Making the switch, Finding Character, and Uncaging the tiger

Ashland, So sorry. I couldn’t finish writing to you last night.

Last night Weather Girl spent the night. I know that must sound so loaded to start off an email right? But yes it is true. I was already asleep and she called and asked if she could spend the night (she lives in NJ now so it was too late to go home and she had an appnt in the city this morning). So I made a bed for her on the couch. I was tired and she was tired so I just wrote a bit (hence my late night email last night) and then went to sleep. She woke me up this morning to say good bye and we talked for a few minutes. She is leaving tomorrow for Miami and several other biz trips. I must say, (or else why else would I be emailing you) that it WAS weird.

And YOU are absolutely right. She DOES have other girls she can talk to about that kind of stuff. So why bother talking about it with me? You know? I mean, hey I know I'm supposed to be an enlightened person... but I am also human... and I also know that I am the one who broke up... but again, I am still human... and frankly that IS a weird experience...

But I know how it is when we meet someone that we just totally LIKE or think we do. So they are all we want to talk about. AND honestly I'm glad to see her act this way. Cause I was afraid that maybe she was a robot and didn't possess those feelings. So it’s good to see her crushing like a normal human being in a way... but still...for some reason it does make my chest hurt a little. Which makes no sense cause it’s not like I look at her and think “XYZ.” Wish I did honestly. Cause I'd love for the chase to be over. But I just don't. And I can’t fake it. So why would i be bothered at all by it? Like we discussed, i don't know. Must be something primordial... because it certainly isn't conscious.

You know? So yeah it made me think about what you said. One = the time thing. Needing space away where you can let the thing totally go... meaning your feelings for the person. and 2 = it is important to know that your friends are seeing someone but you don't want to just sit there and talk about it... and she's not even seeing anyone. God, I think about poor Sabine... how she must have felt... what was she doing???? Being friends with ME during that time??? I mean, that must have just been pure pain for her... what a saint.

Honestly Ash, I just think when we like someone, you see, we would rather talk to them or be with them than not. So even if they ARE seeing someone else... we still sit there and listen to them talk about the other person... which is totally masochistic. Really. So yeah that was kind of masochistic for Sabine. What she should have done is just STOP talking to me for a while so she didn't have to be reminded of it...

(but I bet that hurts too... that “wondering what they're doing now” thing” – have you ever been there? I have. that sucks too. It’s a catch 22.)

Well this is good practice for me. Weather Girl says to me “Fishy, I'm really glad you took the time to work on your whole Cary Grant thing...” (an inside joke...) Meaning that she was glad that I was such a gentleman when we first dated... (I wait like six to eight weeks before I even kiss a girl. Crazy right? I know. But I can’t help it. That's just how I was raised.) And then now. How I just act like her friend/brother and don't say any negative stuff and I try to be a good guy and sit and listen to her talk about how she likes this guy X... Which I might add = thank God – because I would always rather have it that way rather than the opposite way, where the girl is just going nuts for you but you don't like her, because that sucks. You know?

Hey welcome to the Transcendence Diaries btw! If I've written this much to you via email that means that chances are this will end up somewhere shoved in between some pages... or else I wouldn’t be writing this much to you cause I'm too FREAKING BUSY right now with other books!

Point is that when she left I thought to myself, “good job old boy. You're a good kid. You did well. You're a good friend. And you handled yourself alright too.” and I even checked with myself and I felt fine.

Ashland, so then I got up and was walking around. Waiting for coffee to arrive actually... Bunny is bringing me some. And I thought about you. I wonder if perhaps because you come off so much older than your age if that's it... you know? I mean, you must have had tons of guys going nuts over you in school. One would assume. (these are all questions I wondered while knowing you the last few years.) But you have this air of properness that is so off-putting to most guys that I bet they were just always too scared to make a move on you.... and I bet your standards are really high.

(well don't we all have high standards? But some of us more than others.) You see, what you DON'T yet know is that I was raised the same way YOU were... but I was the rebel of the bunch and took off to live the wild bohemian life and did my best to attempt to strip all that off of me throughout my wild college years and twenties... So I give off this air of being this crazy wild guy but I have these really high standards and only go out with girls from “the best” families etc... a very off-putting contradiction to most girls. Trust me. And frankly it CAN foul things up because I've been with some of the finest girls there are in the world, but I have this ridiculous yardstick I measure them with... and often times have to let them go simply because I am waiting for Mrs. Right. And she has to be absolutely perfect...

One of the most beautiful girls I ever dated is known as the Italian Stallion. Now remember we are in the Diaries already here. But she is “forget about it gorgeous.” And she was cool. But she said a bad word and I broke up with her. And she couldn’t believe that I was breaking up with her for that... she still doesn’t actually. But I just had to... I mean, I could never bring a potty mouth home to mom if you know what I mean... it just made my stomach church... too bad. But because of the way I was raised I have these crazy high standards....

You see, that may answer a question as to why out of all the girls, I ended up with Weather Girl for a brief spell there... I know people were like “what the hell? He’s going out with WHO??!!!” But truth is, those are the kind of girls I go out with. I just feel more comfortable with them...

But I learned a lot from that experience. A LOT. I learned that I have to ease up on that whole prim and proper thing and let the right girl come in regardless of how she was raised... hence my slight and short lived attraction to Red if you remember that one... you see normally I would never go out with a girl like that. Simply because she doesn’t come from the same side of the tracks. Regardless of how snobby that sounds. It was actually a real stage of growth for me as a person. I realized that you can’t just date a girl cause she DOES come from the right side - like Weather Girl, and then not have much in common and make all these compromises in your head and heart... So I got that. And hence decided that I would open my mind to other girls... and instead of looking for the right side of the tracks I would look for the right heart...

And then I just realized that I am really just waiting for REAL LOVE to strike... like everyone else. Regardless of who the girl is.... the kind that we see in the movies... and well, some people tell you that you’re a dreamer and that's just the movies... but I for one actually believe otherwise... perhaps there is that ONE person for each of us, and I just haven't met her yet. Or else I'd be married already.

Perhaps the same thing with you. You just haven't found Mr. Right. Assuming there is such a thing...

But I'll give you some thoughts for you. From the objective sidelines as a guy. You ready for this?
Say yes. Or stop reading now. Your choice. Red pill or blue pill. It’s your choice Neo.

For one thing, because you do act in “that certain way.” (I recognize it because I grew up in Palm Beach and Naples so all the girls act that way from those upper-class waspy American towns) So for most guys it’s a little off putting because they didn't grow up that way and don't know how to act around girls like that. it’s intimidating if you don't really have something BIG to fall back on and give you major confidence. I mean, hell, if you didn't meet the guy HERE in NYC where there is 14 million people.... but then again I don't know you so I don't know what was really going on... or what you were looking for... But the point is, you have to actually be open enough to give that guy room to make his move in... or else he's going to be too intimidated to do so...

But I will tell you this, once a guy gets to know you, he realizes that you are actually a COOL CHICK. But you would never know it at first because you come off so straight edge at first. Got it? So then a guy’s like what? You're eating at McDonalds? How cool! (not if its everyday. But if it’s once in a while, that is totally COOL.) And other things too. So Ashland Meadows turns out to be a cool girl after all. But she just doesn’t come across that way at first because she is still living through that filter of “the way I was raised...” (wow is that o.k. to even say that to a person? well if Fishy cannot say it then who can, right?)

But you know, a guy does want a cool girl. Someone he can actually talk to and hang with and be loose with and get deep with...

Yeah. Well for what's its worth, that's my two cents. I didn't get to know Ashland Meadows too well. Only a little. And it was really only towards the end that I got to spend enough quality time with her that she opened up – her actual person and soul opened enough and I saw through all the etiquette and protocol -- and saw this super cool fun deep chick underneath that was there all the time. It was actually on the plane in Tangier that I really got to see it. She opened up a few times and I was very surprised. I was like “wooo. Alright. Not only is she cool and fun, but she actually does have these thoughts... I mean, like, real thoughts. It’s not just about tea and cake. Good for her.”

Does that help? well probably not. you didn't ask for help. But still. I think the world of you. I've often spent time in prayer for you. And I've often spent time contemplating just who might be the best guy for you and frankly I think there are THOUSANDS of them out there. But you just have to open up and let them know its o.k. for them to make a move. Show them that you aren't “off limits” so to speak.


So where does that leave us? Well, that was certainly a strange experience. Having Weather Girl wake me up in the middle of the night to crash for the night and then wake me up in the morning to talk about how she should handle this thing with this guy. But it actually just made me feel stronger. More mature. Like, o.k. old boy you really want to grow up and walk your talk? Here's a great one for you. Watch this: BAM!

Can you keep your cool? Can you remain selfless? Can you let go of your “guyness” – that wildcat who just lives for the moment? AND your ego? And can you really be the gentlemen that you were not only raised to be but that your friends, especially your girlfriends, want and expect you to be? And just be there for another person AND act on your true feelings rather than act on some imaginary evolutionary feelings that crop up here and there non-deliberately?

Well it turns out that I can. And I did.


That would have actually been a great ending to a chapter. But just allow me this as a prologue. Here's the thing that I realized from it. We’re there on the bed. She's talking. And I'm still lying there half asleep. I'm not even bothering to open my eyes. And I realized that somewhere there is a switch that takes place. Where we switch from still having feelings for someone to not having those feelings anymore. And even though we might reach that place called “I already know I don't want to be with this person in the long run anymore,” we can still have FEELINGS for them... that attraction is still there. Those underlying curious feelings of “what ifs?”

So we have to allow ourselves time to make that total switch. Or else, as you said, it WILL drag on, even though in the bigger picture we don't want it to... So moments like this morning are sort of dangerous... because if that switch is not totally made yet, then we are still taking the risk of everyone getting hurt or being confused. But if you are strong enough to stay true to how you really feel and what you really believe is best for both of you, then regardless of what might be happening, then you CAN remain TRUE and FAITHFUL to your highest goals for that situation. It just takes strength of character. Yeah. Something like that.


