The Success of New Religions

Besides being able to detect most genetic diseases before birth, so we can decide if we want to bring the child into the world [though most thinking people would argue that the being is already ‘in the world’] we can now choose the gender of our children. The Genetics and IVF institute in DC has a 90% accuracy rate for girls and a 75% accuracy rate for boys. That's amazing.

It has made me think more about the debate yesterday about God and religion that me and the boys were having. Someone had made a point that religion often times historically was nothing more than a tool for the ruling state. A way to control the masses by the governing class through rules and laws that had no basis or justification in reality --- so the fear of God or the customs of the religion of the day or God’s “law” could all be used as a way to control people, since often times logic couldn’t. (one can easily see that still in force today in the reasons people give for not allowing same sex marriage rights in the United States –- no logical rational or justification to it, so they are forced to use God and religion as the main arguing points against it; and remarkably it works for the most part. In Fridays paper I even saw a headline that read “Why same sex marriage will surely lead to polygamy. Seriously. that was the headline! Fucking crazy people out there. and they're not the ones you think they are. With articles such as those, it’s the puritan right-wingers that are the biggest threat to human civilization. Then again now that you mention it, ever since I first started condoning same sex marriage I have noticed a strange desire within to make love with sheep as of late. maybe there's something to these theories after all.)

Anyway, certainly this is a given, historically speaking, that this is one of the main purposes of man’s religions – to control the masses by the state. I don't think anyone would argue with that one. Most of the western world today call themselves Christians because one man, the roman Emperor Constantine, hallucinated in the desert that he saw a cross in the sky on his way to battle. He decided to start adopting Christianity into his belief system of the time which still consisted of worshiping many roman and Greek gods and goddesses. It wasn't that he suddenly abandoned all of the other gods and goddesses that he and the rest of western civilization believed in, but he certainly started finding an affinity within for this newcomer Jesus into the hierarchy of deities who were popular at the time once he was crowned victorious in the battle that ensued. What's fascinating to ponder is the possibility of Constantine not hopping on the Christian train and instead jumping on board some other religious ship that was in the harbor of the times. if he would have instead discovered Krishna for instance, we would all be Hindus today.

The reason most in the western world are Christian has not much to do with the veracity or the logical justifications for the religion itself, or even how well it works, if one can qualify such a thing, but more to do with the fact that it was the religion adopted by the ruling class of that time, the roman empire, just as before then, we all held the religious beliefs of worshiping the sun God and the goddess astarte and isis etc, precisely because that was the religion of the ruling government. And of course the same was true for the Jewish religion since time began. It was and still is something you are just born into. if you're Jewish, you're Jewish. Not hard to figure out. plenty of people were at the time, but then the government of that time then adopted Christianity, and slowly over the centuries the people then too adopted Christianity. That's how it works. but it’s a slow process. Not a process one can watch over the time span of a single lifetime, but in much broader scope. It is a process, like many evolutionary processes, that takes life times to observe. Its not as if one day everyone just wakes up and decides that they are Christian or what have you.

A few hundred years later, Mohamed gets jiggy with it by himself in a cave and proclaims a new religion based on the same God as the Christians and Jews were digging, but adds a few more misogynous twists here and there, like women always having to be covered in public, and men being allowed to have more than one wife if he could afford to do so, because after all, we know how horny God could get back then. This new religion of Islam was much like Christianity, even the God was the same, but just a more revved up and militant version. it was all about death and revenge. Namely, death and revenge to the white people who ruled the earth. convert or die was the credo, pretty much the same credo of the Christian religion, which at the time, was called the catholic religion, which was nothing more than a cover for the roman empire. Remarkably convenient for himself and many of his Arabian brothers and sisters, the new home of this new religion was right there in the middle east and God it turned out was very Arabian. Just as the Christian God looked very white and Anglo Saxon, and the Hindu God looked very Indian. All very convenient; and a damn good testament to how good God is at creating people in his own image as they all say.

Debate in the office today amongst a few of us about many things. started with this one guy saying that Christians have a moral responsibility to assure that Bush gets voted out of office because of how much he is misrepresenting the Christian faith, and in the bigger picture how anyone who is a good person or a moral or enlightened person has this same responsibility to do so because of how corrupt he is.

