First few nights in new apartment in nyc. Hard to feel comfortable or at home here. renting in a townhouse. Have to lower your standards a bit when you are used to living in the big beautiful suburbs.

All night tossing and turning. Not a lot of sleep. Hate the mattress. Really gross. Feel very claustrophobic in the bedroom. The entire apt is only 414 sq ft. everything including kit and bath. Crazy. that's the size of my bathroom back home. I have been studying intently the sounds of different accents the last few years. brought on  by the fact that when some one puts you on the spot and asks you to sport and English accent you may or may not be able to do it, unless of course you have been schooled in it. By a voice instructor, like actors do for certain roles in films. So I have really been trying to pay attention to all the different accents people speak English with. The Russian accent, the Irish, the new York, the new jersey, the Boston, the polish, the middle easterner, the South American --- forklift

Spent all day looking at offices for the new TMG headquarters. Still not feeling a hundred percent. No NE of my stuff is here yet. still on the truck . anxiety at night sleeping in others peoples strange bed and bed sheets freaks me out.

Still spending more than I'm making, not good.

Phone company will not install Internet service till next week some time so I am forced to walk around the city opening my alp top everywhere to see if I can log on to some network wirelessly to get on the Internet for a few minutes. Its totally crazy. you hit ‘view wireless connections available and you see like maybe five to ten wireless connections while you're just sitting there on a bench somewhere . I have found that the best place to go is on the steps of apartment buildings and then you have a lot to choose from that way. and then I log into them and then I'm on the net.

Not a very productive way to work. But better than nothing and better than an Internet café where you pay by the hour or whatever. for now.

Fun New York facts. [If you are a new Yorker skip these sections because it will seem obvious to you and boring.] A city block takes a minute to walk. a north South block is called a block. A east west avenue is called an avenue, not a block. Each avenue is approximately three blocks. You find yourself walking a lot here. a lot. You could easily walk a hundred blocks in a day.

As a visitor I used to take taxis everywhere. now I realize the value in trying to take the subway everywhere or walk.

I have lots of friends here. maybe not as many as Miami but it seems like more because we are all in this city so it is easier to see each other. In more suburban areas like Miami or LA, it seems like you are so spread out from everything that you always have to make plans with everyone to do stuff, whereas here you just meet up all the time because you are so close to each other.

Boo Boo Kitty lives six blocks and four avenues away from me. so that's a total of 18 blocks which is about a twenty minute walk. in Miami I would never walk twenty minutes to anywhere. But here it doesn’t seem like that big of a deal to walk that far. not only don't you mind walking twenty minutes, you enjoy it because the city is just so beautiful and breathtaking to behold.

Today I had real confirmation that I was right about this city and about the city of Miami. the cigar clubs are filled with men sitting around talking about their favorite smokes, about sports, about stocks, about the debates... its great. What I always wanted in South Florida but never got. I feel like I'm back in time. back to the real America. All the old men and middle aged men remind me of my grandpa. Its good times. the men talk about real issues. They are intelligent and educated. It is refreshing.

At Starbucks you can start a conversation with the girl behind the counter and she will smile and laugh and be real and talk back. It was a real confirmation for me that my intuition was right that I was lost in Miami, in a strange and unfriendly place where I didn't belong. Here it is so easy to find a smile or good conversation.

Tonight we played the game cashflow. Really cool game that everyone has been getting into for the last few years. teaches you all about making money and managing money. very cool. learning a lot about me and money. my relationship and my beliefs about money.

Basically it breaks down to acquiring more passive income [money that you don't have to work a job to get] than your monthly or annual expenses. Easy in theory but something you have to work for if you aren't born into money. strike it rich and then you're there and you don't have to worry about it anymore. I've already been there a few times but somehow always manage to spend my excess money and now find myself back at ground zero for the second time in my life already.