The final chapter – That moment of epiphany strikes:

I just got this major hit! Wow. I was in the kitchen adding protein powder to my coffee. (you didn't know this but alas it is true) I know. It sounds gross. It’s actually a great way to save two birds with one net. And doesn’t taste half bad either. Bachelors without a full-time housekeeper and cook are a dangerous thing. I know this fact intimately. We fall victim to the most dreadful solutions when confronted with such a fate, however temporary.

So -- not to jump back and forth but hey what fun is there in being the composer of a giant five thousand plus page magnum opus such as this one if you can’t just do whatever the hell you want to?

So yes I was stirring this powder into the coffee and I was thinking to myself, "just what the hell am I even doing writing to Ashland Meadows in the first place." And then deeper, “what is it? What IS the message you have for her?” And then it came to me....

Ashland Meadows my suggestion to you is to open up more. Let guys know that you actually are fun and cool and free and actually a bit wild underneath all that. Cause here's my guess about you. (And since I am after all creating you in the first place, sort of, I should know.) But here it is: YOU really want to go off more. Like you sort of are longing to go off the beaten path a bit more.

But the guys that are attracted to you or who feel comfortable enough to ask you out are all super straight edge. But you have this wild side that is longing for something wilder, some real action. Some adventure. Or else let’s face it, as most girls from your group, you would have already settled into something. But you haven't. And why? Because while yes there is this whole “Stepford Wife/Brie from Desperate Housewives” thing going... underneath that is this wild girl who wants to jump into a convertible and drive a hundred and fifty miles an hour down some wide causeway on a small island with water on both sides screaming and singing out loud at the top of your lungs to the music playing. And that's just the start of it.

I mean, my true guess would be that you just haven't met any guys who are totally insane enough to totally capture that wild side of you. Even though you have probably met plenty of guys who fit in other ways. But especially if they always let you call all the shots. Then yeah you're fine in the moment but you aren't being swept off your feet. You need someone like Richard Branson. Someone who is really going to take you on a ride. And I'm not just talking physically. Like “where are we going?” “I have no idea, but lets go!” That kind of stuff, sure. But also someone who is going to take you on a ride mentally and emotionally too. Someone who is really going to be a trip for you and intoxicate your mind and your heart and your soul in a way that is totally unconventional. Because underneath all that fine china is this tiger who is waiting to be tamed. But you can’t tame a tiger if the tiger never even comes out from its cage. So yes, Ashland Meadows is in fact a tiger waiting to be loosed from her cage. But she needs to meet a man who is going to bring that out in her.

More but my fingers are tired.

Find that tiger within Ashland. And let guys know its there. Let out a few growls now and then. Ha! Why wait forever? Half the reason why you are so afraid of settling down is because you are afraid of trapping the tiger within. The tiger doesn’t want to be caged. So marriage scares the hell out of you. (yeah I know) And why wouldn’t it? Because if you really are a tiger then no you aren't going to want to be tied down “forever” to anyone or anything or anywhere. But you have to let that tiger out NOW. Now that I am thinking about it... my intuition tells me that you are fighting inside against this mild but still totally crazy tiger wild woman who isn't going to let you tie yourself down... but at the same time you haven't met anyone who has brought out that wild woman in the first place... So it sort of sits dormant. Waiting. But at the same time it also doesn’t let you settle down either. So you're always on the move.

But the sort of sad truth is that a woman as amazing as you, and I am creating Ashland Meadows to be one of the most dazzling heroines of this entire series, - in fact you have no idea of her fate as I do... - should not be waiting, nor should she be always on the move either... she needs to be RAGING. She needs to be totally living life to its absolute fullest! She needs to be uncaged and let loose on the world.

I will await to hear the news from the frontlines. Good luck.

And hey, welcome to the Diaries.

Lost in the Matrix

Hey Brit,
Was this the show????

So this kid is just like totally into you right? So fun.

I like the skirt.

Wish I could have been there. Next time yes.

The Sweed and I should do a show together. We’ll pack the place. Charge ten bucks per head at the door and spend the cash on drugs and prostitutes later that night.

Did I just say that? Whoops. LOL!

Enjoy this beautiful weather till we get a chance to hook up.


O.k. from here on out we’re in the Transcendence Diaries world so read on or just hit delete cause you know that you-as-Britney are like a character and thus almost more of a tool than a real person.... not that you aren't real, because you quite obviously are, and yet at the same time you are also a character, just as I am... people don't understand that. But some do. They think I am Fishy. They get confused. But you get it.

Yeah, so here are those lyrics. I really like this song. melody and lyrics. Been on a real kick. Little T and I have written 10 songs in the last five weeks. He pounds out lyrics like there’s no more tomorrow and I put them to music. So we are going into the studio to record a new solo album with these songs and a few others I told you about... not that we have a need for a new solo album. But there are no rules regarding any of this anyway. So the more the merrier.

But this song (my song by the way, before I started collaborating with T) means/meant a lot to me cause I wasn't just writing a song. I was actually trying to say something, but wanted to say it in a song... rather than just “write a song” (which is what we do a lot of the time...) But I actually sat down with this intention... I believe I was more like pacing actually like with that in my heart... and was lucky enough to actually be able to sit down and create something really pretty from that intention. Which is just so awesome when that can happen.

Of course, we also have to realize that with all things in the arts there is this fine line between what is truth and what is beauty or art for the sake of beauty or art.... and I think that now, we, meaning WE, have come to that, we get where that fine line is... you know, with you, I'm sort of sitting on the fence just watching from the sidelines... a smile on my face. A proud fan, a loving admirer, a protective brother, a noble knight in waiting in case there’s any action or trouble. A piece of hay-straw in my mouth and a smooth looking cowboy hat tipped just right... Just watching the mayhem from the sidelines. Quite a show.

In the song, it’s a vulnerable place to come from, to write it, and then to admit it, but I mean every word of it, and yet I'm also aware that I don't necessarily, because I'm also a professional writer. I mean, that's what I do. More than anything else. I write. So part of it is just writing a song... which is that fine line that even we the writers can never quite figure out where it is, let alone the people who happen to cross our paths...

I'm not dying inside or anything... I wonder if you have any idea what I'm talking about here? I think if there is anyone in the world who would know what I mean, it would be you. So yeah, I'm going to assume that you do. Like, hey, here's another song. But don't worry. I'm not in pain or anything. I just felt this once and sat down and said “I'm going to turn this feeling into a song.” and out it came. (it was actually more like “I NEED to turn this into a song!” Which is where all the great songs come from... that absolutely dire NEED to put something into song form.... that's where the best songs come from.)

I think it came from that feeling of frustration that I was feeling a few months back when I felt like we weren't communicating as much as I wanted us to. (which is totally selfish I know)... but I was just like “God, I would do anything to be closer to her...” like that... you know. But then you have to ask yourself “well why?” I mean “why? What IS your motivation?” and I'm like, I don't know. Just because. I guess. Wow. Good question. I guess I never thought about that... I just feel it. Maybe just to see what's there. Maybe because I know that you understand everything that I say. That you actually have the capacity to understand what I'm talking about. and that's rare. I mean, it was right there. From that very first moment we met. It was in the space that surrounded us. It was understood. It was in our eyes. It was laughable. I believe we laughed a lot that day. From the knowing. From the absurdity of the circumstances.

Even though as time passes you freak me out sometimes and surprise the hell out of me. But I still get that when we DO connect that it’s as deep as we care to go... there is no limit to the potential for depth. Which again, is just so freaking rare in this world because lets face it we still live in a world where most people live their entire lives caught in the Matrix and aren't even aware of it. Most people are sheep. Just totally deaf dumb and blind. They just don't have a freaking clue. And this isn't being negative. Sometimes people ask me “why are you so negative?” But I'm not being negative by simply saying out loud what a few know and most don't. I'm not out in the streets yelling it from a soapbox. I'm just passing it in a note in the middle of the night to a close and trusted compatriot.

I sat in a room the other day with a small group of ten or so and there were people there in their twenties, thirties, forties, even fifties, and not one of them knew what “organic” meant. Not one of them knew how absolutely horrendous factory farming is or how dangerous or how inhumane or how unhealthy it is... none of them. They spoke about it as if it were some sort of secret knowledge. And this is pretty common stuff. We weren't discussing the Illuminati or the Freemasons or anything esoteric. You know? And these are all college educated and graduated people. People with “degrees.” [Which from an artists perspective, from the wizard’s perspective, you know, is another one of those first signs of someone not “Knowing” capital K knowing. When they are the type that fall into the “need to get that degree” group – which is an amazing paradigm in and of itself – to actually deliberately indoctrinate oneself in order to receive something that you can then use to join the herd – what Timothy Ferris calls the “slave, save, retire too old to enjoy it” crowd.

So I'm sitting there dumbfounded because these are all great people. And super good at what they do. But they just don't have a clue about the most important things in life... there was another event where I came to realize they didn't even know who Ram Dass was... can you imagine? One of the most important figures in the history of the evolution of human thought and no one in the room knows who he is. And then they all start talking about how important can “organic” really be? since “none of it has really been proved” and “there's no science behind it” and “well if it were really important “then the government would tell us something about it...”

At this point I go into slight shock but try not to show it. Right? I mean. These are all friends.... But I'm thinking to myself, have these people never read a book about history? Ever? Do they know absolutely nothing about human history? Do they not realize that “governments” of the world have NEVER told the “people” anything remotely helpful or informative in ten thousand years of human history. In fact that it is just the opposite? That they consider it part of their job to do just the opposite – to tell the people the exact opposite of the truth or what's really going on? (reminds one of that famous quote by Hitler – something to the effect of “It is easier to lie to the people than to tell them the truth. They will believe you more easily if you lie to them.” That's why you only hear about “asbestos” or “DDT poisoning” or “lead paint” or “Phen Phen” after it has already killed millions of people. That's how you can assassinate a president with ten bullets and blame a guy who only shot two and then immediately assassinate him too - so he can’t speak up for himself - and “the people” still believe you.