Another guy argued that good and bad are subjective terms and how some people might totally feel aligned with bush in some weird way.

I argued that as humans we have an innate knowing of the differences between good and bad. Others argued that we don't have this knowing. And that there truly is no difference between right and wrong or between good and evil. That as living beings, it is more dependent on our survival rather than some philosophical definition of good or bad. What may seem horrendous in a perfect world may seem perfectly justifiable in a moment of good old survival instincts kicking in. I say that if a woman ran into the room carrying her dead baby that we would all innately feel that that was a bad thing. another guy said not necessarily so; that if we hadn't eaten in three days and we saw the dead baby that we could look at it as a good thing, a gift from God even, and then we could eat the baby. Pretty crazy, but interesting stuff.

Great talk with Juliet tonight. I feel when I am speaking to her that it is very close to what it feels like communing with God; there is that kind of honesty and realness to it. no bs and no pretense. I am over my Juliet obsession phase, which is nice, but she is a soul mate. A kindred spirit. Which I like even more. I notice that as a single person that it is easy to fall victim to relating to others of the opposite sex through certain filters, rather than just seeing the person on the other side. We have to remember that the potential for that is there – to see them through this filter as the opposite sex – rather than just their inner person – and to breathe through it so we can get to the person on the other side and see them as they really are, rather than what we might want to believe is there or wish was there just because they are of the opposite sex and thus a potential mate, or bedmate at least. It’s not easy but we can do it. I am trying. I remember when I was very young I saw a very disturbing show on TV about a eunuch. This person was neither man nor woman. and she explained that she had no sexual urges whatsoever. None. She didn't relate to either sex as a potential mate. It disturbed me to end back then. I was too young to see it. it stayed with me till this day. the concept is helpful now though, looking back on the interview. One could see the benefit in that. in just seeing people as they are instead of wanting to shag every girl you see.

To me just looking at places everyday in the ads and the listings and the pictures of New York, it seems like it could get really easy to feel totally isolated and alone there sometimes. Just because it’s so big. You know? I just looked at a place in the lower east side and I swear to God I got the shivers all over my body imagining living there. so far away from everything. I think I would have to be more midtown or uptown myself. Would feel more secure for some reason. Like the park is home base. And the farther you are away from the park, the more away from everything you will feel.

Searching on google for something, I happened upon the words ‘cider house rules.’ I couldn’t remember what it was about exactly but I knew it was a movie. It was a movie that I had seen once. That had won some awards. That starred that guy who is in over a million movies, Michael Caine. I just sat there staring at the words ‘cider house rules.’ I remembered that was one of those ‘won an academy award. Must see it’ movies at one point in our lives. I looked at the date. It said 1999. I thought to myself, ‘wow. So there is it. I saw this movie. I went out of my way to rent and watch this movie at some point in my past. And now looking back, did it mean anything? Does it mean anything to me now?’ I can’t even remember what the movie was about now. what is it about our collecting things like the experience of seeing a movie that seems so important to us in our moment to moment present? And what is it about us that later forgets the entire experience? Was it important at some point? It certainly doesn’t seem important now. so the question that is begging to be answered now is, how important are a lot of these things that we do day to day that we at one time consider important? And more, what is important? In the larger picture of our lives. What is important?

I opened up Outlook and looked at my current task list. 243 items still to do. what an insanely silly workaholic I am. Make sept 11th video, finish ttv website. Research Luxemburg. Research Christian Science. Study history of Colombia. Live in Paris, learn French. Take African safari... the list goes on forever. I thought to myself, how many of these items in the bigger picture are even important? It’s a tough call. I know people who say that once they have children that it becomes the most important thing in the world to them. and as much as I can understand that emotionally, I wonder, ‘so that's it?’ Having kids is it? that's the big rainbow at the end of the tunnel? That's the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? For me personally, it has to be more.

When Cleopatra and I were together, for a time there, I thought that that was meaning enough for me; our house, our stuff, our relationship, our pet names for each other, our friends, our goals, our careers. When that ended I realized that there had to be more to it; because after all, there are plenty of single people in the world who don't have that kind of love in their life. so where is their meaning? Has to be more. and then from there you think about your family. Your parents and your brothers and sisters and all that. and as wonderful as all that is, that can’t be it either. Again, there are people who don't have any of that in their lives either. So there must be more. there has to be some deeper meaning to this life. But what it is I do not know yet.

