox and a voicemail filled with unanswered business proposals and messages from associates, family members, and friends and I feel no juice on this. that's just life. but if I don't get a timely response from someone when I reach out to them I freak out like a motherfucker. Always have. I take it really personally. Rather than just honoring the flow of life. I will accept and honor the flow of life more. that's it. 
37. Work more standing up, less sitting down, in front of the computer. More in the flow.
38. By the end of this year I will own enough positive-cashflow-producing properties that I will be able to support myself solely from the passive income.
39. Finish the Cult Brands and Overnight Celebrity: Welcome to the Personal Expression Age book main key-points (outline it only) and pass on to a ghost writer to finish. Sell the book to a publisher.   
40. Sell The Tribe goes to London script to a Hollywood studio. Outsource the writing now or once it’s sold, or just let them have it.

That should do it. Happy New Year everyone! 2005 will be the schizzel.

Last screening: Mean girls. This is my new favorite movie of all time. At least for tonight. mainly because I love Tina fey for some strange reason, I'm sure it’s the glasses. And Lindsey lohan... well...