Precisely because they are so indoctrinated to only believe what they are told. Since we were children, that is how we were indoctrinated. From infancy. All humans. No matter where you are born. If you are human. That's how you can tell those same people that JER killed MLK even though the forensic evidence showed that the bullets IN MLK that killed him didn't actually come from the same kind of gun that JER had -- but the people don't even notice this... by then they are already onto the next story because they got their answer and they’ve moved on to talking about Gwen’s new baby or whatever... and because “well that's what the government said....” You know in that particular case, even MLK’s own wife and family SUED the US government to get JER freed from prison because they knew he didn't kill MLK? I mean, that's about as obvious as you can get. And then just before he died one of the men who actually was on that team hired to assassinate MLK actually came out and admitted to the press that he was "one of the men who did it" and that it was a CIA job and that JER didn't do it but was only “set up” just as he claimed.

And yet if you walk up to ten people tonight and ask them “who killed martin Luther King?” all ten will tell you “James Earl Ray.” And not one of them will realize that they are lying. Cause the truth is that they aren't lying. They just aren't telling the truth. And that's because they’ve been taught from a very early age to speak what they're told to, not what is true.

And so I was aghast this particular night. But not obviously so. Cause you gotta keep your cool when you're with people like that because insulting them by pointing out what they don't know never helps a soul. So I was just playing it cool, trying to appreciate them for who they are and what they mean in my life.... and from a cultural-study perspective I just found it absolutely fascinating. And I started asking myself “So what DO these people know about? You know? We all have the same number of hours in the day. So you have to spend that time doing something... and these are all relatively “smart” people – meaning that there is nothing genetically abnormal with their brains, so they do have the same amount of time and the same intelligence capacity as those few that are on the outside of the Matrix...

So if they don't know about all the important things in life, then what DO they know about? I was fascinated by this thought for some time as I sat there listening to them. But then I get on the subway and I pass by one of those little bodega type newsstands and I see all the covers of the hundreds of newspapers and magazines that the masses gobble up each week and there it was again, you know, the same answer... it wasn't as if I hadn't already come to the same conclusion before. I mean, we all have. At least those of us who have thought about such things.

You see stories about so and so’s new baby, or so and so’s new boy-toy and such and such team just won such and such championship... and you realize that people can actually name you all the names of the college basketball teams in the country and yet they don't know about organic food or factory farming or who killed their own president... and with basketball in particular we’re talking about human lab-rats or laboratory experiment subjects running back in forth hundreds of times in a row on a little square in order to throw a little ball into a small hoop, just like rodents in a lab experiment. I mean this is about as primitive and caveman-like as it gets... this is precisely how one million Iraqi people can be murdered in five years and the “people” of the government doing the murdering can be totally in the dark about it. They watch the lab rats running back and forth and picking up the cheese and putting it into the hoop hundreds of times while hundreds of thousands of their fellow humans are murdered and they tell themselves "don't think about. just try not to think about it. there's nothing we can do about it anyway, so just watch the rats running back and forth... it's safer that way."

Same thing with eastern Asia and the whole Vietnam mass murder. Three and half million people murdered by this same small group of people. And not only are most of “the people” hypnotized into believing that “this is o.k. There must be a reason for it. It is too horrifying to think about so I will watch something else on television,” but the ones that do recognize that there is something terribly wrong with it are unable to do anything about it because they can never get enough of the masses on their side to take any action.

And now we have the poor soul trapped in the body known as "Robert McNamara" - who was one of the masterminds behind the whole thing - finally coming out of the closet over the last ten years because he realizes he is getting old and is going to die soon and wants to clear his conscience and so he has written this book and made all these documentaries and movies and does all these lectures all over the world trying to explain to the people how illegal and inhumane the whole act was and how many lies the government told and how totally utterly heinous the whole thing was and how sorry he was for doing it.... and for the most part "the people” don't even want to hear about it, let alone learn anything from it in regards to how that same thing is happening again right now in our own time...

People ask me sometimes how come one of my best friends in the city is a 15 year old kid - (who btw has been one of my best friends since he was 11) But the answer is obvious. Cause the guy is a freaking genius. There is nothing he doesn’t understand or have the capacity to understand. You know? I mean, he's that smart. So it’s easy. I don't have to dumb down to talk to him. He's a mile or two ahead of me in some cases already.... already teaching me things... its amazing really. I don't know if I've met anyone so smart before in real life. He's just that smart, intelligent, educated, informed, ahead of the pack. The poor kid. He has to show up for “school” each Monday and listen to all the kids talk about this team or that team and how they won or lost some “game” or how they talk about playstation or Xbox or guitar hero or the newest Hollywood blockbuster or whatever and he's just sitting there dumbfounded because he just spent the weekend reading “confessions of an economic hitman” or Cornell West or Noam Chomsky and he can’t communicate with his own peers at all. And of course they can tell... so he isn't that popular. He's a total outcast. He calls me everyday. He has to. He tells me I'm his lifeline to the real world because there is no one else out there that he has access to yet that is on his level except for me. I assure him that as he gets older he will meet more like us. There are people in the world who “Know.” It will just take you time to meet them....”

And trust me, it isn't easy to be friends with a 15 year old. So I've gone to prayer before and asked “lord if its cool I'd be just as happy not having to talk to him all the time. I humbly await your reply.” And each time I hear this voice back in my head very clearly say “You were put in his life for a purpose. Imagine if you would have been so lucky yourself... to have someone such as yourself as a guide and mentor when you were his age?” because I had the same problem growing up. “So Fishy if you don't mind I would appreciate if you remain in his life and do your best to be a positive role model and a guide for him. One day he will not need you. He will find a girlfriend and friends his own age, and you my friend just might be surprised how much you miss him... but for now I ask that you stay in his life until that time comes.” So I stick around and I let him call me everyday and try to be there for him and frankly I learn a lot from him anyway so it’s cool. I mean, imagine that, “I learn a lot from him anyway...” Funny. But it’s true. He's that smart. Just way over the top smart compared to the rest of us.

So what does that have to do with you dear Britney? Well I guess really what it comes down to is that there are very few of us out there. You know, Bunny told me the other day, “You're my only real friend that I can really communicate with in New York. I have friends here. But you're the only person that I've met so far who is on my level and so I pine for you when you're not around.” And that sucks for her. You know. I'm glad things worked out the way they did and we had a chance to meet cause she is totally one of us. She really KNOWS. She's young. But she KNOWS. She's a Buddha already. I'm lucky in that I am now old enough where I have a lot of aligned companions all over the earth who are on our level.... so I don't feel like Bunny does. I have you and Tuesday and the Flow Coach and so many even right here in New York City. And so many more all over the earth now that I'm fine. I have a very strong team of aligned companions. But yeah, so because you and I do share that, of course I was jonesing to be closer to you. Always have. Always will.

Truth be told I get more out of one “Hey” from you on the phone than I can get out of a half hour conversation with many others. Just in the depth of your “hey” and the reminder it gives that “there are more of us out there...” When things seem weird... go off a bit, I think of you. And it brings me comfort that you are out there. That we are out there.

Something like that. So I think that's where the song came from. Glad you like it.

Stay you so I can keep writing more.

me


I would do most anything to get/be closer to you
Yeah I would do most anything to get/be closer to you

I’ll try to be strong for you
I'll keep on writing songs for you
Don't know where I'd belong in this world
It’s true, without you

Repeat chorus

I'll stop by the church for you
Try to heal your pains and hurts for you
Lord knows I've tried to flirt with you
It’s true. I'd do anything for you.

Repeat chorus

I'd give up all my kicks for you
Stop turning midnight tricks for you
If I could get one kiss from you
I'd be happy. It’s true.

Repeat chorus

I'll hammer at the gods for you
Try to make friends with your pa for you
I'll get down on my knees and pray
Everyday for you.

Fade out on chorus


Classic. Love it! Very happy with this one.

And indeed happy that you allowed me to use you as a sort of a racquetball court back wall to shoot out a few quick pages. I am happy to be back in the Transcendence Diaries again. It’s been a while. But it feels good.

Lord Increase My Faith

Well I think its good sometimes to be kept up to date and notified now and then how those little actions we take effect those around us... to lift a thought from one of your long but not lost past sermons... made all the more ironic (or more coincidental) since this particular update is to you and about you and for you.

“My aren't we being evasive Fishy...” he comments and smiles that smile that so many have come to love. “Is there a point might I ask?”

“Yes there is. And no, no sir not at all. I'm sorry. It’s just because I'm knee deep in this ‘book writing mode’ as you know... so even my day to day conversation has turned into this weird sort of... well, book writing style, a novelistic approach... right down to my daily speech and even in my emails! It’s crazy I know. So let me get to the point. Because I do think it is important and actually interesting. At least to some it might be,” I answer. “And it might actually be helpful and inspiring to some.... Or so I thought as I was walking home this afternoon and reminded myself to email you about it.”

“O.k. I'm game. Fire away,” he replies. And I do.

O.k. so to get to the point, what I decided to do after that one sermon where you encouraged everyone to pray to ask God “lord increase my faith” I decided to add it to my own personal morning “recurring alarm” in my pda – you know, the one that wakes me up each day. Now of course I can add to it or take things away from it whenever I please but every morning these are the first words I see... so I fill this particular recurring alarm with very powerful words and images of faith or inspiration usually.

At one point in the last six months I added to the very top of this particular alarm in all caps “LORD INCREASE MY FAITH.” based on this sermon.

And then what I decided to do was start my day like that, immediately go into prayer – that prayer. And then jump up. Within a very short time I decided to start snoozing it for exactly two hours. and each time it went off, no matter where I was or what I was doing I go right back into that prayer. No matter what or where. Important. and then I snooze it again for another two hours. and I continue to do that all day long till I go to sleep. The last one might go off at 5am depending on how late I stay up or what I time I finally hit that bed. So in your average day I have prayed that prayer anywhere from 8 to 12 times.