Woke up early this morning to an amazing and horrifying dream. I was one of the people who had to jump off one of the twin towers in nyc. There was no way down so we were up there and we just had to jump. We could have waited but we were being engulfed by the smoke. We never once considered that we would survive the jump. It wasn't about that. it was more like having to make a choice in the moment between the fire that was about to surround us at any minute and just jumping to our deaths. I was at the ledge and there were a few others. I do not know who they were now. but in the dream they felt like real people to me; people that I knew very well. probably people from the office that I have now.
 
When I was just about to jump that is when I started to become cognizant that it was a dream. I told myself to try to stay in the dream for as long as I could. I have heard the theory that if you die in a dream that you will die in real life as well. right there in your bed. But I discreated that belief and I have died a few times in my dreams only to wake up from them panicking for a few minutes. So I knew that it is possible to die in one’s dreams and still survive in real life. what happens really is that you die for a brief moment and then you wake up and realize that you were only dreaming. Its traumatic indeed. But you do survive.

I stood on that ledge this morning in a complete panic but somehow in control still. In brief milliseconds I contemplated the outcome. I pictured the results of my jump. I laid there with my eyes closed trying my best to imagine what it would be like to just let go and jump off that ledge. There would be no turning back. how long would I remain conscious after jumping? Would I make it all the way to the bottom still conscious? I don't think we will ever know the answer to that question. I have heard the theories that when you jump like that, that you die of a heart attack before you land. I would hope that is true. so that is a belief that I would like to keep.

I scored a bottle of percs from Dina due to her recent surgery. She hates the way they make her feel she tells me. calls me and asks me if I want them. she was my personal assistant for a few years so she knows my affinity for them. one of the many insane duties in her charge was to try to procure them for me whenever I would get the inkling. Usually from the Internet or from doctors who would take a kickback for the script, or the occasional trip to the dentist. [there is so much to the world of rock and roll that cannot even be written about. Suffice it to say that; that for every insane or shocking thing I write about publicly, there are ten more that are totally unspeakable and truly unwritable. Put it that way.] “you know I'm always still looking out for you boss,” she sings to me over the phone after she tells me about the bottle. I love that. I just love how I manage to keep all the wonderful people in my life years and years after our paths cross and uncross.

Bas finally graduated from college. This was a huge achievement for him; and for Cleopatra and me. he had been working on it for about six or seven years. I felt a deep sense of pride and satisfaction from it, since I had been his main supporter along with Cleo for all of these years. this was my way of making up for the fact that I never had that same support from my own family by the time we hit the college years and thus I was never able to finish myself. So it was important to make sure that Bas finished no matter what. I was bit older than he was and was able to make it happen. it was a phenomenal feeling. Just can’t describe it. just an awesome feeling. Another achievement completed.   

I'm on the phone with a realtor in Tucson az talking about investing there. you cannot believe how cheap real estate is there. a three bedroom home for 100. in Miami that would cost 300. in New York it would cost a million.

Drinking a mojito at a café in the middle of the afternoon. Thank God for them. I think I'm starting to need alcohol. At this time. mojitos at least. It’s funny. I never much got into alcohol before. always been too much of a workaholic to be an alcoholic, so to speak. Never liked the way it slows you down the next few days. well that's not true entirely. I've gone through my stages of extreme alcoholism, back in college and on the road. I think that's mandatory, but somehow I always pull out with no problem. like my body is not prone to being addicted to it, which is made all the more strange because I come from a long line of alcoholics on my fathers side. But it never got to me. I can drink as much as I want to for a few weeks or months and then just wake up one day and stop drinking for years. I like how it calms me down these days. I can just sit and have a drink while I work. I am amazed by wireless technology now around American cities. I can walk around with this laptop and log onto the Internet anywhere I go just by opening her up. and with the cell phone, well, you can pretty much work a full day anywhere with just your briefcase and nothing more. we don't even need desks or offices anymore. 

