Monday, February 16, 2004

There’s this: I have noticed that we grew up in such a manufactured world that when you do realize that something actually comes from nature as opposed to being man-made it can sort of shock you for a minute. I looked at this bottle of cinnamon earlier today and I thought, ‘I like cinnamon. I wonder how they make it...’ and then it occurred to me that they don't really make it, but that it comes from nature that way... wow, things still come from nature? I started trying to remember where cinnamon actually comes from... is it like a tree or something? That’s city life for you. You just don't even think about things like that. Imagine eating something that comes from a tree? As opposed to coming from some factory or plant or laboratory somewhere. There were days long gone when everything we consumed came from nature. And now, in the cities at least, it seems like everything we consume is more man-made...

“Hey Om, what's up? Sorry I couldn’t take your call. I was on the other line...”
“No worries love. How are you?”
“Uhhmm... I'm hanging in there.” laughs. “That’s about it...”
“Laughs....” “Its o.k. you can be negative. Let it out.”
“Well you know its just one of those days.... just wondering what the use in all this is... how much more worthless can life get.... that type of day. the good stuff.”
“Don't worry. It’ll pass.”
“It will? Well I'm waiting... I'm fucking waiting... but its still here...”
“I'm just getting out. I was in it for the last five weeks...”
”Five weeks?! Say it isn't so! No. I can’t even take a fucking day of it. You’re talking five weeks?! Uh uh. No way.”
”Sure. I'm just getting out of it...”
”Fuckin a. Maybe chicks are just better at that than guys. I'm freaking out all day today.”
“God Fishy you are so funny. What's wrong?”
“I don't know. I'm just thinking about all the friends we have that we don't have anymore.... you know?”
“Oh that one... Yeah I know love.”
“You know that one? God I hate it... I hate how we are friends with people at one time in our life and then we look back and realize that we aren't really friends with them anymore... God I fucking hate that.”
“Yes I know that one. Well we’re still friends.”
“I know. but that never helps does it... I mean, when we’re thinking of all the friends we don't have anymore, we just focus on them and we don't think about all the friends we still have or all the new ones. God I hate that. I really think I have issues with the whole friends thing...”
“You are funny...”
“Well I'm glad you are getting something out of my pain. its good to know that its good for something... I thought for a moment that it was just a waste... all this pain should be used for something...”
“You should go home and write a song.... its always good for that.”
“I know. But God how many fucking songs can I write about being in pain? I think I've pretty much beaten that subject to a dead and bloody pulp. Can you say that? what the hell is a dead and bloody pulp anyway?”
“you just need to write a little. Get a good song out of it. tomorrow you’ll...”
“I know. That's what's so fucked up about it. tomorrow I'll wake up and wonder what all the fuss is about.... that's the way it is always is... except with you of course who just stays in it for five fucking weeks! I couldn’t imagine.”
“Welcome to my world...”
“The agony and desperation of not having anything wrong in your life.... it can be a terribly painful thing... laughs...”

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