So this began a few months ago... sometimes I might be on the phone when it goes off. In fact, oftentimes I am on the phone when it goes off, or in a meeting, so I have no more time in that moment than a few seconds to close my eyes and feel the Divine within me and around me and whisper “Lord increase my faith. Lord help me to increase my faith. Thank you, thank you. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.”

What is interesting is that the more you do it the easier it becomes and the more you look forward to it and of course the closer you feel to God/the Divine. After some time of it you might start to find that you are really feeling God or “God’s presence” in your life all the time... as if you are living in It, as if you and he/she/it are connected... as if you have this special bond... as if he/she/it is looking forward to it as much as you are... as if he/she/it is right there in you and all around you/us all the time anyway and thus all you are doing is reminding yourself to open up to that and become aware of it once again in each new moment...

Another thing you might notice is that as you pray this same prayer repeatedly like this – essentially turning it into a mantra – something that not only becomes part of you, but actually has a tangible and palpable effect on you mentally and physically – as mantras often do, and should – that the words, the ideas behind the words begin to bring questions up... questions such as “what am I praying for exactly? Am I asking this “God idea” to increase my faith for me? Or am I simply asking he/she/it to ‘help me’ increase my faith? And more, “increase my faith in what? What am I really asking for? Increase my faith in what? In God? In myself? In “faith” itself?” And on and on it goes... eventually you begin to realize that those four words pack a pretty powerful punch because they can take you on quite a ride if you let them. If you just flow with that mantra and allow whatever words to flow out of your mouth that happen to want to come out, you really can get carried away. It can if you let it become an easy path to an enlightened state.

Because I am now doing this 8 to 10 times a day, there are some times luckily where I might be free in that moment so I will stand up and raise my arms and hands up into the air and give it some time and really pray it “Lord increase my faith. Lord increase my faith. Increase my faith in you. Increase my faith in general. Increase my faith in myself. Help me to increase my faith in the path that I am on. Lord help me to increase my faith in magic. In everything that we read about and are led to believe. Lord take me beyond believing and into pure knowing. Increase my faith that you are here, right here, all around us, inside of us...”

And on and on it goes. Truly no end to it. A few minutes with each session is enough to get you reconnected, put a smile on your face, and a sense of calm and power, certainty and centeredness in your heart. Snooze it for another two hours. And off I go with my day.

Just thought I would share. I have no idea if that particular sermon holds or held any significance to you. Nor where it came from or where it is leading you or others. But this is where it has led me over the course of the last six months. I have had a lot of fun with it. And by God it just may be working.

As always thank you for what you do.

See you soon,
Fishy

Easy to say, easier to know, but hard to feel sometimes

What a day. Granted that after yesterday’s unexpected visitation from no less than Tobias Guess himself – after how many years now? -- not much could overshadow that puzzling and yet exhilarating event to be sure. But still... a few things to ruminate on perhaps and nothing more.

To begin with, we are still totally up in the air regarding which record company or companies are going to release the three albums we have coming out this year. My entire day is spent on the phone at this point with our manager the Big Man in Black and the guys in the band and with various radio promoters to gauge their opinion of “potential singles” and with various record company execs. It is total insanity. And I'm starting to feel the pressure from it all caving in on me...

In other news, we have spoken about this before. So not much need to dig very deep in the setup. But just to catch up where we are with it. Still struggling over a sort of underlying jealousy regarding Sabine and her new found freedom since we broke up. Which I might add was over a year ago... but there is still this thing between us when we do on occasion get a chance to see each other... which isn't often due to her travel schedule. As a professional ballet dancer it just wasn't something she was willing to give up... and me being a professional God only knows, I too didn't want to give up my own traveling... So we had no choice but to end it. Because what kind of relationship are we going to be able to cultivate from that. But I still find myself sometimes entirely transfixed by her beauty, her exotic nature, her mysteriousness, her quick wittedness, and quite frankly, the most sensual love affair I have ever had in my life with a woman. And that says a lot. Because up until that point I thought I had pretty much seen and done it all. But ours was way beyond anything that either of us had ever experienced. We could orgasm just from making out. Crazy. But true. Just from touching each other. It was insane like that. But that Israeli temper of hers, mixed with my half Italian temper... there was just no hope. We were bound to destroy each other. I am glad we were able to get out alive quite frankly. But it still doesn’t stop the pain sometimes.

Knowing that Ashland Meadows had also recently experienced something similar, I texted her something short like: “Question, when you have a free minute.” She texted back. “whatever you need.” So I gave her a call. She was of all places at a McDonalds getting a McFlurry. Talk about turn-ons. It doesn’t really get better than that. Ashland Meadows and a McFlurry in the same sentence. In the SAME ROOM no less! Too much for words. Well that's besides the point. I just wanted to get her take on the whole thing. And true to form, she was dead on in her analysis of the situation. We both concluded that if anything, it is something primitive, something evolutionary in our DNA. Though we might KNOW a person is right for us, that still doesn’t stop us from still wanting that person, or even if we no longer even want them, we still find it hard to think about them with another person. It is only natural. It sucks but its just plain true. I believe that in time it goes away.

In fact I know so. Because I have so many ex-girlfriends that I am now lucky enough to call best friends. And truth is many of them are now married to someone else and I can no longer even think of them in that respect anymore. Even Cleopatra who I was the closest to and stayed with the longest... I just couldn’t imagine being with her in that way. But with other girls, it’s slightly different still.... Still hard for me to think of them with other people. Even though one, I don't want to be with them like that anymore, and two, in reality I hope and pray in my heart of hearts for their true happiness in love and everything else and really want them to find someone who is better suited for them than I. But you know, that still doesn’t stop the pain when you are listening to a recent “ex” talking about being with some other guy or girl... it’s perplexing. And quite frustrating. It is like a battle between the heart and the mind.

At one point Ashland said something to the effect of “Sabine is smart enough to know intellectually what to say. And I think she really believes what she said to you and wants the best for you, which in this case is for you to find someone who is more suited to you and that doesn’t travel as much and who you really can have lots of babies with if that's what you want. We know from the left side of our brain what the right thing is Fishy, and we can even say it, but to get ourselves to actually feel it, that takes time. I think she’ll get there.”

I don't think it could be said any better. So we’ll leave it at that. But I hope she's right. The last thing in the world I would want is for either of us in pain.

You could have heard a pin drop

From: Bloopy
To: Infinito; G2; Fishy;
Sent: Thursday, June 05, 2008 7:14 PM
Subject: RE: in defense of the USA

Guys check this out:
When in England at a fairly large conference, Colin Powell was asked by the Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans for Iraq were just an example of empire building' by George Bush.
He answered by saying, 'Over the years, the United States has sent many of its fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond our borders. The only amount of land we have ever asked for in return is enough to bury those that did not return.

You could have heard a pin drop.



WELL GENTLEMEN, THAT’S CERTAINLY A LOAD OF BOLLOCKS ISN'T IT?

EVER HEARD OF GUANTANAMO BAY??? WHERE IS THAT AGAIN? OH THAT'S RIGHT. CUBA. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU CALL THAT? A GIANT GRAVEYARD? HOW MANY AMERICAN SOLDIERS ARE BURIED THERE AGAIN?

FUCK ALL THESE PATRIOTIC-TALKING TWO-FACED GREEDY LYING MURDEROUS ASSHOLES. INCLUDING COLIN “SURE BOSS I'll SAY WHATEVER YOU WANT ME TOO” POWELL AND THE DONKEY HE RODE IN ON. YOU COULD HAVE HEARD A PIN DROP BECAUSE NO ONE KNEW WHAT TO SAY TO SUCH A LOAD OF SHIT.


BUT THANK YOU FOR THE INSPIRATION FOR YET ANOTHER SHORT BUT BRILLIANT BLOG POST BLOOPY!

:)

Obama or McCain - Who would you vote for?

"Fishy, just curious, who would you vote for? Obama or McCain? ES"

ES,

To elaborate further in regards to your question -- but regarding a different issue, I will reply to you with this and use it for a future blog post:

A loaded question. And certainly not one where my opinion matters too much. But in regards to the issues, I believe that it is obvious that I am much more aligned with what Obama claims to stand for than McCain. That's clear. But with Senator McCain we know he is telling the American people the truth about Iraq. And that takes a lot of courage. Especially in this climate when the occupation of Iraq is so unpopular with so many American people. Whereas with Hilary and Obama they are both either totally ignorant of our reality there (which is frightening) or they are just flat-out lying to everyone as a way to win favor with the voters in their party.

Both are promising that "when elected president I promise you that our troops will be out of Iraq within 60 days..." or "six months..." which is just utter bollocks. Firstly, they cannot make promises like that because they have no idea what the situation in Iraq is going to be like by the time they get into office. It could be better. It could be worse. It is an absolutely ridiculous and ignorant promise to make. Especially in light of the cluster-fuck that our invasion has created over there.

The invasion of Iraq and ousting of Hussein created an open vacuum there -- to the point where it is now almost an open invitation to create chaos and breed more terror all over the world. Saddam had things under control. And now he doesn’t. And the US is going to need years and years and perhaps decades to bring things under control in that region. Senator McCain is smart enough and honest enough to speak this truth to the people, despite how unpopular that message might be.

Secondly, regardless of who we hire for this "job," "presidents" just don't have that kind of power to make those kind of decisions. Anyone who knows what's going on in America knows that. Those decisions are made from much higher up. They will never have that kind of power. To pull troops from an occupied country? Or to stop a war? No. They will either be told to make that decision or not. As has been the case since Eisenhower warned us in his final speech as president, "the United States is on the brink of losing control of its governance to a multi-national military-industrial complex." It's been sixty years since that speech and the days when "presidents" of "countries" could make those kind of decisions are long gone.

