Weird place. looks like Europe. the architecture is so unique. but its all men here. and they're weird. a lot of them come off like nasty little girls with chips on their shoulder – sarcastic and mean spirited. I have never experienced a stranger place in America. At the airport the first taxi driver we hired was so out of his mind and rude that we unloaded our stuff back out of his cab and got into another one. he was totally fucking psycho. Never seen anything like it. and then today some taxi driver cuts another one off and then our driver rushes up next to him and slams his car right next to him to start yelling at him, but the one who cut us off could see it coming so he just ran the red light to get away from him. we’re in the backseat thinking maybe we’ve woken up in an episode of punked or the twilight zone. Where is ashton?

Lot of bums here. or whatever the PC name for us is when we are operating through that identity. Its like they're on stand still. some of them. others are just crazy. but for some, you talk to them, and they're not crazy, they're just sad and disillusioned. I'm sitting on a bench out by the bay having a smoke and typing these very words and some come and sit next to me now and then. some lie down to sleep. Others sit and stare off into space, spotting the occasional cig butt on the ground and bend over to give it a light and a few puffs. Others take sips from some bottle wrapped in a brown bag that they have tucked into their coat or jacket. I remember those days. I spent a lot of time on the street when I was a kid. just sitting and hiding and waiting. I can relate to these men. Waiting for a life is what it seems like. Just sitting it out and waiting for something to happen. you spend a lot of time reading when you're in that state. Reading and thinking. the older I get the less I read. and the more I attempt not to think. I'm starting to believe that they're both pretty useless time wasters.

The bums are not happy. I can feel it around them. every time they moan or groan I want to give them a hug. Tell them I understand. What can I do though you know. when you're waiting, you're waiting... though usually its gradual things that pull us up. its not some BAM all of a sudden type of thing. usually a slow blooming of the spirit, slowly realizing that everything’s alright after all.

Current spin: Keane, hopes and fears. Love his voice. How magnificent. 
Current spin: the Dead, a 36 minute dark star from ’77. unbelievable. The dead were like Beethoven or the Beatles. They pioneered this whole new musical form. Long form improvisational pop rock jazz funk space jams. What an amazing thing it is to listen to the grateful dead jam when they were on. Nothing like it.