In other news, we have nailed down a studio to record our new album. Up in the woods in Indiana. More later. But no national booking agency.

Thinking of going to Paris in sept. and then to parma, Italy to do more research.

It finally happened. After two years I found Calvin Klein slim-fit black jeans. Button fly, black label. The best fitting black jeans in the world. Seriously. as hard to believe as that is, they arrived today. two pairs. I found this dealer up in Brooklyn who found a way to order them. Discontinued forever, there are only one hundred pairs left in the entire world, at the Calvin Klein corporate factory. Once they're gone they're gone. They fit like a dream. Lena had been searching for years for me and was unsuccessful. I told her that one day I would find them and show her that anything is possible if you try hard enough. It took me two years. Well there it is.  

Whereas before my thinking and feeling always revolved around melody and lyrics, now it is more about rhythms and song structure. Always been a good tunesmith. Could pull melodies out of thin air without ceasing. That's a gift. That has nothing to do with how good you are. You're just born with it. but good songwriting structure, being able to create sick music, that's something you work at. Bands like zep or metallica or rush or queen come to mind. Foo fighters, forget about it, Dave is a monster at it. he took Foo fighters where nirvana could have gone if Kurt wasn't so fucked up. the song structure itself. What it sounds like. How the rhythm works underneath the melody and backing instrumentation. This is new to me. it was always about plugging in and playing along to the song on your instrument. Alright, good take man. Now its about ‘plug in, and stay there till you write the sickest most unique part we've ever heard.

Bloopy explaining the other day how more and more bands are doing that now because songwriting-wise everyone is still writing the same songs over and over again. [not every one. we’re generalizing here. think of beck or the beasties. They're on a different plane entirely as far as how they write. Its from another planet and of course they aren't the only ones. They're lots of cats out there creating songs from a totally different place than the standard.] but for the most part, with rock and pop anyway, its still chords on a guitar or a piano. Think of all the power pop bands or all the alterna-rock bands or all the emo bands. Same old same old. But what has changed is the way the bands are creating the rhythms underneath it all. think of rage. Or think of mercury rev or mum or Sigur ross; same old songs, but a totally unique approach to the sound of it. Jeff and wilco are starting to go there too now on their new albums. Unique approaches. But I'm even talking about going one or two steps beyond all of that. to break the boundaries of contemporary sonics in popular music so its totally fresh ---think Janet Jackson’s music --- and yet don't go so far out that you lose the actual song, such is the case with beck sometimes. Out of this world production, but where's the fucking song? But that's only sometimes. His last two albums, have really been more song oriented. His last one. what a monster. Some deep shit. But then he switched to standard production. Too bad.

As the stallion says, ‘gotta do it, gotta do it.’

We went out tonight to see a bunch of bands play here in town. went to the billabong club, a seedy hole in the wall pool hall in the middle of nowhere on the other side of the tracks. They don't even have a stage, but they let bands set up and play for the fans, and in this non-scene that is South Florida, that's something. Everyone was there. for a brief moment it felt like the old days. seeing people we haven't seen in years. all the different singers and musicians. This band psycho daisies will do that in the scene. They’ve been around forever. have this cult mystique about them. at one point their bass player died and his girlfriend ended up taking over on bass. Things like that. just over the top infamy. So when they play everyone shows up.

Out of the corner of my eye I spotted the Squirrel, who I had not seen in years. usually whenever she sees me she runs. Many years ago she had this idea in her mind that the Wolf and I had put a curse on her. seriously. I don't even know how people come up with some of their ideas. But anyway, she would always run from me in public when ever she would see me and honestly it caused me great frustration and trauma. It just didn't vibe with my overly social nature. I couldn’t make it fit that she felt this way about me since we had been so close for some time. I had always been one of her biggest fans and very supportive. But there it was for years. so for some time I had always just tried to be polite and whenever I saw her in public I would just try to avoid her so as not to cause her any upset.

This night was no different. I saw her and my whole body cringed. Great, squirrels here. man I hope she doesn’t freak out and start screaming and make a scene, as she is prone to do sometimes. An hour later I'm standing at the bar and she starts coming at me. I freeze. But instead she smiles and says to me ‘I'm really sorry for how I have treated you the last few years. I was just really sick and I'm all better now. it wasn't you. and I hope you know that.’ and then she hugs me. I hug her back and before I know it I'm crying. And then she's crying. And its this sob fest. I just let out all this pain from the experience of all of that that I was hanging on to. it was awesome.