Thirdly, if anyone googles "color coded map of the world's oil supplies" they will clearly see why Iraq is essential to the United States of America. Besides the safety and security issues we face if we were to leave now for ourselves and our allies in that region, we also have to face the fact that as a very large country with 300 million people who use more of the world's oil than any other country in the world today -- a whopping 25% of it -- we absolutely need control over the oil that is sitting directly underneath that "country" if we are to maintain the lifestyle and the economy that we have here now.

If we think things are bad now - with the sinking economy, housing market collapse, and rising oil prices -- wait to see what happens if we "leave Iraq" like Hilary and Obama are recommending and Iran steps into Iraq backed by the very eager countries of Russia and China - who also need that oil. We will be at the mercy of them for the next twenty to thirty years and life as we know it today will be only a memory until we can foster our resources and get to figuring out how to really create true alternative energy sources. Saudi oil alone is not enough to sustain our population.

That is why despite his almost Orwellian rightwing agenda, one can at least admire McCain for his foresight and honesty regarding Iraq. He is right - we will be in Iraq for at least the next fifty years. Period. This is what I LIKE about John McCain. He is an honest man. He is also not an entirely partisan politician, which he has proven a few times. Obama we simply just don't know well enough yet to know where he stands. And I would say that if you listen to what he has openly admitted to everyone over the last six months, he himself has confessed the same idea. He understands his weaknesses. He is very well aware of his lack of experience and track record compared to someone like John McCain.

Just about everything else about Senator John McCain's stance on policies and "the issues" I unfortunately vehemently just happen to disagree with. He's a total "righty" and I'm neither right nor left but would just prefer whoever sits in that chair to be honest and not tell fairytales to people about things they know nothing about like "pulling our troops out of Iraq." When Obama speaks like that I seriously question his knowledge and understanding of the underlying issues, or I start to wonder if he isn't just "playing politics" just like the rest of them. At least McCain has the nerve to tell it like it is.

So right now, my vote is NEITHER -- until we learn more about both of them and see what these men are truly made of.



As an aside, I will add this: while in Iran this year I had the opportunity to attend an IAEA conference (International Atomic Energy Agency). I sat at a table and ate dinner and shared drinks and conversation for hours with heads of state and members of parliament from Indonesia, Pakistan, Bahrain, and Qatar. At my table. Just us. We talked for hours. Though I mostly just listened. (After all, I'm just a singer. And the whole time I had to keep asking myself "what the fuck am I doing here?")

Now remember we were in fucking TEHRAN. In IRAN. The United States was not even INVITED. Though over 30 other countries were. And this was a freaking IAEA conference! The topic of the two day discussion was "Iran's Nuclear Energy Program." Something that all of these other countries now back. And I will tell you this, as ominous and frightening as it may be to hear: the United States is just not a popular country right now. This was no secret that night. Everyone in the room was very open about how they feel about the United States of America now. They love our people. But they absolutely loath our government. And they have for some time now. Decades really.

It appeared that these men at various different levels of power in their respective countries' governments are just "waiting it out" as American troops tire out more and more in Iraq, and Iran becomes stronger and stronger and China and Russia become more and more interested in Iran and Iraq. It was almost as if there was this 'secret' floating around the room like a butterfly that everyone could clearly see except us few Americans who were there... that region of the world is just patiently waiting for the US to fuck up in one small way or another and Iran, China, Russia, and the rest of them are going to literally turn their backs on us and give us the finger. I must say that it was one of the most haunting and frightening nights of my entire life here on planet earth.

I left that mansion on a hill in Tehran that night shaken and scared. It took me weeks to get out of bed upon my return. This is something I haven't written about yet because I just don't know how to do it.... how to present it... I don't think the American people, let alone my few friends and fans, have any idea what is happening in regards to the reputation of the United States of America. I had no idea there was such strong anti-American-government sentiment in the world today. But boy did I experience it first-hand. And it wasn't coming from rock-throwing thugs dressed in rags in third-world countries. It was coming right out of the mouths of government officials of real world Nation-States who are sick to death of what they call "American imperialism and bullying."

I'm telling you, we either need to get the hell out of Iraq and make our apologies in order to try to save our reputation -- but before we do make sure we have some solid and binding contracts with Russia, China, and Iran in regards to oil, or we need to buckle down and realize we are going to be in Iraq for the long haul. Oil my friends is the new gold and it is much much much more valuable than anyone realizes yet. To all of us.

So just what color is Barack Obama?

From: xxxxx xxxxx [mailto:xxxxxx@gmail.com]
Sent: Thursday, June 05, 2008 8:50 AM
To: Fishy
Subject: obama & iran

Hi Fishy,

I found this in the NYT online this morning... this must come as a shock to you... and how does your friend who works for Obama feel about that?? R things changing now that he has the nomination? (haven't had time to go investigate exactly what he said further yet, but wanted to ask you about it and if u knew, and your thoughts)

"Mr. Obama appeared before the American Israel Public Affairs Committee, where, tacking to the right, he described a far tougher series of sanctions he would be willing to impose on Iran than he had outlined heretofore."

-X-

Dear X,
So in less than 24 hours after seemingly - though not officially - winning the democratic nomination for president of the United States of America, Barack Obama stands in front of the largest pro-Israel lobby (read “bribery, extortion, and blackmail experts” for the Cliff Notes definition of “lobby” -- at least as it is practiced in the US) in the world today, AIPAC, and tells the crowd that he will impose tougher and even more stringent sanctions against Iran if they continue to enrich uranium as a means to create nuclear energy to fuel their fast-growing country. Says the New York Times, "Mr. Obama appeared before the American Israel Public Affairs Committee, where, tacking to the right, he described a far tougher series of sanctions he would be willing to impose on Iran than he had outlined heretofore."

Already starting to change colors right before our eyes? Well one isn't quite sure yet. But how utterly and typically “political” this most recent stunt has made Obama appear. He failed to have either the knowledge or the courage – right now we aren't sure which - to remind the crowd that Iran is legally entitled under international law to be working on researching nuclear energy under the Nuclear Proliferation Act – they currently have approximately one-hundred and twenty-thousand citizens employed and working at various plants around their country in this program – nor did he mention that they were given authorization from and originally purchased their nuclear energy knowledge and many materials to do so from the United States as far back as the Eisenhower administration.

How on earth can this man be talking about more sanctions against Iran and trying to stop them from enriching uranium when it is absolutely none of his business is the question that is begged to be answered here.

And also, even more questionable, is how can a man who clearly owes his rise to power to the peace-card carrying doves of the left already be making right-wing hawkish threats against a country who are clearly only growing in strength and power and in political unions all over the globe every year as the United States continues to grow weaker and less threatening to a world who is waking up to some obvious cracks in the once-great nation’s armor? Windbag rhetorical threats are the last thing any candidate needs to be showing us as we continue to interview the applicants for the job. We've already had plenty of that from the last assholes that we hired to fill the position.

Either 1, Barack is just kowtowing to AIPAC to win Jewish votes (which means he lacks integrity by not just being honest with how he really feels), or 2, he is ignorant about how ignorant it is for him to be making such statements that it is somehow the US Government’s right to try to stop another country from harnessing nuclear energy, or 3, he is just ignorant as to how arrogant and erroneous it is for one country to attempt to stop another country from harnessing nuclear energy for the betterment of their own people -- especially when all American Intelligence reports clearly show that they STOPPED working on nuclear WEAPONS research 4 years ago.

So which is it?

I have said from the beginning and I will say it again here: I lean neither left nor right but straight down the middle – I am a member of the “human being” party. You might have heard of it. It means that I care not to be placed in a box and slapped on the back with any labels but purely and simply care about all human beings on planet earth. Period. I'm too old now to believe that either party gives a shit about what they promise, nor has the power to do anything about it, before they get into office. What I am concerned with is how humane that particular job applicant appears to be. After all, the most important aspect of his job is in essence to secure another few years of our survival as a species – in this case collected under the banner of the United States. If we were in France, it would be under the banner of France. Etc ad nauseum.

Again, lest we forget the endless replies I have already given to the thousands of comments on YouTube and various other social networking sites around the world over the years accusing me of not being a “proud enough American,” one could have just as easily barraged me with such accusations during Hitler’s Germany, during Napoleon’s France, during Great Britain’s brutal fight against “colonial” India, during Nero’s Rome, or even during America’s attempted occupation of Vietnam. People still even do it today under Bush’s America, which is to say the least just plain sad.

But again for the record I will state that “nationalistic pride” is something I gave up, or grew out of, long, long ago -- as far back as my teenage years. It only took a few years of studying history to realize that it was a useless, short-sighted, and often dangerous stance. Instead, I pledge allegiance to the united state of HUMANITY. And to the safety and security of every human being on the planet today and tomorrow.

Regarding our current dilemma as to which of the two men we should hire in the short term for what in the most ideal case should be a very noble position – that being the president of our beloved company, or country, however you want to look at it, as always we are faced with the same tough issues. Neither of them we know well enough. And no single human being should be expected to fill that role perfectly. Over the last 200 years we have clearly been shown this fact, if nothing else.

At least with Senator John McCain we know he is a patriotic man. We also know that he is not entirely partisan. And we know who he is and what he stands for. He is clearly an honest man who tells us what he really believes. In the case of Iran, Mr. McCain suffers from both maladies number 2 and number 3 above. Both ignorance and arrogance. A little something called “too much nationalistic pride and jingoism” and not enough knowledge (or wisdom gained) from studying history – not quite yet realizing that number one, the USA has only been a world super-power for a few short 60 years at best, and number two, that we are very close to losing this dubious title because the rest of the world has caught up to and are well ahead of us economically, the American dollar doesn’t carry much leverage anymore, threatening to blow someone up with a nuclear weapon as a means of frightening them into submission (which used to be the USA’s big “ace in the hole” for the last fifty years) has flown out the window since we now have NINE countries with nuclear weapons including China and Russia, and the US military is stretched so thin that it is obvious that Iran isn't even frightened of the US government anymore since they continue to fund groups fighting directly against us such as Hezbollah.

