Thursday, April 21, 2005

I had one of the most spiritual experiences of my life today. a few days ago I had a conversation in the early morning hours with this lady out in Sedona who channels... it is said. I had been told by her that I had six angels with me at all times. she said that everyone has at least one, that she has three, and that I was very lucky because six was the most that a person could have. now of course because I do not necessarily believe in angels, but would love to, I was skeptical, found it amusing, but nonetheless was certainly happy to hear it. I asked her several times if she really believed this angels stuff... she assured me that they are real. I also asked her if angels share us or if each of us in her belief has our own private angels... at first she was a little taken aback by my questions. She paused for a moment and then replied that each of us has our own private angels all to ourselves. I asked her ‘well don't they have anything better to do? I mean, don't they have lives of their own? she said that for those that choose that, that is their lifes work in that incarnation. They are happy to hang around us, watch over us, guide us, etc... interesting. she said I could communicate with them. that I could ask to connect more with them. they will never do anything that will hurt you. they will never come into your life if they think it will affect you negatively, she tells me. she told me that when you find feathers that that is a sign of the angels being around you. perhaps telling you something.

Each night I go to sleep and I speak to them. as I am lying there in the dark I speak out loud to them. ‘hi you guys. its me. Fishy. I know you're there. I've been told you are at least. Although I could be talking to myself. Which is fine. Anyway, I know there are six of you. at least this is what I'm told.’ I stare into the darkness. Any minute expecting to see something. ‘so I'm asking you to come into my life more.  I want to see you. I want you to know that I want to connect with you more. I want to know you. I want to see you. indeed if there is anyone in the world who is ready to see you and to know you it is certainly me. I am not afraid. I'm not saying I need lightening and thunder bolts and all that. in fact, I would rather you guys leave that for someone else really. Just show up. here. now. in my apartment. That would be fine. I am happy to know that you are there. please feel free to contact me in anyway you can...’ and every night I have been having this little conversation with them. very happy as I fall asleep. Almost giddy from the experience. For whatever reason.

Today I was in the Hermes store on Madison avenue smelling the new Hermessence line of colognes and admiring some new Hermes scarf designs. Nothing I like more than smells. Except maybe a beautiful girl in an Hermes scarf. To those that know me personally I am berated for my over the top cologne collection. At last count it stood at a few over eighty. I think they call that OCD. Obsessive compulsive disorder. But one could have worse disorders than that I would think. I may be crazy, but at least I always smell good. anyway, a very pleasurable experience indeed.

Afterwards, I walked by the Christ church on park avenue, built in 1913. for some reason I decided to go in and sit a while. strange I thought, almost second guessing myself. I'm not even a believer. I thought. But it will be nice, came the thought. I will go in and sit for a while and connect with the God force. Something compelled me to go in. I sat there for a while. eyes open. eyes closed. Talked to God. talked to the angels. Pretty soon I felt the most amazing energy all around me. it snuck up on me. one minute I was only aware of myself and the strange fact that I was in this church, wondering why I was in the church in the first place. and in the next minute I had my head back and my eyes closed and I was just in ecstasy. Feeling the most profound sense of love and peace and comfort I had ever felt.

When I opened my eyes minutes later I noticed that there was this tiny feather sitting on the seat next to me. one of those tiny little fuzzy feathers. Maybe an inch or two long. brand new. Just sitting there. I stared at it and looked up at the cathedral ceiling and smiled.

I took this to be from the angels and of the God force. It was quite magnificent. A few hours later I walked into the men's room at the studio and I swear to God I walked up to a urinal and laying right there below the urinal was this tiny little white feather about an inch or two long. just sitting there by itself. Waiting for me. how did it get in the building? Took it as a sign. Looked up and cracked a smile and a nod. So there are angels after all. either that or there are some invisible birds following me around here in the men's room.


Current spin: David Byrne, grown backwards. His new one. LOVE IT. such art. My my. I'm sure it will be entirely ignored except by die-hards. It’s just that good. so fucking experimental it is making me drool sometimes... in general his voice gets on my nerves a bit after a half hour. but so does my own. so does almost anyone's. that's why Beatles or eagles or Fleetwood mac records are so good. changes it up here and there. not just one singer. this is a great CD if you are looking for something different and creative. Like all his releases. The man just has it.

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