Bought a new laptop. But that's not the point. My old laptop was a little over a year old and smoked. A true desktop replacement. But carrying it around on my back all the time, all 8.7 pounds of her, was too much. I didn't need a new one. But I wanted one. Something super-light and super-small. A sleek and powerful machine that I could carry around like more of a notebook. so I shopped around, did the research. I wasn't married to dell. In fact I hated dell for outsourcing tech support to India. Not because I'm against outsourcing to foreign countries, because I'm not. Outsourcing to foreign countries is an inevitability of the global economy, and in the end I believe going to be a good thing for us all. In fact outsourcing to foreign countries is the only chance America has at remaining the superpower that it is. The democrats running on the “we’ll bring your old jobs back to America” ticket is bullshit and they know it as much as the rest of us do. American doesn’t need its old jobs back; we need new jobs. If people are so against outsourcing to foreign countries, take off all your gold, return your nike shoes, stop shopping at the gap, don't use pencils, or any other office supplies, stop going to home depot because everything in there is made in some foreign country. forget about it. globalization is here. yes it sucks for the workers here who are getting laid off, but we have to find the next place where we fit in, we can’t be trying to force our tongue into some chicks mouth who doesn’t like us. Lets put it this way; we've been evicted. Its time to move on.

Got together with the guys tonight to rehearse new songs for the new CD. have about five songs worked out really well. but some of them we are just still so lost as to trying to nail the songs down in their purest form. Bloopy protested one of my songs at one point and I am so not used to that. there has always been this invisible line where we don't cross. For ten years its just been a given that I write the songs and there they are as I walked in with them except for arrangements and beginnings and endings. So at first I was dumbstruck, but then I listened and realized that if we are going to make what we really want to make, something that transcends, something that reaches the level we all want, a level we have never reached before, then I am going to have to open up and listen. He's a young genius who speaks very little, so I listen when he speaks. His own songs are like mini-operas. And I want that operatic quality to this new CD. it feels like this is bound to be the album that never was. Like the beach boys smile. We are encountering in-numerous scheduling conflicts and personal problems within the band that seem insurmountable. But we do have a good start.

Talking about really breaking the songs down to their core and creating our parts like never before, as opposed to the Jackson Pollock style we usually allow ourselves; where everything is just free and we lay down whatever we want to and let it sit however it sits. Nothing is cohesive was laid down that way. Totally not how we want this new CD to come out. this one will take a lot of time and attention.
-----------------------------------
The key is to let go and stop looking for the answers. This is a big life. and the answers are going to constantly be changing. Noticing how much I want to create answers rather than just let go. I am living; and the whole time, in every minute, every second, there is the narrator voice cataloging each event. Trying to make sense of it. trying to box it all in. figuring it all out. but underneath it all I am seeing that it is not important. Today is a day and tomorrow will be another day. and what more is there than that?

Supplement: pregnenlone, the mother of all hormones. Try it. you’ll be surprised.

Current spin: saliva. Metallica. Smashing pumpkins, adore. Nice album. Tender moments in there. never a Billy corgan fan. not yet. but I enjoy this CD.

Last screening: Philadelphia story with Cary grant. Mona Lisa smile.

Two men at a restaurant start talking to me. Are you famous? No. c'mon man, we recognize you from somewhere. who are you? tell us. I am a singer in a rock band. I told him you were a singer. My friend says you might be a gigolo. Laughs. and he knows a lot of famous gigolos? More laughs. no but you know maybe you are an actor. No sorry. More of a gigolo actually. Your friend was right. not much a difference there. How's that? Between a singer and a gigolo. Laughs.
 