The question that we should all be asking ourselves at this point is when are we going to hire someone to sit in that coveted chair (remember WE the people HIRE the president – he is nothing – absolutely nothing – but our EMPLOYEE) who is smart enough to realize that the days of stomping around the earth like giant idiot-minded dinosaurs threatening other countries to “do what they’re told” are OVER?

Obama? McCain? It all sounds the same to me if they are going to keep on making ignorant and arrogant threats against other nation-states around the world and poking their noses around where they don't belong. What we need is an applicant for this JOB that we are offering who is smart enough and understands history well enough to realize that it is DIPLOMACY not THREATS that we need in the case of Iran, and in regards to many other countries around the world at this tenuous time in our nation’s history.

As for the historical significance of Obama being the first black person to ever come this far in the race to be president of the United States, let us celebrate it surely as it is indeed a major winning event in our history and in our efforts on behalf of civil rights through the years; but once we get the celebrating out of our systems let us not forget that what we were fighting for in regards to civil rights all these years was to see BEYOND color. So the fact that Barack Obama happens to be a man of color is a non-issue now. That part of the play is over. The applause has died down and we should get back to our seats and prepare for Act II. Let us now move beyond that issue and see who the man really is. Just as we will need to do with Senator McCain.

Obama can be black, brown, white, yellow, red, or even purple as far as I'm concerned and it matters not. (He actually appears to be more of a “tan” if you ask me.) What matters is what's on the inside. Lest we forget this important fact, all we need to do is look to our fellow brothers and sisters in Africa to see plenty of black men who have failed miserably as “presidents” just as we have seen plenty of white and yellow ones do the same through the years.

Hope? Sure. I've got hope. I've got hope that one day we will meet a man, or a woman, who wants this job and actually walks their talk and doesn’t just talk it. I've got hope that one day a man such as Gandhi or Martin Luther King Jr. or Nelson Mandela or even a woman such as Mother Theresa or Oprah will walk in one day and say something like “about that job application I noticed in the paper the other day.... you know, I might be interested if the price was right...” That person, if one exists at all in this day and age, is not going to THREATEN – as Obama did the other day at his speech before AIPAC – but they are going to ENLIGHTEN.

That person, should they exist.... They are going to be above threatening. Above imperialism. Above bullying. Above “spin.” Above kowtowing and above lobbying. They are even, dare I say, going to be above “God and country” -- and instead be joyously and wholeheartedly on the side of Humanity itself and nothing more nor less. For in the end, we are human beings knowingly or unknowingly disguising ourselves beneath various different masks of religions and nationalities.

What we need to do now is begin to slowly and cautiously pull down our masks and reveal what is really underneath – human faces. Gorgeous and beautiful living breathing human faces of all different colors and ethnicities. If we are going to bring religion into this matter at all, and time has already told that it is a place where it simply does not belong, but if we are, then let us pray that one day this person will grace us with their humble presence at the doorsteps of our office and say “hey, maybe I'll give it a whirl if you’ll have me.” And for THIS I will pray everyday. THIS is my hope.

Amazing Grace

It is now 2PM on Wednesday. I have not gone to sleep yet. meaning that I have worked right through Tuesday, Tuesday night, and here it is the middle of the day on Wednesday and I have still not slept. There is way too much work with all the different projects that I have taken on and simply not enough time. The irony is that it isn't just me working. I am involved in many, many projects and each has its own little group of partners, employees, mentors, investors, and patrons attached to it and we are all working on them full-tilt.

Infinito refers to it as the “rebuilding the Ambassador’s Empire" project. Everything from negotiating the various record deals the band is currently involved in, to the constant post-Iran-Trip press activities, to all of the different cyber-pr and viral marketing we are doing to build a stronger brand and product – i.e. the Fishy/Transcendence product, to the new book we are writing, to the new Optum Consulting company – that now features three completely different divisions, to the two new non-profit companies and websites that I started this year, to the daily blogging in the Transcendence Diaries that keeps me sane and keeps fans and friends updated as to what I'm up to and thinking, to the three new albums we are releasing this year, to the entirely overhauled and new official Transcendence website that is still being brainstormed and built 24/7 around the clock, to giving guitar lessons, business coaching, and nutritional consulting as a way to make ends meet, to this strange new miraculous and magical songwriting collaboration with Little T where we have literally written an entire album’s worth of material in less than a month and now are desperate to find a studio and the time for me to record it as a new solo album (how are we to find the $ or the time for this when it doesn’t fit in anywhere in my schedule?), to the more than full-time job of trying to respond to the onslaught of emails, fan mail, hate mail, and ridiculous amount of various YouTube and website(s) comments that warrant replies of some kind – which is at least two full time jobs in and of itself... not to mention the two or three weekly or monthly volunteer activities that I am officially assigned and committed to, and an almost full time job of mentoring two young boys that I have adopted as little brothers over the last four years who have been going through rough times at home.

Yes we are busy. So busy in fact that I find myself on the phone literally all day in conference calls with one group or another till my voice gets hoarse, switching from one call to another, conferencing different people in throughout or calling them right back, and then at night I find myself on a different set of conference calls with a different group of partners... and somewhere in between it all I still have to actually work at all this stuff – do the work -- by just sitting in front of the computer all night - and still find time to eat, exercise, and sleep. Which as of late have been the things that I have just let go of completely to the point where I feel like death most of the time – as if I am walking around in a confused daze. Every week or so I reach a point where my eyes start to cross and I cannot see straight, I get dizzy, and then I start throwing up a few times from just total exhaustion, then find myself clogged up and congested as if I have a cold, near death fall down pass out and sleep for twelve to fourteen hours straight – dead asleep even while a very loud alarm clock is going off for hours right on top of me. The thing that strikes me the most peculiar is that when I reach this point of exhaustion I don't even hear the alarm clock. My roommate actually comes in and turns it off because she can hear it all over the house and it is driving her crazy and she says I don't even move a muscle when she comes in. it is almost as if I just go dead. Just BAM. Out for the count.

And that my friends is what I mean when I talk about “If you want it, you CAN get it. But you WILL have to work at it.” The question is “how badly do you want IT?” Whatever “IT” happens to be for you.

There is such a thing as balance of course... there is not necessarily wisdom in being involved in so many projects all at once... how we got here I don't know. But I know it started sometime last summer when I was so completely overwhelmed that more than one person – and I am lucky to have all of these people in my life helping me to rebuild – suggested that I make a list of every “current active project” that I was involved in. We assumed the list would come to about 15 based on our conversations. We were surprised to say the least that we discovered instead that when we really looked at the list it came to 49 “current active projects.” 49. No wonder. Well there it is... that was the problem. Princess Little Tree asked me if I could try to really focus my intuition on what were the 10 most important and try to stick with those. Catherine suggested I focus on only the ones that would yield actual cash flow and leave all else behind for a time... both suggested that I promise to stop YouTubing as a “current active project” and hence that is why I haven't posted anything to YouTube in a few months. Every now and then I manage to squeeze one in because I just really enjoy the process.... but to be fair to them and the amount of time and energy they are focusing on helping me, I have almost completely stopped. I miss it. But in time I will come back to it.

What we did is we created these spreadsheets that I update at the beginning of each new week that outline exactly what the top level priorities are each day or week so I can stay focused on just those tasks... but with life not necessarily fitting into a spreadsheet as neatly as we want it to, there is always something – many things – that appear out of nowhere and jump in to throw everything off.... it is quite challenging because of course with so many projects open at once and so many people involved and having to work around everyone's schedules.... to me it all just seems like a mad whirlwind of activity that leaves me breathless and exhausted... and yet, it is I who is creating it... I am at least clear on that. No one forced me to do any of it. And as Ms. Darlington or Little Tree remind me weekly, it is after all my choice. it’s my life. I could always choose to slow down if I wanted to, or even go the route of “getting a regular job” and just foregoing all of the projects entirely and live a normal life and forget the whole rebuilding the empire concept...

But alas, after my fist official New York presentation this past Sunday regarding my peace delegation trip to Iran, I realized that I had finally come full circle and landed smack-dab where I always knew I wanted to be and dreamt of being in my life – I believe that I have finally and fully rid myself of any of the remnants of the old “ambassador” – selfish, materialistic, feeling that my glory lay in glitz, money, power, or glamor, and instead discovered a new me underneath it all that is finally ready to show up, be real, sincere, authentic, and completely selflessly dedicated to serving humanity in the best and most authentic way that I am able to by simply being me.

It was a very moving and revelatory experience. This subtle but magical day... It was something that I had always envisioned but never knew exactly how I was going to get to, nor believed that I had it in me to really get rid of my selfish materialism enough to ever get to.... but since I was forced into that by unforeseen trickery at the hands of another - Cleopatra and her merry gang of thieving attorneys, and at the exact same time the music business imploding the way it has and our distributor going bankrupt – thus leaving us from being accustomed to regular monthly royalty checks to now not having received a check in 25 straight months, I have had no choice in the matter. In three years I watched a small fortune shrink into a large debt.

I cannot help but feel that there is a bit of Divine Guidance in all of it. That had I not gone through this “cleansing by fire” if you will, that I may never have been able to release myself from the shackles of riches and excess because I had just settled so damn comfortably into it, that I never would have discovered this new more authentic me underneath that realized that there was so much more to life, so much more to me, than my car, my hair, my money, my belongings, or the looks of the girl on my arm. I was literally trapped, partly knew it, didn't wholly know it. Had an idea of it. Didn't think I could get out of it though. Always thought that the likes of persons such as MLK or Nelson Mandela or Gandhi were beyond me, not because I wasn't a smart or dedicated man, but because I was too much a selfish and materialistic man. I had no idea that something divine and miraculous would enter my life to change all that – poverty.

