Hey Vancouver,

This is your older brother talking here. Not your blood brother, but your musical brother. Sometimes one is more important than the other and vice versa.

A huge talent you are. But I heard about what's going on with you. not good word on the street obviously. And I know you know that, so I'm not going to harp on it. Instead I wanted to offer advice and consolation from the bleachers because I'm a big fan.

The response to nothing is cohesive has been great so far. all the people in the biz that have advance copies think we have really created our masterpiece. I don't think that yet. I think that's still to come. But people really like it. if response to swy was what the hell is that???!!! response to NIC has been wow that's good!!!

And obviously the same can be said for swy as well since we have had a lot of great opportunities come our way since its release six months ago.

Just try to remember this. we recorded swy and NIC as a band of guys who got together and made great music together. its your classic VH1 story, except we aren't super successful yet. But we are getting to go on some great tours because of our hard work and we are now about to release a real single to commercial radio. I know you don't know what that means yet, but what it means is that INDIE bands aren't allowed to release singles to commercial radio. Those doors are usually closed. But somehow they are opening up to us because people believe in what we have created, indie or not.

The point is dear brother that as a band we recorded two great albums together and now we are reaping some small rewards for our effort.

You too are being rewarded for it. the tours were offered to you too. they were offered to all of us who made that album. And that's an amazing thing. just because you chose not to take the rewards doesn’t mean that they aren't yours to glory in and celebrate. They are. I still say that the combination of you me and Father Bloopy is an amazing thing. and now that we have Rockaway in the band, I feel even better about the band. Although sloppy, he is creative talented and has a great spirit. And boy oh boy is it a pleasure to play with the Poet again~!!!!!! The guy is fucking great!

The point is this: you chose as a man to take refuge in the security of being a side man rather than the risk of being honored for your great work as a creator. We have a real shot now in the next six months here and abroad to show the world that we are a great band of brilliant creators. It truly is an honor. And we really miss the opportunity to enjoy it with you.

But you are choosing instead to step back into the shadow of some guy you barely know and who could give two shits about you instead of the warm and open arms of your comrades.

I honor though do not understand your decision. So I'm not trying to talk you out of it. its you and your life’s decisions and I understand your desire to go big time. but I'll tell you this: as soon as someone starts offering you ultimatums about how you should be and who you should be, run fast. your self respect is everything. and this situation is starting to remind me of the guy who dumps the girl but takes her back only if she will make a bunch of changes that she really can’t make so there is no love left but they try anyway to make it work.... etc.. that never works. both parties end up feeling like losers in the end. so watch for more to come...

You need to be in a nice safe comfortable secure space with people who love you and cherish you for who you are. Please remember that. sometimes from you I get the feeling that you are so busy chasing love from new people that you forget to acknowledge the love you already have from those around you. watch for that.

Don't worry. we've all been there. but you can get over that. you just need to start loving and honoring yourself for who you are. You already are a God. and you already are a gifted talented creator. Please don't forget that.

Remember your heroes. Todd and Dylan and McCartney. These are not just great men because they are talented singers writers and performers. They are great men because of their morals and values and their respectability. In other words, they would have told the Castro crew to go fuck themselves and had a few stiff drinks and moved on to become the great gods that they are.

I would rather you see you playing in DC3 or doing your own thing than playing in someone else's band whose music does not do you justice. Honestly. Fishy or Transcendence can always hook up with you in the studio and create magic one day again if the stars have that in mind for us. like I said, the three of us have a winning sound and style together. but better your other projects than this crap of telling you to change who you are. You dig what I'm saying? you are too good for that kind of trip. But when people offer you choices, its up to you whether you take them or not. God smiles either way and helps you with your decision.

The world will wait for you and your talent while your wasting it in third world countries. The world needs your talent. And I have no doubt that I will one day be reading about you in music mags all over the world. with or without me being in the picture or this band or whoever. So the world can wait. Because you are that good.

But the question is can you wait? A mans self respect and self love is something that he earns everyday. It can disappear in an instant and he is left wandering around feeling low and not knowing why. trust me. I know. I have learned this through the years and don't wish for you to learn it on your own. I would rather you just trust me on this one. think of the poet, who although he has no money whatsoever comes off as a very proud and confident and self respecting individual. There is a reason I believe. He respects his actions and his decisions. You can see it in his demeanor. I am constantly inspired by how he carries himself.

Whatever it takes to climb back up to the place where you feel awesome about yourself and who you are and who you are becoming, just do it. You have my total support. Not only are you a great musical talent, you are a great spirit with a lot to give the world. [I looked at your inscription in the wings book you gave me for my birthday and I was reminded of what a great guy you are.] In the band or out, you are still that great guy.

[you obviously have a tough time still with friendships and connecting with people. and yes it hurts those around you and in return hurts you because you can feel their pain and their frustration with you. but don't accept that as your way. work on it. change it slowly and learn to teach yourself to be more trustworthy and more there for the people around you who love you and work with you. you will get a lot out of this. trust me on this one too. I know from the hard way. so just watch for it and work on it.]

Don't ever forget that your love and your adoration of yourself comes from within. That comes from the inside out. not from the outside in. Don't ever forget that. and don't ever forget who you are and how much you deserve in this life. The fuckwad mainstreamers who try to change you don't deserve your enthusiasm or your talent or your attention. Money or no money. a mans self respect is never ever ever for sale.

Keep kicking ass in your life bro. We will meet again.  

All my juicy butt love and big kisses,
Fishy