Last night I talked with anne pageant. She called out of the blue. I had found this ring that she had given me years ago. I knew she was with this guy now. so I thought I might send it back. she was my first girlfriend. Well, you know, she was one of them, from way back when, the first looooong one. Back in high school and college, before I met Madelyn of course. She moved down when she finally got out of high school so we could be together. We had waited four years for that to happen, no more, maybe five years or six even. But by the time she moved down here, me and Maddie were in over our heads in our first summer of love. So that was that. Anne moved back to Connecticut after her first semester down here. But we have always stayed in touch over the years. Through all of our different girlfriends and boyfriends. Year after year. On my birthday, I can always count on a call from her. Since I was about fifteen years old. It’s a nice feeling. We talked a long time last night. she is getting married soon. to some new guy. She loves him a lot. He's a cop. We laughed at the irony of it. There was a time in her life many many lifetimes ago when she was with me, the young long haired drugged up and drunken rock and roll rebel who would sneak through her window in the middle of the night, our parents and the cops were the bad guys. And we were the good guys playing out our own little love story. Talked about how we both still have boxes of all the letters we wrote each other during those years. how cool it would be to compile them all, both hers and mine, man it must be about five years worth of letters thousands of them, two teenagers in love dealing with the usual woe-is-me teenager stuff, us against the world and all that. it would make a cool book. We had a laugh.

So Fishy, I'm the last one I guess huh?
Whaddaya mean?
When I get married, I'll be the last of them. You’re going to have to collect a new set of ex’s. We’re all married now.
Nah, I'm done collecting ex-girlfriends anne. I want to find one I can really hang on to for a while.
What? No more five year installment plans? She laughs. You’re still waiting for your super hero girl, huh huh, she laughs. What a wonderful laugh she has always had. very Connecticut.
Well you know actually, Queenie is still single. God poor Queenie. I hope she is alright.
Was she the one after Madelyn?
Yes.
What's wrong with her?
I don't know exactly. Always something. now she thinks she has eating disorders. Its always something. I don't get it. she's so beautiful. smart. Witty. Hot. Good family. I just don't get it with her. Sad.
You're always trying to fix all your ex-girlfriends, as if you are still going out with them. That’s sweet of you Fishy. have you seen her recently?
Well we hadn't in a long time. like six years.
you went six years without seeing her?! That must be a record for you!
Yea. I had to. she went crazy. I couldn’t deal with it. I was scared of her.
Why? Because she wouldn’t go along with the Fishy installment plan... o.k. we’re going to break up now and this is how we’re going to do it and then we’re going to be good friends forever plan? Remember Fishy I was there once too.
Well, I just you know... Follow my heart.
I know you do love.
Thanks.
So you saw her? How was it?
it was good. really nice. we made love of course.
You had sex with her after six years of not seeing her after everything she put you through? You weren't worried that she would freak out again?
I don't know. I was just into it. she's very beautiful. and we get along o.k. for sometimes up to five minutes at a time. I laugh.
you are too funny Fishy.
No that's not really what’s funny actually.
This I gotta hear.
What's funny is when I was making love to her I looked down at her and she looked so beautiful, so I told her that, and then I said I love you. and she looked up at me like i was crazy and just simply said, ‘shut up.’ and we burst into laughter. It was so funny.
Hold on! You told her you loved her?!
Well yea. Of course. I mean you don't stop loving a girl just because you break up with her.
No Fishy, YOU don't stop loving a girl after you break up with them. most people do.
yeah. I don't know. I have heard that. but part of me doesn’t believe it. don't you always love someone once you love them?
I think that's just you love. That's what makes us all so crazy for you years after you break our hearts. We can’t resist it. we know you still love us but you’re just fucked up, haha, she barely laughs.
Uh thanks. That's nice. you’re nice. Remind me talk to you more often. Anyway, maybe you’re right.
So she told you to shut up? God that's funny.
Yeah. I guess that is really funny huh? So we had a laugh. And that was that. it was very healing for both of us.
Fishy?
yeah?
No matter what happens out there, just know I really care for you. you mean the world to me. You know that don't you?
Yeah sure I do. and you mean the world to me. what are you trying to tell me?
Would you be terribly hurt if you didn't go to the wedding? I mean I can send you an invitation if you want one.
You're going to send me an invitation but I'm not supposed to go?
It would be hard on [insert generic male cop’s name here]. he knows about us. how close we were and all that. you won't be hurt will you love?
I guess not. But shit anne, that was in college. That was a long time ago. I mean, you're going to get married and you’re going to be sending an invitation to one of your oldest dearest best friends in the world but he isn't supposed to show up?
Sweetie, you are my oldest best friend actually.
But I'm not supposed to go to your wedding? What, you're afraid I'm going to tell lots of crazy sex stories about you to all of his relatives right? haha. Seat me with his grandparents and I could give them an earful!
Fishy you're cruel. Please stop!
O.k. fine. 
You understand though don't you? It hits too close to home for [cop’s name goes here]. He’s catholic for God sakes.
Catholic?! What are you crazy?!
God don't get me started.
You and me both. I will be surprised if the church doesn’t burn down when you walk in.
I will be surprised if I don't burn it down myself before the wedding, ha ha. She roars with laughter. pauses. You mean the world to me Fishy. pauses.
O.k. Fine. Shut up. I'm not going. but I wish you the best. a cop. I can’t fucking believe it. who would’ve figured that.
Hey! eyHeyWe heard you on the radio in the car the other day. over the weekend. It was so exciting.
Cool. In Connecticut? What station?
I don't know things like that Fishy. you know that. just a station up here.
Well cool. I hope we go to number one in your town the week of your wedding! That would be a laugh, huh?
Yea. that would be the one time when I wouldn’t be praying you had a number one hit in my whole life, she laughs and laughs. That's too funny!
Well lets hope I do. cause we’re working our butts off.
Story of your life. I hope you do sweetie.
Yeah me too.
Well lets talk soon o.k.?
O.k. I'll call you for Christmas.
O.k. deal. Bye love.
See ya.

Last screening: breakfast at Tiffanys. Hhhmmmm. Maybe you just had to be there.