Saturday, May 21, 2005

We can see the slow but constant cultural evolution all around us all the time. thought about candy the other night. yes candy. As always mom sends a ten pound box of it every year for Easter no matter where I am in the world. [this is just one of those awesome things about having a mom that you hope one day you can reciprocate. I return to my humble abode from being home for the holidays with a five pound Christmas stocking filled with gifts and candy and homemade cookies etc. then Easter comes around and I get these huge boxes of Easter candy, and then of course for Halloween the same thing... maybe she's secretly trying to kill me and Beav so she can take our money... LOL. but prob not. prob just trying to be sweet, forgive the pun, like moms do.] so I'm noticing that some Christmas candy had snuck into the Easter basket. How did I know this? because I was eating from a big handful of jellybeans and bunny and egg shaped chocolates when all of a sudden I realized that I was eating a bell shaped chocolate instead. of course one often doesn’t notice things like this. and just eats away, but with my limited lack of a life I was more than prepared to meet this challenge head-on and stop the whole damn event right there in its tracks. the problem was that these chocolate and peanut butter bells were my favorite treat in the whole damn fifteen pound box of sweets. And here they were bells left over from Christmas, somehow managed to surreptitiously jump out of my Christmas stocking obviously, and not having anything whatsoever to do with Easter. So what right had I to sit there eating from a box that was at best only pretending to be an Easter basket in the first place and then not even to be eating Easter shaped chocolates? Perplexed I was to say the least.

Anyway eventually I noticed that the bell shaped candies were actually made by the ever lovable Mr. Butterfinger. And that's my point. The major candy companies finally figured out after decades that they could take over the holiday candy market. And that in its own little way is evolution.

And let us not forget Monsieur Goozalu (the Persian word for “making wind” or passing gas) a very famous fartist from abroad. At first coming from the visual farts, he soon realized that if he added sound to his works of fart that he would win even more fame and prestige and literally could floor his audiences. His famous fart exhibits include the very popular annual ‘fart in the park’ among many others.

Last screening: star wars revenge of the sith. Yes I must admit that I was the one in case I disturbed you that yelled “Yew!” at the very beginning of the film when the intro appeared on screen. Just couldn’t help it. it has been a while hasn’t it and I was certainly as excited as anyone else there. But alas like the other two before it, just didn't quite cut it did it. by far the best one of the lot, but still left a lot to be desired. And one would mean that literally in this case rather than just cleverly copping a phrase to impress the next door neighbor in the knee high black leather boots. You do indeed walk away desiring a lot after sitting to watch these films. One wonders where is star wars? Where is that magic fairy dust that seemed to cover the first three when we were tiny tots. This one, wow, talk about bad dialogue versus no dialogue. Which was worse? The complete lack of story, sub-plot, or depth or the brief moments when we were forced to suffer through Samuel l Jackson pretend to be a Jedi master. Natalie Portman from what I can gather played a mannequin in a runway fashion show  many costume changes to mark her different appearances where she just stood with her mouth dangling open staring out large windows thinking one assumes ‘just which of those damned designers put this old football helmet on my head and how long do I have to wear it?’ haydon God bless him delivered probably his best performance yet which doesn’t say much because his performances in these lucas disasters to date have been any word you can think of which has a wose connotation than dreadful. But still, he did his best job in this one. about as believable being evil as mickey mouse would be or Kermit the frog. Speaking of Kermit, yoda was as always hilarious without intentionally trying to be the poor bastard, doing all these flips and still not getting after all these years that the verbs follow the subjects when you’re speaking English. The first hour or two was just a lot of video game fighting between God knows who for only God knows what in very fake plastic computerized looking worlds... But to be fair as always the scenery was quite fascinating and at times exhilarating to view on the big screen and one was in awe of the special effects and detail involved in putting it all together. but beware now I warn you of the scene where ewan McGregor is riding on the back of a rubber dinosaur chasing a robot riding in a metal donut. So yes this too like the other two leave you longing for the first ones. oh well. we still have those very first two at least. I have some friends who worked on this film and they say the problem is that because George is George and everyone is so damned impressed to be working with him that no one says anything, no suggestions or critiquing. So its George doing his thing with no input whatsoever. I believe in input as an artist. The more the better. I have another friend who is an assistant to Ron Howard and he says that working with Ron is the exact opposite. He is always asking for people’s opinions so his movies tend to be better, more collaborative efforts and I think that comes through on the big screen.

Date?
In the movie theatre right now waiting for the new star wars movie to start. I have this cool fucking leather bag in San fran that hangs just right and is small enough to carry my laptop over my shoulder with minimal discomfort and so now I carry it everywhere with me because its easy. and so right there in the theatre before the movie started I was able to whip out the old laptop and start writing. right there in the theatre? weird? maybe. But in New York no matter what you do it seems as normal and acceptable as crossing the street. God bless our beloved New York. may I never live anywhere else.

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