Walking around the Gables today. Running errands. I stopped for some lunch and opened up this book on the history of Italy to read while I ate. I read about how many times Italy has been taken over by different countries and tribes in its tumultuous history. How it has been loved and adored by people all over the world for thousands of years. I never thought about that before. When you think of Italy you think of it's accomplishments. Some would argue that Italy is the beginning and the end of civilization, of culture. EM Forster called it “the University of Art itself.” You think of the Roman Empire, of architecture, painting, sculpture, music and opera, romance, and of course fashion. And then you study the history and you see this country being taken over by some new invader or old enemy every fifty years or so. For thousands of years. You just don't think about it like that.

Reading that, seeing it right there on a timeline in front of my eyes really made me realize how precarious of a position we are in as a country ourselves here in America. I mean we have only been a country for two hundred years, a drop in the bucket compared to Rome, and we have only been the world super power for less than a hundred years. Today when I saw this history of Italy, I really was taken aback by our arrogance and ignorance as a country, perhaps not us as much as our elected leaders and their inability to see the potential danger ahead of us if we don't stop meddling in all these other countries business all the time. It happened to Rome and they were it. They were the biggest super power in the entire world. No one could touch them. Same thing with the Ottoman Empire and the French army underneath Napoleon and countless others throughout history. And all these little countries and armies just run around doing whatever they want thinking nothing is ever going to happen to them, and then eventually someone bigger stronger smarter comes along and just knocks them down.

Our generation just takes it all for granted. I mean we did until September 11^th. Now who knows what to believe? After September 11^th this professor at Evergreen State College, Larry Mosqueda, Ph.D. wrote a paper called Shocked and Horrified. We posted it to the intelligence archives on our site. It detailed how over the last fifty years the United States has been responsible for the deaths of over 8,000,000 people from some thirty different countries in various terrorist attacks of our own. Countries like Panama, Chile, el Salvador, South Africa, and of course Iraq. Now of course our government doesn’t call them terrorist attacks. We always have a ‘valid reason’ for the invasion and the casualties. It is always in the name of democracy or freedom.   

Now this fact is not something we see on TV too much. It's not something talked about here in the states, but if you ask anyone else around the world, they will know all about these figures and all these innocent lives lost, what we call here in America “collateral damage.” Our media just doesn’t talk about it much. Ask someone you know how many Iraqis did we kill in 1991 in the Gulf War, and their guess won't be anywhere near the 200,000 that we actually killed. It's just not something we know about as Americans. Which is weird because we live in the most free country in the world. I mean this information is readily available to us.

The underlying sentiment of his piece was maybe if we stopped our own little terrorist attacks we wouldn’t have to be so worried all the time about being attacked ourselves. Over the last year, since September 11^th, I have talked with many of my friends in Europe about this. and I ask them point blank, well what is the sentiment of England or France or Germany etc. and they get this nervousness about them and they don't look me in the eye and it's like they don't want to answer me. But when I press they always say the same thing: that Americans are so unpopular because of our government’s foreign policy, which is a polite way of saying what my friend Richard who lives in London told me, that the United States is perceived as the big bully of the world. He went on to say that although it's all reported about in a very professional manner, the general perception in Europe is that America just goes around and does whatever it wants to whomever it wants and just tries to pretend that everything is alright, because they have the bombs. That everyone is just very frightened of America because they are always going around taking over other countries or telling them what to do. That is why on any given day you can turn on the TV or open a newspaper and see some angry people in some other country burning an American flag and screaming and protesting about us.

I'm not saying I know what to believe about all this because I don't. And frankly I wish it was something I didn't have to think about. I wish it was more like when we were kids, you know, George Washington and the old red white and blue and all that. God do I miss that. Like it is on TV or in the middle of the country, states like Kansas and Missouri, you know, apple pie and baseball and old glory. I remember growing up and being so proud to be an American. So proud just to live here. And still today I am. Especially after September 11^th. the way everyone came together as a people was so awe inspiring and validating that we really are a great great country of people. So yes I am proud to be an American, and proud of the American people. I just don’t know if I am proud of the American government like I was when I was a kid. I mean it doesn’t seem like all these other people in all these other countries are mad at us or hate us so much as they hate our government. Chances are they realize that we are as innocent as they are. But it's not like we did anything wrong.

It just seems like it's a select few in our government who are making some bad judgment calls. and unfortunately we are having to pay for their wrong doings. Like maybe their priorities are not all together the same as our own. They talk about peace and democracy but they think that war and killing is the only way to accomplish it. That has always struck me as a strange way of looking at things. 

But like most Americans I have always been willing to turn away and let them do whatever they wanted because as my good friend J always says, we have our freedom to do whatever the hell we want to as Americans. We can order a pizza to be delivered right to our door or go out all night and be safe and free and happy and meet some chicks and eat pizza with them and man that's what makes America so great. 

But September 11^th changed all that. Now it doesn’t feel so safe anymore. I mean now they're starting to retaliate against us. It's brought to light some serious questions. How willing are we the American people to let our government just do whatever the hell they want to? And then it's we who will take the heat and pay the price. I think we are all pretty much in shock still and don't want to think about any of this. We think, ‘God if I could just watch a movie instead or go out with my friends.’ But this is real. It's happening right now. decisions are being made in our name. for each and every one of us. Like this new war on Iraq that Bush is so hell bent on getting us into. The media says that 65% of us are for this new war. It reminds me of Michael Jackson selling all those records after Thriller. You read about it, but you never met anyone who actually owned a copy of Bad or Dangerous, you know? It's like who are all these people who want to go to war with Iraq, and why? You turn on CNN and they have all these analysts coming on saying that it's not a good idea and if we do attack Iraq, that none of the Arab nations who are now our allies are going to be too happy with us. The sentiment is nothing like it was back in ’91. The international support is just not there. there is a risk that Iraq will start to bomb and Israel and that Israel won't back down this time but instead will attack back, with of course America supplied weapons, but then all the other Arab and middle eastern countries will get involved and before we know it we will be smack dab in the middle of world war three. And all of this right around thanksgiving and Christmas. And 65% of us are for this?

I think we are all being too soft about this. I am scared for us as a people. I mean it seems like for the most part the American people have lost their strength to stand up and protest like they used to. Everyone seems to have this attitude that things are just going to keep on going they have been going no matter what. The fact is they haven't. we just lost over three thousand people last September 11th. Now we are going to war to lose more people and to kill more people. With the Taliban? Nah. With Iraq. Strange. The UN countries are not going to war with them. We are. Strange? If they were so bad, this would be a UN fought war, but it isn't. It's just us again. George W. He won't go. He won't know any of the men and boys he sends off to die. He’ll just give the orders.           

Prayers for peace pray for peace.