Queenie always used to make fun of me for being too much of a girl. She opens my drawers and sees a lot of hair care products and makeup and that makes me a girl. Which to her is weird… Which is funny because that is what other girls always say they like about men who are feminine. So I knew she wasn't the one. She would always say that I am a lesbian in a man’s body because I am really a girl but I like girls so I am just trapped. That's funny. She has no problem saying that now as a friend but as a girlfriend she hated that about me. But I always liked it. I like who I am. I feel very balanced as a human. Complete. Whole. 

In Brasil whenever you mention Caetano someone will always mention that they “think” that he is gay, even though he has a wife and four kids. They whisper it. That is their big ‘secret’ about Caetano the secret that everyone knows. They think that because he is so feminine that he is gay. Which he isn't. He has just transcended to the point of not being too male or too female. I mean that’s the appeal of a Caetano. Or a Pavarotti. Or a Davinci. And you know even if he was gay, what would be wrong with that? Man I am so sick of this thing people have against being gay. You don't really notice it in New York or Miami. We take gay people for granted in those cities because there are so many of them, San Fran, Atlanta, etc, but in most other towns people always use the idea that someone is gay as a bad thing, like “he's such a good singer, but he is so gay…” like there is a “but” to it.

There is no “but” to it. He’s a good singer. They did the same thing with Ricky Martin two years ago. What does he being gay have to do with it? I remember talking to my dad when I was like 21 for the first time in over ten years. He said he didn't approve of a lot of things about my profession, the drug use, and the people being gay. I asked him why, and he rambled on something about God and the bible and then something about being gay is counter productive to our instinct to pro-create to further our species…’ perhaps he just doesn’t give God enough credit, perhaps he has a bigger picture in mind. Perhaps she/he/it/ we know exactly what we are doing and that is why so many people are turning up gay right now. Anyone ever heard of population worries? Perhaps our species has a collective unconscious knowing of exactly what to do and we are just too near sighted to spot it. Just a hunch. I think Americans need to just give in to it. 

The fact that this country elected a president that is not pro gay rights and gay marriage is really really terrifying. Who are these people voting anyway? Where do they live? You think you live in one world and then you read things like George W. Bush doesn’t approve of gay marriage and gay partner rights and it can really rock your world. It's hard to imagine people are still stuck back there in their thinking. As if same sex partner rights has anything to do with politics in the first place. O.k. so where am I? Rambling.  

Back when we were in high school and even today a lot of guys suffer from this looksism disease, similar to their sexism and chauvinism and racism. Guys with long hair with earrings with makeup or overly expressive are labeled as queer, as fags, as freaks. I told this guy the other night who was coming off all tough and macho and trying to defend some non existent ‘normalcy code’, the ‘all American thing’ that he should mellow out. That if he enjoys music and movies and art that some of the freakiest people roaming around the planet usually are the ones who came up with it. That is the nature of the artist. “You like music? Well then you could be making fun of your next favorite singer and not even know it. Ozzie wears makeup. So why don't you cool it.” We high-fived, said a couple of ‘dudes’ and he was cool after that.

Current Spin: Coldplay new one. Still digging it.   

Last Movie: Seeking Asylum with Roberto Begnini.