I have been both ridiculously wealthy and miserably poor several times in my short life and I can freely, confidently, and readily submit that being wealthy is by far easier and more enjoyable. But I have become sharpened, emboldened, and inflamed by the events of the last two years. And I dare say that despite the fact that we are indeed quickly rebuilding “the ambassador’s empire” that the ambassador himself will never be the same. Money or no money. For all the struggling, suffering, nervousness, worrying, and insanity that accompanies a life of poverty, it has added a touch of grace to my life that I always knew existed but never really experienced firsthand. When you are living in a life of perceived poverty, you have absolutely no choice but to depend solely on WHO YOU ARE to stand you up rather than WHAT YOU HAVE. I didn't know this before. I had no firsthand experience of it.

That's because I was born rich, then became poor as a young struggling musician who bucked the family’s expected tradition of becoming a college grad-school attorney and ventured out on my own to become a professional musician. As a hungry young man – months at a time without electricity, years without a phone or car, homeless for almost a year in the worst years, all I wanted to be was rich again. I have to say that I was lucky in that I did it pretty fast. I struggled through my twenties and before I reached thirty years I had already made my first “million” – meaning simply that I had companies grossing over a million dollars a year who's revenues I could then use to start other companies with.

It wasn't all luck. It came pretty much from what I'm doing again now. I literally didn't do anything else in life but work. If I wasn't working, I was thinking of working. And when I say work I don't mean “working a job for someone to earn an hourly wage” because you just aren't ever going to become wealthy that way. No, when I say working I mean “working at becoming rich.” Which means trying one or a few different projects on your own till you make it rich. Until that, you're poorer than all the middle class people who are working for an hourly, and then one day they turn around and ask “How the hell did you get so rich so fast?” And of course you're response is “Uh, well it wasn't so fast, it took me freaking ten years, and I did it by working my ass off.”

Now once I achieved wealth, I grew a lot in every direction. Money was good for me. In a lot of ways. It gave me a sense of self and purpose that I needed as a hard working ambitious young man. I certainly didn't become a bad person from it. I was lucky there too. Money didn't ruin me like it does a lot of people. it didn't taint me. It didn't make me evil or selfish or greedy. But I did become someone addicted to money, and also someone who saw money as sort of the ticket to everything... including one’s self worth. A measure of one’s value.

So as a wealthy man I longed for sincerity and authenticity. Very much so. I felt that I had already achieved earthly enlightenment. Having worked on it for years and years. I was not lacking in that department. My connection with the Divine and with my Higher Self was strong and I was aware that I had a very positive influence on those around me. But inside I knew that I was being something on the outside that was only about half of who I was meant to be. Only I just couldn’t figure out what it was... or what I was meant to do about it.

You know it isn't until you are forced to stand up like a man and represent yourself and who you are based on nothing but who you are that you really come to realize that you have indeed achieved that state of realness and sincerity and authenticity that some of our finest fellow human examples have shown can be achieved. It didn't happen to me overnight. And it is still not complete. I take refuge in the fact that I am at least wise enough to understand that it will never be complete. I will always be working on becoming more real, more sincere, more authentic, more caring of others, more selfless. I am a work in progress at best. A messy one at that.

So yes, where were we. Well now it is two hours later in the middle of a hot New York spring day and I haven't slept in over 48 hours. I just continue to work till I drop. Then I pick myself back up and do it again. The point of this little entry was really meant to be more of a record of this moment in time – for a I feel that we just crossed that really bad “down in the dumps slow music” part of the movie and we are about to reach that glorious “cue the music Hollywood happy ending” any week now – I can just feel it... so I just wanted to record what we’re all going through right now in order to make it happen.

Remembering this is going to be important for me. It has been a rough ride. But it has also been a strengthening one. And a graceful one. More than anything it has taught me the value of true friendship. Without friends, I don't know where I'd be. Like the guys in my band, Bloopy and Rockaway and Vancouver and Infinito and The Poet. Guys like G2 who’s worked for me for ten years straight now and let me rack up a bill for the last six months the size of a small fortune and still calls me at midnight to brainstorm or conference on the progress we are all making in “rebuilding the ambassador’s empire.” He emails me one day about two months ago and explains his quandary: “Dude on the one hand I have a wife and baby due in august and I'm putting off paying clients to spend days and night on your work and you can’t afford to pay me. But then I'm laying there at night when I'm trying to fall asleep and I'm saying to myself “I can’t leave my brother just hanging like that... I have to help him, money or not.” Now that's a friend.

Mohdie and Madelynne O'Ryan are still there, as they’ve always been. Mohdie loaned me eight grand three years back for a court case and said “Brother, you better be right on this one cause this is my boat money and I've been saving it for twenty years...” Well luckily I was right and was able to give it right back to him a month later. Brother Beav paypaling me when I need it. Mom God bless her. Western fucking Unioning me in the worst of times with a little memo at the bottom that says “only to be spent on groceries.” Anyone who is lucky enough to have a mother...

And then there is the story of Catherine Darlington and Princess Little Tree who literally believed in me when for a while there I didn't even believe in myself. Wrapped up in a little ball on a bed for weeks afraid to move, immobilized by fear, they just swooped in and caressed me, propped me back up, and said “back out into the world you go young man. You're still the ambassador. You’ve got work to do. Now go get ‘em!” I will never forget that. I would kill for either of them. They’ve shown me love that I never knew existed in the world among ‘not blood family.’

Even Weather Girl and Bunny, who in a very short period of time have both just gotten to know me so well, better than I know myself, that they’ve been able to take my chunks of coal and see diamonds in them long before I did. Weather Girl with her cold and calculating, disciplined and organized way of thinking, can literally pinpoint the exact problem I have with working through certain things can shift me into overdrive with one call just by pointing certain things out in such an uncannily robotic almost computer-like fashion – she just thinks in a way that I don't have the capacity to think like. Without her there’d be no “new book.” Oh there’d be thousands of pages of writing as there always has been, but there’d be no actual book.

Shooting me over text after midnight text “you’ve got to write this book now! You are so much more than a rocker. You are a visionary. Why are you limiting yourself to just a rocker? Why don't you actually write the book? Why don't you take notes and then dictate them to me and I will organize them into chapters? Why don't you send me all your theses and I will do the statistical research to see if you are actually right with all your ideas and predictions? And two weeks later, “Guess what Fishy?! Every single thing you say is happening is actually happening! Lets write this book now!” She's taught me a lot about who I am. Pointing out certain character traits and suggesting ways to improve them using these strange methodical practices of discipline... funny things like that.

And Bunny. She came out of nowhere. Listens to me when I'm down. Listens to me when I'm up. Corrects me when I'm wrong. Commends me when I inspire. What with her “Goddamn you Fishy. You lucky bastard. You just luck into it all don't you? All you do is just walk around enjoying life, exploring shit, having adventures, doing your thing and you live this life that is so fucking interesting that it’s like your whole life is one giant TV show or book and you don't even know it. Let me edit your shit man."

She took that proposal and worked for a solid month on it endlessly day after day for a promise of ten percent on a giant leap of faith and not even a dollar. Now before we’re even done with the first book she's taking the Transcendence Diaries and turning them into a book. “You have how many pages of memoir typed already?!!!” “About four thousand pages now...” I casually mention. “Fishy do you realize memoir is the hottest genre in literature right now? Fuck man, just send me a few hundred pages and I'll start editing it and get all your rambling out and we’ll put out the first of the series. Who the hell writes four thousand pages of memoir and doesn’t do anything with it?!!!” “Well what am I supposed to do with it???” “You're supposed to publish it you idiot.” “oh. Yeah well i figured I'd get around to that eventually.” She says I'm retarded, but like in a good way, and that's why she loves me. So I guess that's a good thing. We shall soon see. That's for sure.

In any case, I'm about three words away from throwing up and passing out. But let it be said here in case I don't ever get a chance to mention it again -- that I'm not doing it alone. None of it. Cleopatra Ecstasy did her best to bring me down – [I don't think that was her intention – it was just the side effect of her doing her best to prop herself up at the expense of anything or anyone that got in her way, and that included me unfortunately.] But I will relate this story in case I never have in print before. If I have, surely Bunny will notice and edit it out.

I was walking to see that movie Amazing Grace a few years ago and I was right on the brink of realizing that I had just about lost everything. I was still eating $60 plates of truffle pasta for dinner at Brio on the Upper East Side but I was going broke fast and still kind of in denial.... I was walking along in the cold New York winter on my way to this movie and I was sort of cursing God. Like “Why is this happening to me? What the hell did I do to deserve this? Why are you doing this to me God? What IS the lesson?”

And I hear this voice as clear as day in my head, just as I always do when it sounds like an angel or my higher self is speaking to me and it said “God isn't doing this to you Fishy. Cleopatra did this to you. And some decisions you yourself made did this to you. Human beings do these things to each other. But God is grace. God only does good things for you. God is going to pull you through this. God has brought Catherine Darlington and Princess Little Tree into your life, and so many others. God is what's going to help you through this. Do you understand?”

And then right in that moment as I was listening to this voice in my head I look down at my feet and just like always there is this perfectly beautiful and beautifully perfect white feather on the ground right in front of me. I bent down and picked it up and twirled it between my fingers. “God is grace,” I whispered to myself. “I get it.” It is truly an amazing grace if you open up to it.

Stepping out of the two-party box

"Yes," he answered to no one in particular when the question appeared in the room; staring off into the open space that connects us all, "it is a challenge. But it is also extremely entertaining. Perhaps because it is just so damn interesting."

He was referring to the question, more of a statement it was really, regarding how difficult and challenging it must be to handle the constant influx of comments and mail both good and bad, both slobberlingly gracious and downright nasty, that one receives or reads online about oneself when one places himself out THERE in the public domain. Especially in such a personal and potentially vulnerable manner in which our hero has made a habit of over the last fifteen years. The internet has made it all the more overwhelming now of course because to give an interview in the Times is one thing. To post your latest rant on the internet as fair bait for everyone and anyone takes a brave soul, or perhaps just an insane one. But truly, and this just might be the greatest benefit of it, it eventually reaches a point where there is no conceivable way to actually read all of it, let alone personally answer it.