And then we start talking more about real estate, an extreme sport I am very passionate about. As soon as someone at the table mentioned rich dad poor dad we were all high fiving and introducing ourselves. Talked for a good hour or so. They live in Tucson. Confirmed what my research had already shown that Tucson is a sure-fire hot spot for quick appreciation and easy buys. The stock market sucks now. everyone is scratching their heads over the impossibility of trying to make money there right now. even the underground analysts, whose newsletters I subscribe to more than one or two. Even they, usually very confident and always bragging about the double digit profits they can make you, are sending emails now saying, “we give up, don't know what to tell you, don't know what to recommend. Get out now take your cash and sit on it.” Which is fine if you're rich. But if you're trying to make money, that advice doesn’t help too much. But there's still money to made in this over-inflated credit hungry over extended market. But you have to know where to put your money. New York is out. Miami is out. all the big cities are out. to over valued. Ready for a correction. I spent about six months researching and came up with about six regions that still had the potential for enormous growth potential. Tucson was number one on my list. These guys tell me they are buying in Tucson at pre-con for a thousand dollars down and flipping for twenty percent profit six months later. Good to know. next stop, Tucson.

I was just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round. So many thoughts. Good thoughts. Bad thoughts. Normal everyday thoughts. Sometimes watching your thoughts feels like a roller coaster. Up and down and all around and back again. All of a sudden I got another thought. And it was something like this: ‘these are just thoughts. None of this is real.’ And then, ‘well then, what is real?’ if this isn't real, then what is?’

Last screening: some kind of monster. Metallica movie. Almost like an acid trip for elementary school kids. You’re just on this trip with the guys. through their ups and downs. Through the recording and the ego trips and the therapy and all. nothing really too hairy; knowing a bit about being in a rock band ourselves we found that it comes across like someone stripped all the good parts out of it and just left the really normal mainstream TV type stuff. too bad because a real documentary about the guys would be great. Something with all the juicy parts left in would have been much better. But this is like watching your parents fight at dinner. Real white glove. All the guys including their therapist and producer bob rock, come off like such pussies, But you have to appreciate that. appreciate where they are, and what they were trying to do by dealing with their problems in a constructive manner, rather than a destructive way. You do walk away with this profound appreciation for the music that they make, and for them as musicians. I have never been a metallica fan. I don't own any albums and when their music has come on the radio over the last twenty years I have always run to turn it off. Beav always used to listen to it in his room and I would always scream to him to shut his door. We’d have music wars between our two bedrooms. My Prince and U2 albums versus his metallica and yngwie malmstein albums. I can’t call up the other guys in the band and say c'mon lets go check out the new metallica movie. They're just not going to be into it. they look at me like I'm crazy. but you know, I'm digging into it now. going somewhere else. totally different musically. Lars is just a fucking monster on his instrument.

I'm telling the guys, ‘this fucking band is spending months perfecting each song. Working it all out, creating fucking operatic masterpieces, and we’re still strumming chords on our guitars. We have to learn from them. there's something to this.”

Called the guys and we talked for a few hours about the new album we are recording. And how the hell are we going to get all that together into one cohesive package.... we want to find a way to bring it all together. Because half the songs are totally over the top heavy rock --- which is going to be a real shock to fans and we know that – and then some of them are the more old style that we have been doing lately, more brit pop I guess. Like pure brit pop. I am trying to get there. to that purity. You know how flaming lips gets there sometimes? Where the song is just out there. just pure song. And of course I am dying to let it all go and create something completely orchestral, more noise oriented, and atmospheric.... but everyone around me is still like ‘ please no, not now...’ But I have this very strong urge to make some heavy music like I've never made before. Just to really go all the way into it. I'm like “guys if we could mix this whole linkin park, rage against the machine, Foo fighters, metallica thing I've been into [that's the prob though is that the guys aren't into that sound yet... at all... only me] with the music that we normally make... with our whole modern rock/brit pop thing...” and they're all like ‘dude what the hell are you talking about? We don't make music like that! we don’t even listen to music like that!”  but luckily Infinito does listen to music like that. so its cool. and Bloopy is going through a big nirvana phase now. so they're into it. Me and Bloopy talking about all of us and we’re all in such different places musically. Vancouver is going through a Billy Joel and cardigans phase so that's just totally out there for us now and for what's going on in modern music. and rockaway is just starting to get into the whole Jet hives thing. but that sound is already totally overplayed and its cool but you don't want to actually make music like that NOW.  So I don't have an interest in making it myself, even though I dig it. but I don't see any reason for us to explore it. as a fan I would love to hear Rufus wainright phoenix and Caetano Veloso meets u2 Radiohead and coldplay meets metallica linkin park and Foo fighters. That would be sick. Like Broadway meets Britpop meets Metal. That would be it. that's what the new CD is going to sound like if its possible.