Crazy. mostly its because I go with my emotions and just continue to invest in my various artistic passions which sometimes don't pay off and so I end up spending all of my cash I have collected from passive income sources, then begin selling off my passive income assets to build new artistic based businesses that don't pay off and then I'm back at square one again. this has been the way its played out all my life. I have just always had this idea that thinking about money the way that normal people do and trying to save it and build it like that is fine for normal people but for an artist/entrepreneur such as myself that I don't need to worry about any of that because its better just to do your thing and follow your muse and the money will follow... but that hasn’t happened as of yet as much as I have wanted it to. one of these days i will strike big with one of my artistic endeavors, I have always assumed anyway, and then it will all seem worth it. hope so. That's the dream. That's what I'm working so hard for. But in the meantime I do have a lot to show for all of my money spent and hard work; but I am just cash poor, have no savings, and very little current income, passive or otherwise. Great time to move to New York. Hehe. Beav says I am crazy but courageous, as always. Lets hope that counts for something and that the big man upstairs is watching.

Heard yet again this year, this time from my realtor who was showing me office space today and who couldn’t stop laughing, that there needs to be a camera following me around and I should have my own reality TV show. Because, according to consensus, I am hilarious, but in a unique and interesting intellectual way, so it would be totally different than anything else out there. so this is the fourth time I have heard this this year. I remember writing about it earlier, over the holidays because the Artisan swears that that's where my big money is. in me being on TV just doing what I normally do everyday, being me. I'm totally up for it. just not sure how I can get it to manifest. Will keep my ears and eyes open though and look for an opportunity.

Realizing or shall we say, re-learning re-discovering that my life is a reflection of my current beliefs. AND that I don't have to be worried or frustrated by life as much because I can actually have control over my beliefs and thus create or change my reality by doing a bit of work on my beliefs.

It is cold here. only October but its already in the sixties and windy. This is not so good. its refreshing but it makes me worry a bit about how I will make it through the winters. It is becoming very obvious to me why everyone either has a winter home down in Florida or in California. I have to say that I believe that New York is the best city in the world, but this cold and darkness is not so nice.

Still studying the history of Israel and the Jewish people. An hour or two a day. fascinating. Somehow, whether by fate or just coincidence, they seem to be the key to our entire human civilization. Maybe its fated as many claim. Who knows. but what a ride. something that occurs to me throughout my reading is this. for five thousand years you have this one group of people who manage to continue to piss people off all over the world no matter where they go or what country they are in. people are just always getting mad at them or being jealous of them or feeling threatened by them. for five thousand years now. my question is, why? is there any reason for it? is it warranted at all? I mean, is there anything to it? or is it just because they were homeless for so long and so never fit in where they were? Or is there more to it? I mean, are they doing something to instigate it? as a people? in the way they are or is it something deeper, more destined? Or is it just happenstance? Just because they have always been misplaced and without a home of their own? they have had a home now for only forty years. and yet there is still a lot of trouble there. that's a tough call, that whole Israel/Palestine thing. a tough creation. Hard to know what's right or wrong there.

One thing you do learn, and I could never take the time to write about how much I have learned about the subject, is that the Jews are cut from the same cloth as all the other middle easterners. They all came from the same place. its just that over the thousands of years they kept splintering off into all these other groups. The Jews originally came from Mesopotamia in Sumer, which is where Iraq is now. so weird. So “not known.” and originally there were the ‘twelve tribes of Israel” and then ten of them split off and became all these other different groups of middle eastern and Arabian nations. I think if more people

Knew and understood this, then there wouldn’t be so much mystery and hatred and bigotry. As a lot of Israel friends tell me, ‘Fishy we are all the same, all of us over there; we just have different religious beliefs and customs.” and of course the other thing is how strange it is that the Jews and the Christians and the Muslims all worship the same God. they just don't acknowledge it and they all do it in different ways. They all project and attach totally different characteristics to this same God. so they end up thinking they are all so different but they are all pretty similar, seeing that each of their different gods came from the same Jewish God concept originally.