But every now and then I do. Truth is, for better or worse, thoughtfully complimentary or insanely rude and hateful, I enjoy scanning through Youtube comments especially. Real human dialogue is almost always instantly and immediately created. And again it is not a practice for the faint of heart. Not only am I just as addicted to the revolution we call YouTube as the next guy, I see it as a very exciting harbinger of what's to come. In essence, that which we now call YouTube is the future, our future.

When I can find the time, which is becoming less and less available and more and more valuable these days, I will sit down and shoot off as many replies as I can when a community has cropped up around a particular video. It always amazes me how regardless of what the actual video is about people will still find a way to turn the dialogue that begins to mushroom around a particular video into these little bickering arguments amongst themselves. How quickly one or more will jump to ad hominem attacks of perfect strangers right there online for all the world to read - rather than simply staying on point or on message. When the video in question is one of my own I will on occasion attempt to jump in and add my own two cents in order to quench a few fires and get people back on track...

Such is the case often in relation to the political or social commentary vidoes that I post. And remember the whole Transcendent Television on YouTube project started out as a social experiment that i was only meant to conduct for a year. A way to explore and monitor what got people's attention, what motivated them, what excited them, what keywords they typed in the most, what would attract the most views, and what would attract the most comments. The results were predictable and at the same time surprising at times.

To answer another question, no, I do not take the comments or emails personally. I learn what I can from a business and artistic perspective and move on. If I can't help myself I will chime in if for anything to either say "thank you" or to just lend a bit of light to the ongoing debates...

Such was the case with the comment below. Unfortunately I do not remember what specific video nor which comment this reply belongs to. I just felt it important enough to copy and paste to use in later work, which we are now doing this very minute. This, in effect, is just one of the many powerful benefits that YouTube and the vibrant community that has sprung up around it has given us all. A good laugh most of the time, and every once in a while true inspiration.

Dear Rev1,
That was actually funny. dude. funny! Ok so i beg to differ with your somber and frightfully hateful appraisal of me, especially seeing that we have not even had the pleasure of meeting face to face yet. But seriously do you really acknowledge 'liberals' versus 'conservatives?' I mean, are you just kidding? -- playing into the whole charade for the sake of humor? Or are you really that brainwashed that you believe that there is a difference between the two parties? Do you not realize that both parties are in the end slaves to the same few who control the system? Now that you're a raving fan (LOL) see my video series entitled FIGHT THE POWER which addresses this scam in more detail.

Same thing to you my friend: It has nothing to do with republicans or democrats. Nor with whites or blacks. Please wake up and start studying what has really happened and what is happening and stop attacking each other. It is simple: good or smart or ethical people versus lame racist imperialist assholes. They come in all shapes and sizes and colors and political affiliations. Please stop attacking each other and start fighting for humane causes that TRANSCEND political party lines. Some republicans have been assholes. Some democrats have been assholes. Conservatives are nice as hell sometimes. Other times they're murdering thieves. Liberals are great when it comes to caring about others sometimes - at least that's what they want us to believe. But they are just as greedy as anyone else -- depending on WHO it is. Get out of the two-party box that they have you jammed into. You don't deserve "five thumbs down" because your comment was freaking hilarious by the way. But if you're serious, bro, you have to spend some good quality time studying some history books. Turn off the TV for good and learn what's really going on. It has nothing to do with liberals versus conservatives. It has a lot more to do with US versus THEM.

Yours,
The Raconteur

Fishy announces a new non-profit project -- PeaceWithIran.com

A personal message from Fishy

Thank you for visiting www.PeaceWithIran.com for those of you have already written to me about it. Your presence there is welcomed and appreciated just as much as it is here. I want to caveat by saying that though “war is imminent” or “military strikes are imminent” may be an idea or thought or belief that many are carrying around today in regards to the United States and Iran and even Israel, I do not personally hold this thought or idea or belief myself.

Yes I certainly see the news being released everyday about the various issues, and I recognize that parties on all sides feel very passionate about these issues; whether it is the threat of a “nuclear Iran” on one side, or a ”bullying America” on the other side, or a “fearful and hostile Israel” on yet another side. I also certainly understand the potential dangers that all three countries pose against the others and truly against all living beings on the planet today. But I believe that what we think about, what we give energy to, is what we create. We have seen it time and time again. As soon as a country starts beating its war drum, it is only a matter of time until it decides it’s time to “go to war.” Regardless of the loss of life, liberty, respect in the world community, or the burden it places upon the rest of the world. Throughout human history, there has always been one country or another “ready to attack” another country.

The truth of the matter is that this is bound to continue until mass human consciousness changes to the point of what might be called “critical mass” in a way that these people who see “war” as the only answer for “peace” simply no longer exist. In time this will be our reality. It might take our total annihilation and extinction and subsequent reincarnation in yet another form for this to happen, but let us hope not. Let us hope that those of us who see “peaceful means” as the only means available to us to achieve “peace” win this historical battle of wits that is being played out on the world stage.

With that said, let us take it for granted that for the next few months or years even we will have ample opportunity to read about “war” and the “threat of war” in regards to Iran and the United States and Israel if we so choose to. There are plenty of people who find the time and enjoy searching for the latest article or report on what “so and so” said bad about “so and so” and of course in the end it is really nothing but talk leading up to more “war” – even if their intentions are good – meaning that they don't want “war” – but in fact that is exactly what they will create. Some people have just not evolved to the level of understanding of the “mechanisms of consciousness” yet to the degree that they realize that if they spend all their time thinking and reading about it, they will indeed create it. Whether they claim to want it or not. They are creating it simply by focusing so much attention on it.

But that is not what this particular website is concerned with. Our goals with the www.PeaceWithIran.com website is to show an entirely different side of US/Iran relations and to the country of Iran itself, and the Iranian people. The idea is to literally ignore that pink elephant in the room that at various times is called “war” or “threats of war” or worries or concerns about nuclear energy programs or WMDs or any of that lower-mode primitive-minded nonsense. Because God knows we have plenty of people already giving plenty of energy to those ideas in today’s world.

Remember elementary school? There were always those one or two kids in each class who were the bullies, who picked fights for the slightest reason or for no reason at all, who made fun of other kids, who tried to make us laugh at the expense of others, who tried to pit one classmate against another for the sheer wicked enjoyment they got out of it. Though this isn't elementary school anymore, it sure seems like it sometimes. Those kids have now grown up. And if we aren't careful and vigilant to our cause - the safety and survival of our species - these grown up kids could blow us all up simply because they haven't fully matured yet as most of us have, and also because we haven't done enough to speak up and tell them to back the fuck down.

It’s too bad we weren't able to do that in regards to the United States Government’s invasion of the sovereign country of Iraq. Lord knows plenty of people from all over the world tried. But no one was brave enough to really stand up and say “no.” And so in the last five years we have watched in horror over one million innocent people die. It is also equally regrettable that we have thus far been unable to stand up against the Chinese government in regards to how they are slowly but steadily killing hundreds of thousands of Sudanese people right before our eyes.

Of course, the issue of Iran is a bit more complex than Iraq or the Sudan. Both countries were radically unstable and not much of a threat nor a strong foe to begin with. But Iran is a very different matter. The people of the United States of America should feel very lucky that the Iranian people are such a strong, proud, and resilient people that up until this time they have not taken the constant beating of the American war drum by the few barbarians in Washington who do not understand the basic principles of diplomacy too seriously. Instead they choose to just continue on with their lives and hope that eventually America finds someone else to bully. For unlike Iraq or the Sudan or Tibet for that matter, Iran does have the potential to pose a serious threat as a formidable enemy if they ever felt so inclined to. Not only do they have a very proud and loyal populace since their own revolution, they also have the backing and allegiance of many other countries around the world. Luckily for all of us, they instead choose to do their best to just keep on trying to move forward with their day to day lives.

So instead of focusing on war and threats of war and who has the biggest army or the biggest guns or who said what about whom each day in the international press, those of us on the light side need to start focusing our energy on Peace and on People. After all, Iran is a country full of people. So is the United States. And in a nutshell, war isn't good for people. Nor has it ever done much good for “peace”.

It is easy to find ourselves upset at the US government, just as it is easy to find ourselves upset with the Iranian government or the Israeli government or the various factions within the Palestinian government. But it isn't going to do us much good to focus on these feelings of upset. Let us instead choose to focus on Peace itself. Let us instead focus on discovering how many millions of Iranian/Americans we already have living here in the United States who still have family “back home” in beautiful Iran. Let us instead develop a curiosity for this rich and ancient and historic land once called Persia, now called Iran.

Let us instead develop a place online and in our hearts where we who care can share photos, films, books, movies, art, and music from the fascinating cultural exchange that is taking place right this very minute between our two great countries. Iranians love Americans. There is much to like about us. And they can see that. And though many don't yet know it, Americans love many famous Iranians. Iran has contributed much to the planet in its five thousand year history. Our very own Constitution is said to be inspired by the Persian King Cyrus the Great and his drafting of what many believe to be the very first “constitution.”

PeaceWithIran.com is a story of hope. It is a place to learn and to share. The goal being to add some balance to the already nauseating clutter of war-related stories coming out from the hawks and bullies of the world - and the hapless media lapdogs who follow their every step. We made a grave mistake with Iraq. We never bothered to even look these poor people in the eye before we attacked them; because our hearts were heavy from the events of September 11th, and our minds were confused by falsified “intelligence reports” coming out of Washington. But we will not make that same mistake again.

Let us take a look at the face of Iran – since after all, Iran is a country full of 70 million faces. And our goal is that not one of them is touched, hurt, injured, attacked, maimed, deformed, put out of their homes, or killed by anyone. Just as I am sure most would agree that we have the same goal for ourselves. Let us hold it for our Iranian neighbors as well.

In the meantime, there is much to learn about this truly fascinating people and country. Take your time and look around the site if you get a chance to visit. And if you have something to share, please feel free. This site is open to all who have something to contribute.
Thank you again for stopping by.

Sincerely,
Fishy