I don't want people to always be down on us because we change our sound so much. I worry about that. I worry about our three fans not knowing who we are or what we are all about because every album changes so much. But I don't think we can do anything about it. we’re all just so eclectic with our tastes constantly changing all the time. I for one get super-bored with any one style of music for too long. that's why I don't like concerts too much; I just get too bored too easily. Hopefully the fans will be able to keep up with it and actually appreciate where we’re at and what we’re trying to do as artists.

Current spin: St. Anger, metallica. I love it. I'm like an addict right now to this sound. I just never knew how to get into it. I never understood this music before. I'm starting to understand it. just always turned me off because of the overt lack of melody and harmony. All rhythm and grunting... but I get it now. also Saliva, back into the system. survival of the sickest is a great track. good polished neo-grunge.

The Myth Of Faith

Last screening: the last samurai with tom cruise. Hello?! This movie ROCKED!!! Tom is fucking great in this film as always. He's one hundred percent.

It is five am and I cannot keep my eyes open. I must sleep. But I will take some notes before I do because I was inspired by the movie. I was reminded that as the Jews of Europe were innocently slaughtered by the millions in world war two, they were praying the whole time. And as the Chinese government murdered the Tibetans for their own selfish profit and gain and burned down over fifty percent of their monasteries, the Tibetans were a devoutly religious people who were praying the whole time as well. Of course we know where that got them. We only need look to the highly spiritual Native American peoples and their unfortunate demise in the face of the barbaric Europeans (supposed puritans) who conquered the Americas to see clearly the error in depending on a God or a faith for our survival. Success on earth has always come about through brute force, strength, military might, and money; not through prayer or faith or being kind or honest or generous or a good person. If anything, these practices and characteristics, regardless of how noble they are or how devoutly attached some of us are to them, have always worked against the innocent and enlightened among us. As a people we enjoy glorifying noble people once they are dead or fictionalized. But we rarely allow them to live too long.

It is a distinctly human phenomenon that I have begun to call the myth of faith – this belief that God is on our side if we do the right thing or try to be spiritual or good or religious. When we are young and still growing, it is preached to us; how important it is to believe in God, to have faith, to pray, to be good people, to be kind and honest and generous. But as we get older and study our history we are soon struck by the inconsistencies in these teachings as to they relate to what has actually transpired on the earth since we have been here. How indeed it has always been the strongest and the cruelest and the richest of us who have won the battles, and shaped the world we have lived in. It has never been the most devout, or the kindest, or the gentlest, or the most honest or the most religious.

And even if it has been at times the most religious who have won the wars and controlled the events of history, as was the case with the roman empire’s clutch on western civilization, or the Muslim domination through the latter half of the first millennia ad, or the Christian slaughter of the Americans, the most religious has never equaled the most righteous or the purest or the nicest. In other words, it is rare that a people who have dominated in the name of their religion have ever embodied much of the teachings of that religion in their practices, especially not in their business of trying to take over the world.

When we think of the winners of the great battles that have shaped the world into what it is today, whether we are thinking of Julius Caesar, or Alexander the great, or Napoleon or the catholic Church/Roman Empire, or Mohamed and his loyal band of Muslim freedom fighters who conquered half of Europe, or the Christian Crusaders who took much of it back, or the European settlers who murdered entire populations of indigenous peoples in their quest to conquer the continent of America, we can clearly see that it has never been the morals and values of our youth that have helped guide these victories. [Spain and Portugal murdered over one hundred and fifty million native peoples in south and north America. England and Holland another fifty million in north America. That's 200 million innocent people murdered by people most of us can still call our ‘ancestors.’] It has always been the secular qualities of sheer force, brute strength, and having more money than the defeated that has enabled these victories. God and religion have never played into it, even though God and religion are almost always used as a driving force or a justification or a reason to go to battle in the first place.